What on earth are we thinking?

Saren and I had a "Power of Moms" phone call this morning that I just had to write about.  She was in the car with her husband and five children, driving to Bear Lake for an Eyre Family Reunion, and I was running circles around my kitchen, trying desperately to carry on a normal conversation while I juggled way too many things at the same time.

We feel absolutely compelled to run this organization while we are "in the trenches" of motherhood so we know what it is that moms are going through, but sometimes we wonder what on earth we're doing.  Part of our conversation went something like this:

SAREN: Okay, so I absolutely agree that we need to do a better job reaching out to a more diverse group of moms...guys, shhhh.


APRIL (while wiping counters): Yes, let's start working on those ideas we've been emailing back and forth.  Do NOT take those bubbles into the living room.  Outside.  Bubbles go outside.  And what do you think about our new Power of Moms Author?  Spencer, don't jump on Lucy's tail!  (Spencer is my two-year-old, and Lucy is the dog we're babysitting for the week).  Yes, Ethan!  I love what a good job you're doing taking care of the dog.


SAREN: Yeah, I think the author is great!  Her message is something that I think resonates with moms everywhere.

APRIL: Sorry Saren---hold on a second, someone's at the door.  Oh, hi!  (It's our friends, the dog owners). Thanks for dropping off the dog dish.  Have fun on your trip!  Okay, I'm back.  Did you get a chance to read the Mind Organization for Mom edits yet?

SAREN: No, I haven't yet.  It's been really busy these past few days, and I've been totally exhausted at night.  I'll get to them as soon as I can.

APRIL (now folding clothes from the dryer): Oh, don't worry about it.  I'll have some more edits in a few days, and you can read them all at once.  Arrggh, the dog just came running in the house with mud all over her feet.  Ethan, get a towel and clean that up, okay?  Alia, it's not time for computer games right now.  You've been really patient, and I'll be off in a minute, but please don't ask me while I'm on the phone.  No, Grace, I'm not sure if we're going swimming today or not.  It's kind of cloudy.  We'll talk about it in a second, okay?.  Saren, are you still there?

SAREN: Yes...someday we're going to look back on these days and wonder how we got anything done. How about we end for now so you can spend time with your children, and we'll talk for a few more minutes later this week?

APRIL: Okay, sounds good.  Talk to you later.

We normally try to schedule our phone calls around nap times or quiet times, but today was one of those days we just had to talk about a few quick things, and there weren't any big chunks of time when our schedules overlapped.  We're both trying extremely hard to put our families first, set firm boundaries around our Power of Moms work, and make the best decisions possible regarding the progression of the site.  It just feels nearly impossible sometimes.

I just had a great phone call this evening with one of our Power of Moms Trainers' husbands (did that all make sense?), and he gave me tons of exciting tips on how to improve our website and our ability to reach more moms.  I wish I could just snap my fingers and make it all happen, but I know it will...with a little work each day, squeezed into whichever minutes I can spare.  I can't tell you how grateful I am for all the good people who are volunteering their time to make this site something wonderful.

My husband and I had a talk this evening (while I was at the height of the day's frustrations...making dinner, cleaning up the wet swim towels, drafting a letter to a Power of Moms mentor that had to be finished by 6 p.m., answering dozens of questions from very tired children, and wiping smeared watermelon off the tile), and I asked him, "Why am I doing this?  Even when I'm organized, I still have to juggle.  What if our children grow up and think I was so busy helping other people be good moms that I never had time to be a good mom?"  Seriously, that's a question that goes through my mind every day.

It's times like that when my husband gives me a hug, tells me that everything will be all right, reassures me that I'm doing a good job with our family, and says, "Someday they'll know why you were doing all this.  They'll see what you built, they'll know how much you love them, and they will understand all the sacrifices it required."

I think that advice applies to every mom who is trying hard to build a stronger world.  If we're careful about how we spend our time, if we're prayerful about the choices we make, and if we make sure we take every opportunity to love our family members, we'll all be the better for it.

So on that note, I'm going to sleep.  I've got to get enough rest so I won't be cranky again tomorrow....