This morning I finished the book Act in Doctrine, which I referenced in a post I wrote after I read Chapter One.
I absolutely loved this section from p. 137:
As we teach, we do not represent our families, our friends, our academic discipline or training, or our professional experience.
Rather, we represent Him.
His purposes should be our purposes.
His interests should be our interests.
His work should be our work.
His ways should be our ways.
His will should become our will.
That really struck me because I've been thinking a lot lately about the work I am doing--within my family, the community, Power of Moms, etc., and the only way I can feel deep satisfaction with my life is if I know my will is totally aligned with God's.
Is that easy for anyone out there?
I had a mini-meltdown a couple of days ago. I'd been trying to do too much (again), and too many unexpected things came up (mostly relationship-based, which I simply couldn't put off), and my heart was hurting for my sweet mom, whose short-term memory is pretty much gone.
She stayed up the entire night on Monday, waiting for my sister and brother-in-law to fly in from Seattle--because she was looking at an old calendar and didn't know that it wasn't December anymore.
She finally woke my Dad up at 5:30 in the morning, and when he realized she'd been up the whole night, he got her settled back into bed, and then he called me to see if he needed to cancel any medical home-visit appointments that morning (I'm managing her care schedule since my mom gets so confused when people call the house to talk about appointments).
I know I can't make all this better for my mom, but as she is slipping further and further away, I feel like a little piece of my heart is dying.
I only live 45 minutes away from her, but my responsibilities are here--taking care of my children, being here with my husband, running Power of Moms, helping out at the school whenever I can. . . .
And if I'm going to take time to sit at the computer, I want to be 100% sure that the work I am doing is aligned with the Lord's will.
There simply isn't time for anything else.
So those are my thoughts today. I'm going to go out on a little run and breathe in some fresh air and pray along the way--and then I'll do my best to listen closely for the answers to come. They always come.
Much love,
April
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Your sweet mom...I can imagine that would be so difficult. Thanks for sharing the hard things and your thoughts. There is much to be done and we need to be guardians of our time and priorities. It's not an easy thing to do, but you're right, doing HIS will is always the right thing to do. Understanding what that is requires effort on our part. Definitely something I need to be better at. Thanks for the thoughts...and I also wanted to say thanks for the podcast visit tonight! I really enjoyed talking with you!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Andrea! It was wonderful to get to talk on the phone with you, and after such an uplifting conversation, it was fun to go tuck my boys in bed and read with them and just enjoy being a mom. xo
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about your mom, April. That is just so incredibly difficult. You will be in my prayers! xoxo
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