Friday, April 5, 2013

Update on My Mom

We've had a lot of ups and downs around here lately as my mom has been recovering from her hip surgery, but things are looking up now, and I can't tell you how happy I feel about that.

(Thanks so much for all the kindness you have extended to me.  I have been deeply touched by you, my dear friends, who have reached out to support me during this time.  It means the world to me.)

While I'm spending time with my mom and taking care of my children during Spring Break, I haven't been online very much, but I wanted to post a few photos and at least provide a little update on my sweet mother.

This is my mom's room at the rehabilitation center (Grace and Alia drew pictures to liven up the place a bit):


During my first two visits to see her (before the doctors adjusted her medication), she was asleep most of the time and couldn't carry on a conversation.  I just sat next to her while she dozed, and I held her hand.  It was still heaven.

Grace took these photos of us and got a close-up here:

The boys play checkers or other games on the iPad during my visits.  They've been so good, but I'd love to hear what you would do with two little boys when you're in a small space like this (we pack Hot Wheels, Legos, books, snacks, and coins for the vending machines).

 I let Ethan practice his photography the other day while he and Spencer ran around the courtyard:

Photo of Spencer by Ethan.  Love these boys.

Grace, Alia, and I play songs on the piano to entertain the residents.  One day, my mom played "Blue Moon" for my sister, but she hasn't been in a piano-playing mood while I've been there.  She did sing with me yesterday, though!

Mostly I just try to give my mom lots of hugs and kisses.  For about a week's time, I thought I was losing her, and the pain I felt was so much worse than I imagined it could be.  I've been crying way too much, eating too much chocolate, procrastinating projects, and trying to figure out how on earth I am going to keep going once my mom leaves this life.

Yesterday, she had a great day.  She was alert, smiling, standing up without assistance, and eating her lunch all on her own (we've been feeding her up to this point).

During a quiet moment in the courtyard, after we'd finished our lunch and the boys had gone inside to play, I told her what a mess I've been. 

"Mom, last week I thought I was going to lose you, and I was falling apart.  I was crying all the time, and I was so worried.  I just don't know what I will ever do without you."

What happened next was a tender mercy from the Lord.  It was a beautiful experience that I don't want to forget.  It wasn't so much what she said, but it was what I felt as she was speaking.  She was totally "there" during our conversation, and I could tell that she understood what I was going through and how much I needed her words of comfort.

She got a little choked up and said, "April, I love you, and you don't need to worry.  I will always be with you. Always.  If I need to get a message to you, the Lord will help me to do that.  And you must remember that there is going to come a day when we will all be together forever."

I sat with her in the sunshine for a few more minutes while we held each other.

Then the boys needed something, so I wheeled her back inside, and we got on with our day.

I don't know how long I will get to have my mom with me (I'm requesting 20 more years), but this woman is my inspiration.

Grace captured this beautiful photo of my mom. 

I wish each of you could meet her in person, feel her light, hear how she talks about God, and see how she really, really knows Him.  

I love her so much.




  1. April, you provided the first tears of the day :) What a sweet post. I am so glad that you had that tender experience with your mom that will always be cherished and will get you through many hard days. I can not imagine being in this position. I am the oldest of 4 and my mom was young when she had me so seeing you having the opportunity to care for an aging parent is such a model of charity and goodness. WIth love - Danee

    1. Thank you Danee. I love it that your mom is young and healthy and that you have lots of time with her! And you are such a devoted mother. Keep up the great work!

  2. I agree that your mom is an amazing woman and she does seem to have a gift of words at the right moment. You are all in my prayers everyday. Hugs from Wilma

  3. Thanks for sharing something so sacred. I know with my grandparents there were moments when they were really "there" and those became such treasured moments. She is a blessed woman to have you as a daughter. Hang in there!! xo

    1. Thanks Rachelle. Love you! Can't wait to see you next month.

  4. Oh April, your compassion for your mother, your love for her is truly inspiring. What a tender exchange you shared. Her words felt absolutely true. You will have her for forever. What a sweet blessing. I love you. Sending strength and prayers with all you have to do. xo

  5. Sweet April. Wish I could give you a big hug. What a wonderful moment that was when she told you what she did. I know that must have been very comforting to you.
    My sister, Reba, suffered from Alzhiemers Disease as well, and It was so difficult for all who loved her to watch. I always felt she knew what I was saying, but was like a prisioner in her own body, and couldn't respond. They are the sweetest, most loving people in the entire world. I love you and your sweet Mom and family. You were all such good examples to Dick and I and our family when we all lived in CA.

  6. I am a random blog follower who has never commented, but I wanted you to know that thoughts and prayers have and will continue to be sent your way. Creating these memories will be so precious and priceless to you, regardless of the amount of earthly time you have left with your sweet mother. You are a beautiful example of faith and hope, and it shines in your countenance (even through your blog!) As an observer, I think you are doing a wonderful job of balancing your time with your own family and with your Mom. Keep on keeping on! You are amazing.

    1. Thanks so much for your kind comment and for your prayers. Things have been improving for my mom, and we're hoping she'll be home by Mother's Day. I so appreciate the support of friends I've never even met. It means a lot.

  7. April, this post meant so much to me personally. I believe your mom that our mothers can continue to get messages to us through the veil. In the ten years since my mother passed away, I haven't always known how "close" she is, but since becoming a mother myself, I've realized that I would NEVER leave my son behind. I have been thinking about you a lot lately and praying for you and your mom!


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