My "Standing Ovation" for David Allen's TED Talk

If you haven't yet watched this TED talk by David Allen, the author of Getting Things Done, it is absolutely worth your time. This blog post is my symbolic standing ovation.


I first heard about Getting Things Done from my friend Saren, who recommended it casually as a book I might enjoy.  I then saw it at the library the following week and picked it up--thinking I might glean an organization tip or two as I flipped through the pages. 

Well, that book flipped my organization/life management strategy upside down and gave me the tools and perspective I needed to accomplish way more in much less time (while enjoying my family in an un-distracted way that I'd only dreamed about).

I now teach GTD for Moms in a program called Mind Organization for Moms.  If you haven't checked it out yet, please do.  I LOVE this program and use it every single day.

Here are some of the key ideas from the TED talk above that really resonated with me:

• Appropriate engagement: Our goal isn't just to get a whole lot of stuff "done."  Our goal is to be appropriately engaged with our lives.  We want to spend the right amount of time on the right things--and not waste our precious hours procrastinating or being stressed out.

• NOTHING should be in our heads.  Writing each idea, project, and commitment on paper gives us space in our minds to be more creative, more productive, and happier overall.  Putting all those papers into trusted systems allows our minds to rest, and that opens the world to us.

• Sophisticated Spontaneity: Isn't that a beautiful term?  When our commitments and projects are clearly defined and put into a seamless system, we can then be that "spontaneous" person who runs off on a romantic getaway for a weekend or sits at the kitchen table for an hour playing Legos.  Our minds know what they are not doing, so there's no stress.  We'll just pick up where we left off.

• More time won't solve our problems.  We might think "just two more hours" will give us that peace and order we desire.  But more time (with our current disorganized systems) will just give us more "overwhelm and stickiness" (as David calls it).  Revamping our systems is the key.

GTD methods help us to eliminate "hurry" from our vocabulary.  We become the "Captain Commanders" of our lives.  We're able to give focused attention to what deserves our attention and we no longer have to try to think about everything at once. 

Each one of us has important things to do--within our own families, within our professions, within our communities, and within the world.  Getting a handle on our lives--including our emails, errands, tasks, projects, goals, and paperwork--is essential, and the GTD system is honestly the best one I know.

Thanks David Allen!

-April


Any additional thoughts or questions?

My Future as a Professional Dancer

I know it must seem a little cryptic as I talk about what's "really" been going on around here, but I promise I'll get to it (this post is a start). To most people, it wouldn't be that big of a deal,  but for me, it's been monumental. 

Basically, I feel like I've finally learned some key components to feeling genuinely happy about life.  I didn't even cry during my most difficult days this month (my husband was deeply impressed).

I feel optimistic, excited, comfortable with my weaknesses, yet motivated to be better.  I feel a greater desire to draw close to the Lord, and I hear His voice more often.  I'm dancing around my house and singing while I work (I haven't noticed myself singing for a couple of months).  My relationships with my husband and children are stronger, and I know that even though life isn't easy, it's an incredible experience.

Below, I've included a post that will be published on DeseretNews.com next Tuesday (and The Power of Moms sometime around there, as well).  It details my future as a professional dancer (not really . . ..  You'll see).  This blog is part of my "dance," so sometimes I'll post often, and sometimes I won't, but it's fun to write, and I appreciate you being here with me.

Love,
April




Dance Through Motherhood

 

Rarely does a story stick with me for 10 years, but this one (told to me by my friend Pam) has: One day, a boy walked into a room where an older man wearing head phones was dancing like crazy.  It was almost embarrassing to watch as he waved his arms, bounced his knees, and wiggled his body with incredible enthusiasm. The boy noticed a second set of head phones in the room, and since this man was obviously enjoying himself, the boy put the head phones on his own ears and tried to replicate what the older man was doing.

He shook his arms, bounced his knees, and attempted to wiggle his body exactly like this man, but after a few minutes, the boy got tired (and a little disgusted), threw the head phones onto the ground, and stomped out the door.  What was the problem?

He hadn’t turned on the music. 

Can you relate?
I often look around and see "perfect" mothers dancing it up, but when I try to recreate their "dance," I end up frustrated and exhausted, just like the boy with the head phones. 

If you're like me, you desperately need to dance.  There's something inside you that's itching to love your work, love your life, and spend your time doing what you were meant to do. 

Does that work with motherhood?  Yes it does--and since learning to dance and teaching others to dance is one of my main purposes in life, let's begin.

Part 1: Create your dance floor.

There's a reason why your Senior Prom wasn't held in the midst of a crowded warehouse.  You've got to have space to dance.  I've spent the past three weeks creating that space in my life, and for me, it involved de-junking my house (and creating a new system to keep it de-junked), spending some serious time doing Mind Organization for Moms, and building reliable (but not unattainable) systems into my life so the everyday routines and responsibilities aren't such a drain on my dancing energy.  For more on that, you can join our Mind Organization for Moms community, and I'll tell you all about it.   

Part of this dance-floor creation also involved letting go of unrealistic expectations I'd set for myself.  Anna Quindlen, in her book Being Perfect, describes it as "carrying a backpack filled with bricks every single day" (p. 11).  Let's unite here and unanimously agree to set these bricks down.

I'm not the type of person who ever wants to settle for mediocrity, but honestly, some things aren't worth stressing over (Saren has a great article on that HERE). 

Tonight, we've invited a family to our home, and the mother is a concert violinist.  My husband arranged for her to bring her violin so she could show our children how she plays it.  He also arranged for me to play a duet with her (me on the piano), and he'd like to videotape it for our children. 

I have been a mess all morning.  I'm not a concert pianist.  I've practiced this piece more than 50 times in the past month, but I keep stumbling over the last two pages.  I've rehearsed dozens of explanations in my head that I can use when I mess up.   I've even considered purposely draining the battery on the video camera so my embarrassment can't be recorded. 

But then I realized that it doesn't matter if I don't play as well as I'd like.  I'll enjoy the experience, smile when I make a mistake (or 40), and even let my husband videotape the experience so my children can know it's okay not to be perfect. 

"The perfect mother (the toughest of all the ideals to imagine!) makes other women feel like failures simply by showing up and showing off" (Quindlen, p.35).  We can help each other so much more by showing our imperfections (and how we try to improve them), than by trying to show everyone how perfect we are.  And letting go of this desire to be perfect at everything is giving me space to dance.

Part 2: Hear the music.
Head phones aren't necessary to hear the music of motherhood, but an open heart is.  Too many voices are out there screaming that women are oppressed by motherhood or that the life of a mom is boring, mundane, and only suitable for the uneducated woman who doesn't know any better.  That's simply not true.  It's just that the women who feel that way are trying to do the "head phone dance" without hearing the rhythm and melody that compels a woman to live and mother deliberately.

Our goal at The Power of Moms is to broadcast the music.  I think of the website as a radio station, playing songs meant to strengthen the hearts and homes of women who want to have an incredible motherhood experience. 

Reading and listening to resources from The Power of Moms, inspiring blogs, websites, books, movies, and other places, helps me hear the music every day--because I need it every day.  I also connect to God each morning and ask Him to help me hear what I need to hear.

The music isn't that hard to find, but just like a radio, you've got to be tuned in to hear it.

Part 3: Develop your core.
"Someday, sometime, you will be sitting somewhere.  A berm over-looking a pond in Vermont.  The lip of the Grand Canyon at sunset.  A seat on the subway.  And something bad will have happened: You will have lost someone you loved, or failed at something at which you badly wanted to succeed.

"And sitting there, you will fall into the center of yourself.  You will look for some core to sustain you.  And if you have been perfect all your life and have managed to meet all the expectations of your family, your friends, your community, your society, chances are excellent that there will be a black hole where that core ought to be" (Quindlen, p. 47-48).

I meet far too many women who say that the moment their last child starts first grade or leaves for college, they look around their empty house and say, "Now what?"  If our cores are not being nurtured from the start, there won't be anything left when we finally have the time to do something with it. 

I have to invest some time every day developing the person inside the mom, but that doesn't mean simply imitating what everyone else is doing because "nothing important, or meaningful, or beautiful, or interesting, or great, ever came out of imitations.  What is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."  (Quindlen, p.15)

I like to write.  I like to organize.  I like to study and learn and then teach others the ideas that have inspired me.  I like the energy that comes from gathering large groups of like-minded people together.  I like to help mothers change their thinking.  I like to do things that leave others feeling surprised and delighted.  That is how I take care of my core.

Anna Quindlen suggests this: "look, every day, at the choices you are making, and when you ask yourself why you are making them, find this answer: Because they are what I want, or wish for.  Because they reflect who and what I am."

Certainly, not every part of my life will be fun, but it will have purpose.  I clean bathrooms because I want a beautiful home.  I get up at 5:37 with my three-year-old because I want him to feel loved and cherished.  However, there are a thousand things I simply don't do because they don't reflect who I am.  I only post a blog when I have something specific to say--even though daily blogging is a "rule."  I don't sign my children up for lots of activities because it leaves me stressed and anxious, and I don't think that's the kind of mom they want to live with. 

When we live beautiful lives, reflective of who we are at our cores, we give the world a powerful gift.
Part 4: Dance with everything you've got.
Trying to conform to this image of what is perfect "requires a kind of lockstep.  Look at the word; imagine it in your mind's eye, the forced march of the fearful, the physical opposite of the skip and the jump.  Doesn't it sound like something to avoid at all costs?" (Quindlen, p. 35).

I've been in this lockstep for too long.

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of articles, books, programs, and breath-taking ideas inside me right now.  And as I looked closely at the cause of my recent angst, I could see that the pain of not dancing is driving me insane. 

I don't know the "right" way to blog or the "right" way to build a website that's destined to gather and strengthen deliberate mothers all over the world.  However, I know that I am much more valuable to myself, my family, and the world when I listen closely to the music and let myself dance. 

George Eliot said, "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

I'm starting again today.


QUESTION: What does it mean for you to "dance"?

CHALLENGE: Start today with Step 1 and begin creating space in your life that will enable you to live the deliberate live you've imagined.






Photo courtesy of Franciscus51 at Flickr.com  

I Have HOW Many Emails in My Inbox?

I don't know why organizing emails is one of my passions, but I really, really like the feel of an empty inbox, and I love helping busy moms create order in their minds and in their families. 

Yesterday I got the chance to guest post on 5 Minutes for Mom--a great community I've been a part of for the past few years.  You can see my email post for their "Tackle it Tuesday" column here.

 

Or you can click here to see it on our Deseret News Blog:

 

Okay, but now onto the REAL thoughts that are keeping me up at night.

I just found out the other day that one of our authors on The Power of Moms, Amanda Wilkinson, lost her 20-month old son on Saturday.  He passed away in the night, and they found him at 8:30 a.m. in his crib.  

I've never met Amanda, but my heart goes out to her and all the other mothers who lose their little babies.  My heart also goes out to those who get so caught up in work, TV, shopping, worrying, etc. that they don't enjoy the moments with the children they DO have (I can often be included in this group).

I stayed up late Monday night thinking, planning, praying, and trying to figure out how to best spend my 168 hours each week.  I love writing, blogging, building my website, and presenting at Retreats, but any project or activity I take on has to be VERY important because it uses up time that could have been spent with my children and husband.  

Today Spencer and Ethan wore roller skates more often than not, so I have little boys wheeling all over the kitchen.  The problem is that we only have one pair of skates, so they keep fighting over who gets them.  

Grace passed her 7s in multiplication, and she was SO excited to tell me all about it.  She also made dinner all by herself tonight as part of her "Faith in God" project at church.  The smile on her face as she punched the bread dough into the counter was priceless (too bad the camera memory card was full).

Alia and I worked for several hours on her science project Friday night, and while we printed, cut, and glued her poster together, we talked all about growing up, goal-setting, and fun family stories.  I can't believe she's 11.

So I'm going to finish organizing my emails tonight, finish listening to the State of the Union address I missed last night, and then I'm going to do some more "hard thinking" and figure out what I can do to live a life with no regrets.

Any advice?

A Trigger List for Moms and Dads

This is a guest blog post I've put together for GTD Times...the majority of the posts there are for business professionals, but I think moms need the system even more.  
 

A friend of mine came to visit when my first child was three months old.  Noticing I was still actively using my day planner, she joked, "What do you write on your task list, 'Cook and Clean?'"

She wasn't trying to hurt my feelings, but her question reflected an assumption that many people have about those who spend the majority of their waking hours taking care of little ones...that they're not actually "doing" anything.

I've spent 10 years as a full-time mom, and let me assure you that taking care of a family is a huge responsibility.  It's a party some days, a train wreck other days, but it's the most important thing I've ever done.  I've created a Mom-and-Dad-friendly "Trigger List" to help parents see what types of things they can organize with GTD. 

Let the fun begin:

• Books to read together as a family
• Holiday traditions to create more unity
• Recipes that can be made with lots of "help"
• Lullabies to learn on the guitar
• Parent/Child date night ideas
  
• Promises I've made to my children
• Promises I've made to my spouse
• Family service projects
• Neighbors we'd like to know better
• Family Vacations
• "Quiet Time," family-friendly websites
• Free community events
• Family day-trips
• Errands to run when I'm by myself
• Errands to run when I've got lots of company
• Volunteer opportunities with the PTA
• Birthday party gifts to keep on hand
  
• Fun birthday party games and ideas
• Good behavior incentive programs for my children
• Job charts/housework plans
• Shopping lists (pre-printed, organized by store)
• Sports for my children
• Home de-junking plans
• Cultural experiences to calendar
• Great mentors for my children
• Items to discuss with my children's school teachers
• Holes in the wall to repair
• Family fitness goals
  
• Clothing to mend
• Clothing needs (did they grow out of that already?)
• Ideas to make nap time happen regularly
• Parenting books to read or classes to take
• Journal entries to record (so I don't forget how cute my children are)
  
• Doctor and dental appointments to make
• Character traits I want to develop as a parent
• Character traits I want my children to develop
• Home decor ideas
• Play date ideas
• Crafts that won't leave my kitchen sparkling with glitter
• Family memories to create so my children will always remember how much I loved them

The list can go on and on, but way I see it, I have two options:

Option 1:  When my children turn two, I can say, "Look, Honey!  This is called a TV.  It's going to take care of you for the next 16 years!"

or

Option 2:  I can be an involved parent.  I'll certainly take time, occasionally, to watch great programs on television, but I want more than that for my children. 

I want to be the kind of parent who thinks big.  I want to bring inspiring books into our home, bake 23 different kinds of bread, visit historical landmarks, tour the world's museums, help families living in poverty, teach my children about history and politics, create a family of incredible photographers, and bike 12 miles together on Saturdays. 

All of this used to overwhelm me.  Of course I can't do everything I imagine, but I can do a lot of those things--if I'm organized. 

Getting Things Done isn't just about "things."  It's about people, about relationships, and about creating a lifestyle that most people think they can't achieve. 

Our family has improved dramatically since I implemented GTD into my life--not just because I'm less stressed about running my business and managing the home, but because I now see a clear path to turning my dreams of a strong, healthy family into my reality.  

(For my mom-friendly version of GTD, please check out our Mind Organization for Moms program at The Power of Moms.) 




What kinds of things would you like to organize into your life?  Can you help me add to this list?

Getting Organized for the First Day of School

I just submitted this as a possible guest post to GTD Times, so I thought I'd post a copy of it here, as well.  Why I do things like this at 1:00 in the morning, I'm not quite sure....

The first day of school started out great.  My three oldest children dressed in their new clothes, laced up their new shoes, ate a healthy breakfast, and then headed off to school with homemade sack lunches and brightly-colored, fully-stocked pencil cases.  I felt like a wonderful mom.

They returned home seven hours later, happy but tired, toting folders overflowing with paperwork, and that's when MY work started (I mean...continued).  As I shuffled through more than 50 sheets of fliers, forms, and date-specific notices, I started to feel a little dizzy.  The pile on my counter harbored a LOT of information, most of which needed my attention right that minute.  I was tempted to break into tears or bury my head in a carton of Rocky Road, but then I thought, "Wait a minute.  I've been trained in Getting Things Done.  I was MADE for situations like this."  

Within 30 minutes, the papers were completely processed, and I was ready to move on with our evening.  And since I had such a glorious experience with my paper party, I thought I'd share some ideas that might help other moms manage the near-constant influx of papers that comes flying from their children's backpacks.

Shall we begin?

Step #1: I did a quick initial sort, pulling everything out of the pile that belonged in the trash.  That was actually half the pile, since all three of my children received identical copies of each handout (maybe they'll go digital someday?).  By removing the trash at the beginning, the remaining stack looked much less daunting.

Step #2: I went through the stack again and processed everything that would take two minutes or less.  I typed the teachers' email addresses into my Contacts list, noted the date of the school's 5K, and recorded all of the holiday breaks onto my calendar.  That eliminated seven or eight more sheets of paper.  

Step #3: I gathered all the sheets I wanted to keep for reference (bell schedules, classroom rules, details about the school exercise program, etc.) and put them immediately into my filing cabinet in a clearly-labeled folder...just in case I need to find them quickly in the future.

Step #4: I made a decision on the school picture order form and then wrote a reminder on the next day's calendar page to order the photos online (doing so enabled me to receive a few extra photos free of charge.  Wasn't that a nice of them?).

Step #5: I got out my Next Actions list and recorded the three extra school supplies my daughter needed in the "Errands" context.  

Step #6: I spread out all nine of the emergency cards and a few extra forms on the table, and my children and I filled them out together.  They wrote their names, address, phone number, etc., and then I added a few additional pieces of information and my signature.  

That was it!  Piece of cake, right?  There's no need to stress when you're a "black-belt" at paper processing.

There was one little boy in my daughter's Kindergarten class a few years ago whose mother NEVER emptied his backpack.  I'm serious.  Every morning, he came to school with a bulging backpack--full of paperwork that had been piling up for months.  I knew his mom a little bit, and I don't think she was trying to be neglectful.  I think she just felt overwhelmed with her own paperwork and problems, and unzipping a backpack of "stuff" would have thrown her over the edge.

I feel like part of my mission in life is to help the moms of the world to get organized.  It takes some work, but it's not that complicated, and the basic ideas presented in Getting Things Done (and therefore, Mind Organization for Moms) have the power to make life much, much easier--whether it's the first day of school or simply the first day of the rest of your life.

Mind Organization for Moms is Doing its Job

Right now I'm sitting on the couch with Spencer--still in my exercise clothes (though I haven't exercised yet!), trying to finish up some work on Mind Organization for Moms.  There are toys and pillows and blankets and fingerprints EVERYWHERE, but I will get to them in a minute.  This is important...and there are about 7 minutes left on "Dora," so I've got a little window of time to write.

Over the past three months, hundreds of moms have given Mind Organization for Moms a try.  I've received some excellent suggestions and feedback (so a new and improved version is coming out in two weeks), and I've read dozens of exciting emails from moms who are noticing a distinct change in their lives as they're getting organized.  It's a wonderful feeling to know that the hundreds of hours I've poured into this program are actually making a difference out there.

If you'd like to read a few inspiring testimonials, click HERE.

Until September 1st, we're offering the entire program free to moms who share The Power of Moms with 30 friends.  Want to read one of my FAVORITE emails?  Here you go:

So recently I had "one of those days" (actually it seems I can make that statement at the end of most days lately).  It was one of those days involving a teething baby, seven other children running in and out of my house, my daughter decorating her face with peanut butter, piles of dishes and loads of laundry screaming to be done, three cups of apple juice spilled (consecutively), realizing that two of my three toilets look scary (understatement), finding a very overdue medical bill, etc.  I could go on, but why?  This is nothing new to any of you.  

This scenario probably sounds incredibly familiar, and I can almost guarantee that each off you have days that EASILY top this one.  Now, I am not complaining (ok, maybe a little).  I like to think of it as venting.  I feel very blessed that I even have my sweet children, access to yummy peanut butter, and even nasty toilets to use.  

The reason I am sharing this recent frustrating day with you is that I found a few red flags have been popping up in my mind lately.  I feel like I am running a million miles an hour, but in a million different directions.  At least if I were running that fast in one direction, I would be getting somewhere.  However, I am not and as a result am falling further behind in life with . . . everything (oops).  

So while I am not loving this situation, I have just kind of taken the attitude of "I just need to get through this day".  Huge mistake, but I did not realize what a big mistake it was until lately.  My "getting through," survival-type mindset has taken a toll.  I have been grumpier with my husband 

(just ask, or . . . maybe don't), less patient with my kids, losing my love of motherhood, and feeling very stuck.  

So, am I sharing all this just for kicks?  Nope.  I am certain that there are a million other moms out there that feel this same way and there is no reason to stay "stuck".  

My husband tried introducing me to a book called Getting Things Done and while I loved much of it and feel it has a lot of worthwhile information, I needed something more mom specific.  Then a miracle happened, and I found this wonderful site called "The Power of Moms" and . . . they took the Getting Things Done book and made a mom-friendly version of it.  YEAH!!!  Someone loves me.  

I love this website.  It offers the kind of support ever mom needs: sharing frustrations, sharing solutions, sharing great ideas, sharing ways to love motherhood, and sharing how to grow yourself as a mom.  I think I may get unstuck.  They even have a newsletter they send out, "Question of the Week," and "A Monthly Value".  

I love this because I think it will help me to grow and feel more connected to other moms and myself (which is something I have kind of lost lately).    

I really do not want to have to grin and bare it through these next several years of motherhood and feel like I am doomed to never grow mentally, spiritually, or emotionally.  

I am hoping that if you are in need of something like this site (and my money says you are), that you will take the time to check it out and feel a little more motivation in motherhood, not give up on yourself, and reignite the love of the lifestyle we have chosen.  I really hope you enjoy it.  Here is a link:  http://www.powerofmoms.com/

Thanks for reading my novel (it's my first one)!

I LOVED this email.  It totally made my day.  Not because this mom is struggling, but because she's finding that there is hope.  I know there are millions of moms out there who need hope.  They're feeling tired, frustrated, angry...you name it.  I get that.  I feel it sometimes, too, but because I've learned how to deal with those feelings, they don't get the best of me. 

Now I just need to figure out how to take this hope out to all the mothers in the world.  If you have any ideas, please share them!

Okay, Dora is over.  I think I'll get cleaning!  And, as my friend Susan says, "Make it a great day!"

Guest Post on GTD Times

Are you tired of your refrigerator looking like this?

I completely understand.  I used to have dozens of items stuck to my fridge, but once I read Getting Things Done by David Allen, all that changed.

The secret to a clear refrigerator is the tickler file.  I'm so in love with it that I wrote up a guest post for David Allen's blog, GTD Times, and it posted this week.

Click here to see it.

A couple of months ago, we (at The Power of Moms) released version one of Mind Organization for Moms--an online program based on David Allen's book.  It's designed to help moms get their papers, tasks, goals, and ideas organized into a system that will help them finally enjoy their families.

We've got hundreds of mothers using the system, and version two will be coming out in the next month or so (most likely once the children are back in school).  Exciting!

I can't say enough about the GTD system.  It's seriously incredible, and it has enabled me to juggle more than ever before while still feeling somewhat on top of things.  The best part is that I am enjoying my husband and children more now than ever before.  You can't put a price tag on that.

If you're interested in trying out Mind Organization for Moms, we're still offering it free of charge to anyone who shares the site with 30 friends.

Your brain AND your refrigerator will thank you....