How The Perry Summer Camp Brought Us Together

Today was Day One of our Perry Summer Camp.

Following the Loosli's example, my older children contacted a bunch of our friends through flyers, Facebook, email, and personal invitations and invited their children to our home for a three-day summer camp (9 to noon each day).

I must admit that I was a little nervous.  We had quite a large group of children, and I wasn't sure exactly what Alia, Grace, and Ethan planned to do for the whole time in our relatively-small home.  But they kept saying, "Mom, we have everything under control."

And they did (for the most part).

For the past few weeks, they've been making spreadsheets and schedules, brainstorming ideas for crafts and snacks, and talking about all the children they hoped would come.

The girls made a little shopping list for me, and Alia and I picked out the supplies Saturday night during a 10 p.m. excursion to the store.

Alia and Grace made homemade play dough (Alia's favorite recipe!), Ethan and I swept the backyard, and we all joined together to remove everything breakable (or distracting) from our downstairs area.

Then Alia wrote the schedule on a white board, Grace counted out Dixie cups for the water station, and Ethan got the bouncy balls set up on the trampoline.

We put step stools in the bathrooms, made sure we had plenty of clean hand towels and toilet paper, got our laundry done early (since today is typically laundry day), and set up little stations where the children could play with wooden trains or plastic balls and rain gutters if they got bored.

When I tucked the children in last night, they were so nervous.  But I could see the excitement in their eyes.  It was like Christmas, except this time they were Santa Claus.

At 9 this morning, our little friends arrived, and Alia gave each of them a name tag and a group assignment (lions, pandas, or snakes).

We did science experiments, play dough (with only a little getting on the carpet), outdoor games, sidewalk chalk, snack time, water play . . ..  Our home has never been this busy.

Of course there were a few unexpected situations that arose (tomorrow we're having one person solely assigned as the bathroom helper), and keeping track of everyone's shoes was a little tricky, but our guests were so well-behaved--and seriously darling.

We're all excited to see each other again tomorrow.

After the last friend left, we all collapsed on the couch.  (Even four-year-old Spencer.)  And then we spent the rest of the day talking about how much fun we had.

Everyone pitched in to vacuum, take out the trash, replace the towels in the bathroom, and prepare the snacks for tomorrow.

Grace put together an art lesson and made sure that everyone will have a crayon for each color of the rainbow.

And now I have four exhausted children sleeping in their beds.

I wanted to take the time to type out the details because I don't want to forget this feeling.  There's something amazing that happens when a family works together on a project.

We were a real team today.  We needed each other.

Alia got a couple of emails tonight from moms who wanted to express their thanks.  She was so excited to read them to me.

This is one of the best parts of motherhood--to see how good my children feel about themselves when they accomplish something hard.

And I want to keep these good feelings coming.

What kinds of things have you done with your family (either now, or growing up) that bring a sense of unity and purpose?  We'd love some additional ideas.

And now I'm off to bed.  We've got a busy day tomorrow!

Do We Need a Dog?

My family wants a dog.

I like dogs, but I am perfectly happy appreciating the cute pooches that belong to other people.

The other day, I jokingly said, "Maybe I'll think about getting a dog when Spencer can go 100 days without having a tantrum."

Within five minutes, Alia had whipped up a little chart to hang on the fridge.

(He has actually gone several days without a tantrum, but I stole the chart from the fridge, hoping the children would forget about it.)

From what I hear, though, every child needs a dog.  Dogs are protectors.  They are loyal companions.  They are darling and fun.

All I can think about is the additional mess I will have to clean up.

But I do really want to create a wonderful family environment, and if a dog needs to be a part of that, then I'm willing to consider.

So please, will you let me know your thoughts on this?  Does every family need a dog?

Our Power of Moms Book is SO Close.

This is what my computer screen looks like right now:

We have been working on this book for The Power of Moms for more than 18 months, and it is 99.99% done. 

It's just that this last .01% takes way longer than I anticipated.  But it's coming, and it's so worth it.

I keep getting choked up as I'm doing the editing.  The stories shared by our 60 authors are simply beautiful.  They remind me that motherhood is incredible, they encourage me to keep going, and they help me to see into the lives of other deliberate (but normal!) mothers who are making their families strong and wonderful.

I have hope for the world when I read a book like this.

Can't wait to share it with you!  Then we can talk all about it and share our favorite parts and let it change the world through how we live what we learn.

Just wanted to share the excitement! If you want to read a few excerpts, you can click this link: Deliberate Motherhood, the book.

Love,
April

Two Must-dos When Raising Teenagers

My oldest child is 12 1/2 (as of this past weekend), so I have six months until I'm officially the parent of a teenager.

But I don't want to wait until then to start thinking about how to navigate these new waters.  (I've been hearing how hard it's going to be ever since I was a teenager myself.)

I'm working on an article right now where I'm compiling all the best advice I've ever heard about raising teenagers (and asking readers to share their best ideas), so I asked my almost-teenager/recent-elementary-school graduate for her thoughts on the matter. 

Here's what she said:

(1) You need to know your teenager better than ever before.

Know what frustrates her.  Know what she's excited about.  Know her favorite music, how she likes to do her hair, and what's happening with her friends.

(2) Give your teenager extra responsibilities.

There comes a point when children don't want to be treated like children anymore.  They want to prove they're useful and get the chance to do hard things.  Even small things, like asking Alia to get some ice and extra towels at the motel, meant a lot to her.

I thought those two points were very insightful.  And I'm working on them. I really want to do this well.


Do you have any tips or ideas about raising teenagers that you'd like to share?

Never Giving Up

I'm over at The Power of Moms today with a post called "Six Reasons to Never Give Up on Motherhood."


Our house is full of summertime right now . . .. We have piles of books from the library, towels and swimsuits drying in the backyard, lots of dishes in the sink, baskets of laundry waiting to be folded, paint brushes and artwork scattered across the table, and schedules full of spontaneity (and a little structure).

It's a sweet, busy (and sometimes frustrating) time, and I feel like I'm writing and working in bits and snatches. But this post about never giving up is one that burned its way out of me, and I'm hopeful the ideas can be helpful to someone. 

I also hope it can generate some good conversations that can better enable us to learn from each other.  (That's my very favorite thing about The Power of Moms.)

Much love,

April

My Little Brother's Wedding

My "little" brother Ryan got married in the Los Angeles Temple (of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) on Saturday, and Eric and I had the privilege of attending. 

 

We were actually married in the same temple 13 years ago, so it was an extra sweet day.  (Grace took this nice photo from the back of the temple.)

  

My mother, after 53 years of raising eight children, is finally an "empty nester." When I reminded her of that, she said, "But I don't want to be.  I want my children all around me, staying the night, making cookies, going to the park . . . I miss all of you."

I loved spending the day with her.

Here's a photo of Ryan and his wife, Cassie, right after the wedding.  Ryan found the most darling bride.  I'm so excited to have her as my sister-in-law. 

 

 

Weddings in the temple are fairly small (about 50 guests attended this one.)  Many of my friends at the reception wanted to know more about what happens during a temple wedding, so I thought I'd explain a little bit about it here.

In our church, we believe that the temple is literally the House of God.  It is very sacred to us, and those who enter need to be members of the Church in good standing (meaning that our actions reflect the principles we believe).

A temple wedding is actually referred to as a temple "sealing," which means the couple is sealed together for time and all eternity--not to be separated by death.

Ryan and Cassie were sealed in a "sealing room," which looks similar to this:

They knelt across the altar, and a person who holds the authority was able to talk with them for a few minutes about their marriage covenants and then perform the ceremony.  This takes just a few minutes, and the wording of the ceremony is beautiful--pointing us toward the most meaningful, purposeful parts of our lives.

If you'd like to read more about temples, this link is a good one.

Here are the three men in my family: my dad and my brothers Ryan and Robert.

 

We spent some time taking photos after the sealing, and I've included a few of them below.

Here's Cassie and Ryan . . . with my mom and dad and Ryan's seven siblings:

 

The happy couple with my mom and dad:

"Just the 10 of us." 

Almost all of us:

And this is one of my favorite photos EVER.  Growing up with five sisters and two brothers was heaven to me.  It still is.

Here are the grandchildren who were there that day. 

This is me and my sister Page.  She's 18 months older and about 4 inches taller, but sometimes our children (and friends) get us mixed up. 

 

After the sealing, my husband and children and I spent a few minutes in the Visitor's Center across from the temple.  (It's open to the public.)

I've always loved this beautiful Christus:

And they have some new exhibits that help teach the importance of family:

This section focused on serving others:

I was amazed at this photo of a newly-dug well.  Simply incredible.

There was also a lovely "living room" with wonderful, touching videos about family life.

Here is a brief video of one of the other exhibits I loved:

I loved the entire day at the temple and Visitor's Center.  It reminded me of how much God loves His children--all of them.  And I felt so peaceful as I contemplated what it is that God wants me to become.

We teach our children the principles we believe, but we encourage them to sincerely study and learn about others' beliefs, as well.  We know that God does His work through people of all religions, and as we grow in mutual respect for one another, we are more fully able to serve God. 

I have lots more photos from the day, but I'll just post two more.

One of my favorite moments of the day was at the reception, when I looked over and saw Ryan dancing with my mom.  I don't know why it struck me so much, but seeing my sweet, 76-year-old mother dancing with her very last child touched my heart.

I just think about the number of hours she and my dad have spent raising us.  They have honestly devoted most of their lives to our family.  I had to run over and snap this photo:

 

I really love my family.  And I'm so grateful for the time we were able to spend together this past weekend.  (Welcome to the family, Cassie!)

When You Dare to Dream

I'm feeling excited this week . . . particularly for my friend Whitney Johnson, whose thoughtful, remarkable book, "Dare, Dream, Do" has launched online and in bookstores around the nation. 

I was privileged to receive an advance copy of the book (a section of my "Mommy is a Person" post was published in it), and I have been reading a little bit each night.  "Wow" is all I can say.

 

Whitney has been on our Advisory Board at The Power of Moms for the past couple of years, and I learn so much by watching her.  We've only met once,

 

but when I read her blog (Dare to Dream), and as I read the wealth of information in her book, I somehow feel like she really knows me.  

Whitney understands that desire we each have to become our best selves, to try hard things, and to consider that perhaps the "pie in the sky" ideas we've been pushing to the side actually need to happen.

One quote from this book that I love says this:

"God calls you to the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."  -Frederick Buechner

That is exactly how I feel about my work strengthening families.

Another quote included from The Maiden King says, "For thousands of years, a powerful voice was a mark of personhood.  The longer the person stayed in the underworld (plunged to the depths of sorrow, for example), the more powerful the voice."

Sometimes I feel like I've been "in the underworld" for years.  It's a beautiful underworld--full of 2 a.m. feedings, the sweet chatter of babies, and volumes of precious experiences--but now that my youngest is starting kindergarten in the fall, I can see how incredibly challenging it has been.  

So many mothers feel like this.  They have so much to say, so much to write, so much to offer the world.  But they have to hold back for the sake of their families and wait for the right time to tell their stories.  

My planner is full of little notes and ideas that are just waiting to be shared, and as I ponder the quote above, I am excited to think that all the long hours of working, thinking, praying, and waiting have actually strengthened my voice.  And now that my time is opening up a bit more, I'll be able to "emerge as a powerful voice for change in the world" (p.25 Dare, Dream, Do).

All of us can do this.

So thank you, Whitney--for caring so much about the women around you that you would be willing to put together this book of insight, wisdom, and encouragement.  

And honestly, if you haven't yet ordered your copy--this book is well worth the read.

Love,

April