Someday Our Family Dinners Will Be Amazing

I've been thinking a lot about Family Dinner lately.

School is starting in just one week for us, and I keep thinking that this year, our dinnertime is going to turn out exactly as I've imagined it to be.

Alia is helping me to create a weekly menu and do the grocery shopping, I'm setting up a good morning routine where we can make dinner early (and avoid trying to prepare something during the "witching hour"), and I'm talking with Eric about how we can create fun and meaningful discussion topics each night--so we can teach our children on a daily basis, even in the midst of our busy schedule.

This morning as I was sorting my computer files, I found this article I wrote for The Sandbucket magazine a few months ago. (Have you heard of The Sandbucket? It's beautifully done.) 

I thought I'd re-post it here as a reminder that even when Family Dinner is a disaster, it's still worth the effort.

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We sat down as a family for dinner tonight. Curry chicken and potato wedges.

I was expecting it to be a lovely gathering, full of meaningful conversations, laughter, and maybe some hugs as we all thanked our 13-year-old, Alia, for the lovely meal she’d made.

Instead, we had an adventure that looked something like this:

The children argued over who got to sit by me.

They also fought over who had to sit on the bar stools.

Ethan gobbled up the potato wedges, but because the curry chicken didn’t appeal to him, he started coughing violently and insisted he couldn’t finish his meal.

The girls also coughed throughout the meal, but that was because they’d been home from school earlier in the week with fevers, and they were just starting to get better. 

Throughout the choir of coughs, our five-year-old, Spencer, cried because he didn’t want his potato wedges.  The crying only subsided when Ethan kindly snuck some away from him—to eat in place of his now-room-temperature curry chicken.

There were requests for more milk, some cranky discussions, and to be perfectly honest, I sat and stared at our table of chaos and wondered why on earth we ever tried to achieve the “ideal family dinner.”

But as I thought about it, the answer became more and more clear.

We don’t have family dinner because it turns out perfectly.  We have family dinner because it brings us together.

Sure, the eating process might border on insanity, but then a spectacular phenomenon starts to happen.

For example, tonight Grace turned on our favorite Kids Bop playlist, and the family danced together as we cleared the table.

We laughed together when I noticed I’d spilled food all over myself . . . again.  (This happens just about every day, and it’s totally embarrassing.)

Spencer asked if he could do his siblings’ dishwasher jobs in order to earn a “hand” for our special “Give-‘em-a-Hand” wall.  While he sorted silverware and stacked plates, we talked about his kindergarten “Barnyard Moosical” that was coming up and helped him learn to spell “E-I-G-H-T,” in preparation for his test tomorrow. 

Then Alia told us all about her choir concert coming up on Tuesday, and Ethan pulled out a puzzle he wanted to piece together after dinner.

Once the clanking of the dishes subsided, our family activities settled down to a low hum centered in our little family room.

My husband Eric started working on the edges of that puzzle Ethan had been so excited about, and Spencer lined up six colorful Hot Wheels on the ottoman so he could “drive them” before bath time.  I put my feet up and leaned back in the recliner, and Grace snuggled into my lap for kisses and arm tickles.  Alia opened her books and binder to finish up some school assignments—choosing to sit close to us while she worked.

Being a part of that scene reminded me of a framed quote hanging in our kitchen that reads,

“Having someone to love is family.

Having somewhere to go is home.

Having both is a blessing.”

This is why family dinner is so important.

I think we’ll do it again tomorrow.  

Do you do anything specific in your home to make Family Dinner work? 

Family Mission Statement T-shirts: The Final Product

For those of you who have read my previous posts, you know how excited I was about creating Family Mission Statement T-shirts this year to wear to family camp.  Our theme?  "Spreading love like butter on toast."   

I know these shirts are kind of cheesy, but I've had this "matching t-shirt" dream for the past 10 years, and now that I've got "Mind Organization for Moms" working for me, I decided to take this off my Someday list and make it into a Current Project.  

My sister-in-law asked me to post proof that my husband actually wore his shirt, so I've included plenty of photos below:

Not only did Eric WEAR his shirt, he helped MAKE them all!  Nothing says "hot" like a husband who irons.
  

Our children were literally jumping up and down with excitement as we ironed our fabric transfers onto the t-shirts.  That's why Eric was so willing to help.  He would never in a million years have made these shirts on his own, but he knew that it meant a lot to our kiddos.

As we got dressed in our little camp cabin that morning and headed up to breakfast, we felt so tightly bonded as a family.  

Here are the boys--remember how Eric got his own personalized shirt?  Instead of the "butter on toast" phrase at the bottom, his says, "I'm not a big fan of the family mission statement."  That's what I love about Eric.  He's always keeping it real.

Do you see how happy Spencer looks?  The next day as I was getting him dressed, he pleaded, "Butter on toast!  Butter on toast!"  But the shirt was way too dirty to wear again.

And here are the girls.  We like to match, but we never have anything to wear.   This was a fun moment for all of us.

Total cost for six Perry Family Shirts?  Eighteen dollars.  The experience?   Priceless.

We Made it to Grandma's

Yesterday my children and I made a 700-mile trip in our minivan in order to visit Grandma Peggy (Eric's mom).  Alia asked me lots of questions and quizzed me on Spanish phrases along the way so I wouldn't get tired.  

La tortuga camina lentamente.  (The turtle walks slowly...isn't that a great sentence to learn?)

There's this beautiful, tree-lined road leading up to Grandma's house, and the children begged to run the whole way.  Spencer had to run in his diaper because he had a huge diaper leak at the previous stop, but they were so excited that I couldn't say no.

Today has been an absolute vacation for me, thanks to Grandma Peggy, Aunt Jodi, Aunt Tara, and Uncle Marc.  I got to sleep in until 10:30 for the first time in YEARS, and we got to spend the whole day relaxing with the family.

Ethan (age 7) loves the sunsets here.  He said, "Mom!  You've got to come out here and see the sky!"

And then tonight, Aunt Jodi helped my children put blankets all over the trampoline, and they laid there forever, watching the distant lightening, listening to the thunder, and seriously enjoying their childhood (except when Ethan stepped on Alia's blanket, Spencer took Grace's pillow, and everyone kept bouncing too much).  I feel like I'm constantly saying, "Kindness!  In our family we speak kindly!"

I've got to get to bed now....  Tomorrow I drive up to Idaho with my dear friend Allyson (who I've only met in person twice, but we feel like we've known each other forever).  Two of my sisters (Page and Susan), Saren, and my freshman roommate, Shawna, are going to join us up there for the "Mom Track" of Education Week.  I've been looking forward to this since last summer.

My main hope is that this conference will be helpful to all the moms who attend.  I've done my best to make the classes conversational, so it's not me up there lecturing the whole time.  I know that as these sharp women come together to learn and lift each other, all of their families will be strengthened.

I'm going to try to blog a little bit each day while I'm there, so if you're dying to know all the details, check back!

Love,
April

Family Mission Statement T-Shirts...Take Two

I am REALLY excited about the family t-shirts we're making for Aspen Grove.  When I was taking family science classes in college, we learned that building family unity helps children feel connected to their parents and siblings (and helps them not look for acceptance elsewhere, in situations that might not be beneficial to them).

Even though we've tried to have fun family traditions over the past several years, I've been mostly in "survival mode," so I haven't had the frame of mind to make something like family t-shirts.  

So here are the templates we just made.  We're printing them onto Avery fabric transfer paper and ironing them onto white t-shirts this afternoon.  The children are as giddy with excitement as I am.  

First, this is the template for me and the children:

And now...here is  one for Eric.  He thinks our family mission statement is kind of crazy, so I told him I'd make a special shirt just for him!

Oh, we are going to have some fun.

Family Mission Statement T-Shirts...Take One

I have this dream of showing up at Family Camp this summer with matching t-shirts.  I'm still working on the style, fonts, etc., but here's my first attempt at a design--featuring our Family Mission Statement (which was totally written by our children).

It's funny because even though my children suggested this over and over again as our mission statement, I kept trying to make it more "professional."  Well, now we have a professional one all typed up somewhere, but the only one we can actually remember is THIS one!  I'm sure it will change over the years, but for now, this is our focus--spreading love within our family, to our neighbors, and to the world.  Just like butter on toast.