I Love a Good Reality Check

Allyson Reynolds wrote a great post on Power of Moms last week called "Reality Check."

She wrote about how summer doesn't always turn out as planned.  Our children aren't necessarily as excited as we wish they would be about progressing, cleaning, and being helpful. 

This summer has been wonderful in so many ways, and for the most part, our schedule and routine has been great, but not a single day has gone exactly as planned. 

Here's a photo I snapped the other day in our living room (This is actually after we cleaned it):

The piano is covered with music books. Throw pillows have actually been thrown. And block towers, Hot Wheels, and Legos are all over the place (especially in the area hidden behind the piano).

I do love this time with our children.  It's noisy, messy, fun, and beautiful, but sometimes I just want everyone to FREEZE FOR 24 HOURS so I can catch my breath.

Yesterday there was a surprise rainstorm.  For about five minutes, it absolutely poured.

I was in the laundry room when I heard the pitter-patter of the raindrops, and I heard Alia call from the front porch, "Mom! Come outside!  It's raining!"

I really wanted to finish cleaning the kitchen, but I knew this was one of those moments I wouldn't want to miss, so I went outside and stood in the rain with all of my children and my husband, who had just returned from a run.

It was special, standing outside in that warm rain--Alia in her polka-dotted shirt and Oxfords,

 
but after a few minutes I wanted to go inside.  And then I was upset that the other children had run outside with bare feet, and when I put a towel by the front door, they didn't dry their feet very well, and there were leaves all over the rug I had just vacuumed, and I started to get a little testy.

Alia impersonated me for a moment: "You better not enjoy that rainstorm, kids!  We've got to keep this house clean! Come on, there are leaves everywhere!  No more having fun! Clean! Clean! Clean!"

I smiled.  She was right, but I was tired.  It had been a long day, and sometimes it's hard to move in circles doing the same thing while everything continues to get "undone."

So that's my little reality check.  Motherhood is great.  Life is great.  I just need a long nap.

Love,
April

Thursday Visits with Zoe, Family Photos, and a Sweet Reminder

For those of you who have asked for an update on my mom, I thought I'd post a few recent photos and let you know how things are going.  (Thanks for caring!)

One of my favorite things about this summer has been visiting my mom each Thursday.

Our visits are often filled with the same kinds of activities: going for walks, visiting in the courtyard, and playing games. 

Sometimes my mom is really happy--making lots of jokes and having a wonderful time with us--and sometimes she is discouraged and tearful.

We've learned to cherish those happy moments:

 

This past Thursday, I was in my mom's room with a couple of nurses, and we were talking about the family photos my sister-in-law Melanie had hung on the wall.  (Melanie was the photographer, and she is on the far right in the photo below).

This is almost all of us--minus a few dear cousins and in-laws who sadly couldn't make it that day.

Here are 19 of the 30 grandchildren:

Love these next two pictures:

And these are my parents, me, and my seven siblings.  From left to right: Ryan, Page, Lisa, Susan, Dad, Mom, Linda, Me, Laura, and Robert.

The following series of photos are precious to me:

(This is where Melanie asked my dad to kiss my mom for the photo.  My mom was so embarrassed, and every time my dad tried to lean in for a kiss, she would pull away shyly.)

This one is my favorite:

 

As I was telling the nurses about our family, one of them asked, "When were these pictures taken?"

"December." I replied.

She looked shocked and said, "Just this last December?"

I nodded, and then she looked to the other nurse, and I knew what they were thinking.  My mom has been declining rapidly.  Very rapidly.

We're all hoping mom will walk again, and we desperately want her to stay with us.  But the reality is that her dementia is getting worse, and the physical therapists can't get her to progress very well because she forgets everything she's learned.

We'll be getting her transferred home in a few weeks, and my sisters and I are coordinating a schedule of helpers so my dad won't be overwhelmed. 

I know we're not the first family to go through something like this, but wow, every step of this process is hard.

One sweet experience I'll share, though, took place when my husband and I were at the Redlands Temple for our church last week.  There's a beautiful room in each temple called the Celestial Room.  It's quiet and beautiful, and you can sit, pray, think, and listen.

While I was there, I said to the Lord, "I'm worried about my mom."

The sweetest, most peaceful feeling came over me, and I could hear in my mind the words, "You don't need to worry about your mom.  I am taking care of her."



That message has strengthened me this whole week.  Whenever I forget to breathe or start to tense up my shoulders as I think about all the hard things going on, I just remember that she's in God's hands, and He will help us.

I'm not sure why I feel compelled to share all these details here, but I hope that as I show what's happening in my life and share how the Lord is guiding me through it, I can help others to know He will do likewise for them.

Thanks for your friendship and for being with me through this.  I pray that you may feel the power of the Lord in your lives, as well.

Love,
April

Studio C - A Comedy Show Our Family ADORES

There's a fantastic comedy show called "Studio C" that's available for free online. Have you heard of it?  Our children love it, and we've watched every episode together as a family.

It's created by BYUTV, and since Eric and I are both BYU alums, we had to take our children on a tour of the studio while we were there.

This is the main floor of the BYU Broadcasting building--featuring some of their best shows:

We found out that the show is called "Studio C" because it's actually filmed in Studio C.  There is also a Studio A and a Studio B (but they don't have shows with those names).

This is the actual stage!  My children were thrilled to be there.

This is where they store their props:

And this was our awesome tour guide, Sean McGowan.  He spent an hour and a half with us--taking us through each part of the building and answering all our questions.  What a fun way to get children excited about the world of broadcasting.

We made this little video while we were there:

And then we went on a tour of a few other sets:

And got to see their high-tech truck:

This is the make-up room for the women featured on BYUTV:

And this is the green room:

Sean showed us room after room of screens and editing equipment.  Simply amazing.

This made us laugh.  (It says, "Please deposit $ .25 to continue . . .)

Another editing room:

I want a studio like this in my house someday.  Doesn't that look fun?

This is where they coordinate the music on BYU's classical radio station:

Each of these speakers is worth more than $25,000.  Oh, I wish I could go back to school and work in this building.  I majored in Communications at BYU, but we didn't have this back then.

This is a lovely lounge outside the music room:

And here we are, saying goodbye!  (Grace was at basketball camp, so she missed the tour, but we promised we'd take her next time!)

Click here to access BYUTV and see all the episodes of Studio C.

And if you want to see a few of our favorite Studio C clips:

This is the Shoulder Angel.  He literally climbs on the other actors' shoulders and transfers himself to others' shoulders without ever touching the ground.  It's one of our favorite sketches.



This one is INCREDIBLE!  He climbs up onto the president's shoulders while wearing handcuffs.

"I'm Fiiiiine!" is now one of our most common family phrases:


And this one about Facebook made me laugh:

Those are just a few we thought you'd enjoy.  The new season will be coming out soon.  We can't wait!!

Thinking About "Warrior Moms"

Tonight I recorded a podcast with one of my new friends, Jessee Stewart.  (We met at the Las Vegas Retreat.)

I'll be posting the recording in a few weeks, but in the meantime, I just wanted to share my gratitude for the "Warrior Moms" out there.

That term is used often by Glennon Melton at Momastery, but I also heard it from my friend Sarah Hull, who wrote a beautiful post on her blog about mothers who are warriors each day for their children, particularly those who have special needs.

Jessee's first daughter lived only three months.  She had a rare heart condition, and she was profoundly deaf and blind.  But when you hear how strong Jessee has become as she went through this huge trial (and how much she values deliberate motherhood), you can't help but feel touched.

Our conversation got me thinking about my sister Linda, whose son Austin has been in and out of the hospital throughout his entire life.  She wrote a post recently for Power of Moms about Austin's Tuberous Sclerosis Complex that you can read here, and yesterday she emailed the family to tell us that the Make-a-Wish Foundation is sending her, Austin, her husband, Brent, and her mother-in-law to Disneyland in September.  We are all praying that Austin will be healthy enough to make the trip.  I told my children about it today, and they are so excited for him.

I've also been thinking about this video I watched several years ago about a baby named Eliot, whose life has inspired millions--even though he only lived for 99 days.  (This is definitely worth the watch.)



As Jessee and I were talking tonight, the theme was "Cherish the Little Things."  That's something I'm working really hard at achieving.

Yesterday, Eric, Ethan, and I played Twister in the living room (at Spencer's request) while Spencer was the "spinner" and sat happily on the stairs.  It was hilarious.

Alia is assisting one of our cute neighbors with a cooking class she's teaching to 10 little girls. 

Every morning, Alia gets herself ready, packs up my red apron, and walks down the street for the class.  Then she comes home with a new recipe she wants all of us to try.

I'm taking each child on a special date this week to get a new pair of shoes and a few outfits for school.  When I took Ethan on Monday, he only wanted to look at the Legos.

 
Today was Spencer's turn, and Grace made me promise to text her pictures so she could offer her perspective on his wardrobe.  Here's a screenshot of part of our conversation:

Warrior moms inspire me to want to be better and to enjoy moments like this. I'm grateful for their voices, and I'm grateful for their examples. I know their burdens are heavy, but they are amazing, amazing women.  And they make a difference to me.

Much love,
Aprill

To Those Who Play Supporting Roles (Podcast)

I had a great conversation with Saren today--one that I really needed.  (We recorded it for our weekly radio show, and if you want to hear it, the link is at the bottom of this post.)

You see, my life doesn't feel like my own right now.  Maybe everyone feels that way, but I think this feeling is especially common with mothers.

We play supporting roles for our husbands, children, friends, neighbors, parents (and more), and sometimes it feels incredibly challenging to take care of our own needs and move forward on important projects because we're needed by everyone else . . . almost all of the time.

I kind of had to laugh because in the middle of the recording, Eric walked in the room and whispered, "Are you recording?"

I nodded yes, and then he got a little frustrated because he'd set aside time from his work to help me go pick up our van from the repair shop (the air conditioning had broken), and although I hadn't known exactly what his afternoon schedule entailed, my call with Saren went way longer than usual.

So there I was, trying to record a podcast about simplifying our lives and getting organized and putting relationships first--while my husband was downstairs waiting for me to get off the call and my children were needing their mama.

Needless to say, we kept the recording short.

The funnier part, though, was when Eric was looking through some of our computer files tonight, and he saw a reference to the topic of the podcast.

"Was your radio show about supporting roles today?"

"Yep." I replied.

He thought for a moment--reflecting on the interaction we'd had and all the grumpiness that followed--and then he smiled and said, "That's rather funny, isn't it?"

Oh, the memories we're making.

Click here to listen to the radio show!

Love,
April

Refocusing on the Definition of Success

I posted this snapshot to my Facebook page on Wednesday night,

and I included this caption:

Best visit EVER! Mom was so happy. We went on a walk, we had a great talk, and she happily went with the nurse when it was time for bed. So grateful.

I'm still on a high from that visit.

My mom was calm and cheerful most of the time--even though she wasn't quite sure what was happening or where she was.  (We passed her room as I was pushing her wheelchair down the hall, and when she saw "Z. Wilson" on the name plate, she laughed at how similar that was to her own name--Zoe Wilson--and said, "Isn't that funny?")

Since I'm recording my favorite moments here on this blog, I want to tell you about a conversation we had on our walk. 

Mom was in a pleasant state of mind, and I could feel that she was "there"--enough that I could share some of my deepest concerns with her and get some great advice. In the past couple of years, there have been so many times I've been in a quandary, and I've wished I could just call my mom and ask her what to do. 

Most of the time I can't, so when moments like this one pop up, I just start pouring out my heart as quickly as I can.

One of the things that is weighing heavily on my mind is how to best take care of my website (Power of Moms).

We are trying to coordinate our upcoming retreats right now, we're shifting our editorial calendar and communicating our vision with the more than 400 authors on our monthly call-out list, and we're in the middle of publishing two books, building additional online programs, producing our podcasts and radio show, and working on dozens of exciting projects. 

Organizing these projects and tasks is something I enjoy, and I do my best to keep everything straight, but even with an amazing co-director and a fantastic board of more than 45 other moms, this is a really big job.

And throughout this process, I want to be a great wife to Eric and a devoted, fun, deliberate mother to Alia, Grace, Ethan, and Spencer.

So I asked my mom what I should do when I feel like I'm not running my website as well as I think it should be run--because family life comes first, and it's often unpredictable, and I simply can't do everything I wish I could do.

She listened to all my concerns, and then she said, "April, the Lord doesn't measure your success based on your website. He measures your success based on how much you love Him."

Her words pierced my heart, and I immediately knew they were true.  There was nothing left to say.

I keep thinking about that advice, and yesterday, I went for a run on the beach by my parents' house: 

I sat for awhile at the end of the peninsula, reading a few scriptures from my phone, praying hard, and asking the Lord to help me to love Him more fully.

The responsibility still feels very heavy, but I've decided that I'm not going to try to "do it all." 

When I love God, and when I live the way He wants me to live, He speaks to me and shows me what to do.

That's not stressful at all.

I think I can do this. (Well, I know I can do this . . . with His help.)

Thanks Mom.


Much love,
April

Why I Was Afraid to Record a Podcast with Jon Acuff

In a post I wrote about a month ago (called "What Scares Me"), I referenced a great book called Start by Jon Acuff.

Then a couple of weeks ago, I was working on the computer while Eric was at some evening meetings, and I thought, "Maybe Jon would want to be featured on our Power of Moms podcast."

Immediately, that nervous/fearful part of my brain started sending messages like this:

• Jon is a best-selling author.  He's probably too busy.
• You'd probably be too nervous to do the interview.
• Don't even try this one.

But then that other part of my brain (that wants to punch fear in the face) replied with messages like this:

• Our Power of Moms podcasts are awesome.  I bet he'd love to take 30 minutes to be featured in front of our audience.
• And I've interviewed lots of best-selling authors: Richard and Linda Eyre, Julie Morgenstern, and Katrina Kenison. I can totally do this.
• I might as well try.  The worst thing he can say is no.

Without taking any more time to think about it, I located the contact form on his website and started typing an invitation.

The next day, I received an email from his assistant who wanted to schedule the recording.  I was elated.  (I even forwarded the email to my husband and my co-director, Saren, with an added, "SO excited!!!!!!!")

Now the podcast is up at Power of Moms, and I can't wait for you to hear it.  I didn't tell Jon how nervous I was, but after a few minutes, I felt totally fine, and I think the interview was wonderful. 

Jon is a great person--very personable, funny, family-centered, and encouraging.  If you don't know about him already, I'm glad I had the chance to introduce him to you.

And the advice in his book works.  See how he's already helping me to overcome my fears?

Go to the podcast page to hear my interview with Jon Acuff.