I'm over at Deseret News today with a post called "It's Not the Play-Doh I Love."
Today is our LAST day of summer break, so we're off to play for a bit. (Why does school always start as soon as we get into a great summer routine?). It will be nice to have a little more quiet around here, but I've fallen in love with my children all over again, and I am already tearing up at the thought of them advancing to the next grade. This is one of those rites of motherhood I need to learn to savor.
Love,
April
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
BlogHer 2011 - My First Time!
This past Friday and Saturday, I took a trip down to San Diego to attend the 7th Annual BlogHer Conference, where 3600+ bloggers gathered for informative sessions, fabulous networking opportunities, delectable food, and a lot of fun. I've been hearing about this conference for years, but only recently have I felt like a part of the blogger crowd (something I never really intended, but which has become a happy stroke of serendipity).
My mind is WHIRLING after all I've experienced, and I'm still playing catch-up from being gone, but I had to take a minute to record what I've learned and share just a tiny bit of the vision I've been privileged to see this weekend.
I'll start with a few photos, share some of the main themes of the conference, and then I'll explain what I'm going to do as a result of this incredible time with BlogHer.
First, the photos.
My point-and-shoot never quite recovered from its recent dunk in the toilet (long story), and my big camera was frustratingly heavy, but here are the images I DID capture:
This is the entry hall at the San Diego Convention Center. Heart beating fast.
Me and Gretchen:
The Sails Pavillion where we gathered for mealtime (and even got to watch a flash mob that broke out during lunch).
It was a joy to meet Morra Aarons-Mele (left) and, of course, spend time with my dear friend (and BlogHer roommate!) Chrysula Winegar (right), whom I've only met once before, but who has become a treasure to me as we've worked on The Power of Moms together. Chrysula is our Director of Social Media and Marketing, and we LOVE her!
A huge highlight of my trip was meeting Stephanie Nielson, of Nie Nie Dialogues. I've been following her blog for years now, and she absolutely radiates love and beauty. There is so much I want to learn from her, and we're hoping she'll be able to keynote at a Power of Moms Retreat in the near future.
These photos only represent the very tip of the BlogHer iceberg, but hopefully they provided you with the basic idea.
Now I'll move on to the main themes of the conference.
In order to see all the classes and speakers, you can look check the BlogHer website, but these are the underlying themes I sensed there:
(1) Blogging allows each of us to have a voice. BlogHer encourages women, particularly, to share their passions and perspectives, teach what they know, and enable their voices to match their influence.
(2) Blogging fosters powerful conversations. There was a HUGE variety of interests represented at the conference--people blogging about pets, food, social issues, books, fashion, motherhood, politics, travel, entertainment . . . it was quite overwhelming, but what I loved was that there was no "wrong" topic. As each of us write about the topics most dear to our hearts, and as we engage respectfully in conversations with those who are different from us, we develop compassion and understanding, which flows into every other aspect of our lives.
(3) Online communities can unite to create change in the world. I will NEVER underestimate the power of a group of committed individuals. Twitter, Facebook, and blogs might easily be lumped into the category of "mindless wastes of time," but not if they're used well.
(4) Brands are very interested in working with bloggers to promote messages and products and receive feedback from their target markets. I spoke with representatives from some of the largest corporations in the world, and it was powerful to see how solid companies, well-connected bloggers, and some creativity can yield fantastic results.
The people from King's Hawaiian bread were there, for example, with new packaging supporting breast cancer awareness. My children love these rolls, and were so excited that I brought some home.
The Johnson and Johnson company recorded interviews with bloggers on how they are using social media to do social good. You can see mine here if you'd like.
There were also dozens of fun booths set up, like the one by Hot Wheels that featured their new wall-mounted tracks. Brilliant.
(5) Although the Internet is still a relatively new frontier, the tools we have available to us today make it simple to raise our voices online. (Right now I'm on my backyard swing, typing on an iPad while my boys wrestle on the trampoline.) It's not easy to balance all I am doing with the needs of my family, but I've never felt so compelled to do so.
And now, here's what I plan to do as a result of my experience at BlogHer:
(1) Reach out. I don't want to spend my life on the computer, but I do want to invest some time and energy into building relationships with the amazing people out there. Wow, my eyes have opened.
(2) Write as much as I can, as well as I can. I know not everyone wants to read what I write (and that's okay!), but my commitment to families and motherhood can be a blessing to others, and I feel a responsibility to do my part.
(3) Build Power of Moms' offerings. We are in an interesting spot at The Power of Moms because we are both a brand and a blog. Saren and I have huge plans to grow this organization, and while we won't put it before our families, we are doing everything we can to work smart so we can reach these goals and make a difference.
I've written this blog post in bits and snatches, and now all my children are tucked in bed. I missed them terribly while I was gone, but now that I've told them all about BlogHer, they want to come with me as soon as they can. Alia and Grace, especially, are excited about building their blogs, and they want me to teach them everything I've learned. It's darling.
Goodnight!
My mind is WHIRLING after all I've experienced, and I'm still playing catch-up from being gone, but I had to take a minute to record what I've learned and share just a tiny bit of the vision I've been privileged to see this weekend.
I'll start with a few photos, share some of the main themes of the conference, and then I'll explain what I'm going to do as a result of this incredible time with BlogHer.
First, the photos.
My point-and-shoot never quite recovered from its recent dunk in the toilet (long story), and my big camera was frustratingly heavy, but here are the images I DID capture:
This is the entry hall at the San Diego Convention Center. Heart beating fast.
Here is the first panel I attended, featuring four talented women, including Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project and Brene Brown at Ordinary Courage. (I need to do a separate blog post on this panel--it was wonderful!)
Me and Gretchen:
The Sails Pavillion where we gathered for mealtime (and even got to watch a flash mob that broke out during lunch).
Friday evening, I joined several energetic, darling women who have been part of the ONE Mom Project, and we watched an advance copy of an ABC news clip that aired later that evening.
It was a joy to meet Morra Aarons-Mele (left) and, of course, spend time with my dear friend (and BlogHer roommate!) Chrysula Winegar (right), whom I've only met once before, but who has become a treasure to me as we've worked on The Power of Moms together. Chrysula is our Director of Social Media and Marketing, and we LOVE her!
I also need to post a photo from my hotel window (it's kind of torture to be in such a beautiful place when you're spending all your time in artificially-lit conference rooms, so I soaked in as much as I could get).
A huge highlight of my trip was meeting Stephanie Nielson, of Nie Nie Dialogues. I've been following her blog for years now, and she absolutely radiates love and beauty. There is so much I want to learn from her, and we're hoping she'll be able to keynote at a Power of Moms Retreat in the near future.
These photos only represent the very tip of the BlogHer iceberg, but hopefully they provided you with the basic idea.
Now I'll move on to the main themes of the conference.
In order to see all the classes and speakers, you can look check the BlogHer website, but these are the underlying themes I sensed there:
(1) Blogging allows each of us to have a voice. BlogHer encourages women, particularly, to share their passions and perspectives, teach what they know, and enable their voices to match their influence.
(2) Blogging fosters powerful conversations. There was a HUGE variety of interests represented at the conference--people blogging about pets, food, social issues, books, fashion, motherhood, politics, travel, entertainment . . . it was quite overwhelming, but what I loved was that there was no "wrong" topic. As each of us write about the topics most dear to our hearts, and as we engage respectfully in conversations with those who are different from us, we develop compassion and understanding, which flows into every other aspect of our lives.
(3) Online communities can unite to create change in the world. I will NEVER underestimate the power of a group of committed individuals. Twitter, Facebook, and blogs might easily be lumped into the category of "mindless wastes of time," but not if they're used well.
(4) Brands are very interested in working with bloggers to promote messages and products and receive feedback from their target markets. I spoke with representatives from some of the largest corporations in the world, and it was powerful to see how solid companies, well-connected bloggers, and some creativity can yield fantastic results.
The people from King's Hawaiian bread were there, for example, with new packaging supporting breast cancer awareness. My children love these rolls, and were so excited that I brought some home.
There were also dozens of fun booths set up, like the one by Hot Wheels that featured their new wall-mounted tracks. Brilliant.
(5) Although the Internet is still a relatively new frontier, the tools we have available to us today make it simple to raise our voices online. (Right now I'm on my backyard swing, typing on an iPad while my boys wrestle on the trampoline.) It's not easy to balance all I am doing with the needs of my family, but I've never felt so compelled to do so.
And now, here's what I plan to do as a result of my experience at BlogHer:
(1) Reach out. I don't want to spend my life on the computer, but I do want to invest some time and energy into building relationships with the amazing people out there. Wow, my eyes have opened.
(2) Write as much as I can, as well as I can. I know not everyone wants to read what I write (and that's okay!), but my commitment to families and motherhood can be a blessing to others, and I feel a responsibility to do my part.
(3) Build Power of Moms' offerings. We are in an interesting spot at The Power of Moms because we are both a brand and a blog. Saren and I have huge plans to grow this organization, and while we won't put it before our families, we are doing everything we can to work smart so we can reach these goals and make a difference.
I've written this blog post in bits and snatches, and now all my children are tucked in bed. I missed them terribly while I was gone, but now that I've told them all about BlogHer, they want to come with me as soon as they can. Alia and Grace, especially, are excited about building their blogs, and they want me to teach them everything I've learned. It's darling.
Goodnight!
Friday, July 15, 2011
When Someone Believes in You
My husband came home for lunch today, and I was telling him all about what Saren and I are doing with The Power of Moms. Our book is coming together (oh, the editing is quite a process, but it IS coming!), our videographer did an amazing job capturing the essence of our April Power of Moms Retreat, which we're now putting into an online multi-media program for the site, our second "Entitlement Trap" webinar is on Tuesday with the Eyres, we've got great podcasts scheduled, our board members are doing amazing things (providing quality content, helping us develop a Power of Moms store, reaching out to bloggers, and running the everyday needs of the site), and we have a Couples' Retreat coming up in September--plus lots of other exciting developments and activities I can't list.
Then we started talking about the "big" stuff--our Australian tour we're planning for March, the PR efforts Saren and I are working on, and our goals to reach the millions of moms who need to be a part of this organization.
That's when I start to shrink.
It all starts to feel so big, and although I want this organization to grow into what it needs to be, I have this innate tendency to want to keep my life small and controlled.
I'm getting outside of that mentality, though, because when someone believes in you, you feel like you can do anything.
My husband is definitely my biggest cheerleader. Earlier this week, I said, "I have a little meeting tonight to discuss PR with one of our new board members."
He challenged me. "A little meeting? There's nothing little about what you're doing here. Are you going to have a powerful meeting where you're going to design an effective program to take The Power of Moms to the world, or are you not?"
I wanted to get angry with him, but he was absolutely right. And so I did (okay, I did my best--I'm still not great at this). With the help of our wonderful board, and all the moms in our community, this organization is going to grow.
Today at lunch, he said, "April, you're shaping the world. Why is it so hard for you to believe in yourself? You and Saren are teaching true principles about the power of motherhood--and you're working with a power that is greater than you. What holds you back?"
I sat on the stairs, put my head in my hands, and said, "I don't feel like a world leader. I feel like the mom who hasn't showered yet today."
"Have you showered yet today?" (Honestly, could he not tell?)
"No," I smiled.
"Well, then, you are the mom who hasn't showered yet today. But most of the time, you do shower, and sometimes you're the mom who's all dressed and ready to go, speaking to women at Retreats, helping them see how powerful they are. Right? Don't underestimate who you are."
How can I not be strong after hearing all that?
And then there's my children. They are my next biggest cheerleaders.
Alia and Grace have been working on their blogs, and they wanted to be sure to have our Power of Moms button on their sidebars.
Click here for Alia's Ideas, and click here for Grace's Place.
They even made me special jewelry to wear to the Power of Moms Retreats:
I feel so blessed to have their support.
And, of course, there's my own mom and dad, my siblings, and Eric's family--plus my website partner Saren and her whole family, who have been extremely supportive and involved from the beginning.
The reason I'm posting all this is because (1) I want to explain that none of this comes easy to me, but I do it because the people I love believe that I can do this. And (2) I want you to know that I believe in YOU. I have absolute confidence that those who want to create strong families, live up to their full potential, and make a difference in the world have the power within them to do it.
And even if you don't feel like you have anyone who encourages you to accomplish what you were made to do, all of us have God. And He believes in every one of His creations.
Dreaming big and going after those dreams is a scary thing. But scary is good. Just join with me as we step outside our comfort zones--and believe.
Then we started talking about the "big" stuff--our Australian tour we're planning for March, the PR efforts Saren and I are working on, and our goals to reach the millions of moms who need to be a part of this organization.
That's when I start to shrink.
It all starts to feel so big, and although I want this organization to grow into what it needs to be, I have this innate tendency to want to keep my life small and controlled.
I'm getting outside of that mentality, though, because when someone believes in you, you feel like you can do anything.
My husband is definitely my biggest cheerleader. Earlier this week, I said, "I have a little meeting tonight to discuss PR with one of our new board members."
He challenged me. "A little meeting? There's nothing little about what you're doing here. Are you going to have a powerful meeting where you're going to design an effective program to take The Power of Moms to the world, or are you not?"
I wanted to get angry with him, but he was absolutely right. And so I did (okay, I did my best--I'm still not great at this). With the help of our wonderful board, and all the moms in our community, this organization is going to grow.
Today at lunch, he said, "April, you're shaping the world. Why is it so hard for you to believe in yourself? You and Saren are teaching true principles about the power of motherhood--and you're working with a power that is greater than you. What holds you back?"
I sat on the stairs, put my head in my hands, and said, "I don't feel like a world leader. I feel like the mom who hasn't showered yet today."
"Have you showered yet today?" (Honestly, could he not tell?)
"No," I smiled.
"Well, then, you are the mom who hasn't showered yet today. But most of the time, you do shower, and sometimes you're the mom who's all dressed and ready to go, speaking to women at Retreats, helping them see how powerful they are. Right? Don't underestimate who you are."
How can I not be strong after hearing all that?
And then there's my children. They are my next biggest cheerleaders.
Alia and Grace have been working on their blogs, and they wanted to be sure to have our Power of Moms button on their sidebars.
Click here for Alia's Ideas, and click here for Grace's Place.
They even made me special jewelry to wear to the Power of Moms Retreats:
I feel so blessed to have their support.
And, of course, there's my own mom and dad, my siblings, and Eric's family--plus my website partner Saren and her whole family, who have been extremely supportive and involved from the beginning.
The reason I'm posting all this is because (1) I want to explain that none of this comes easy to me, but I do it because the people I love believe that I can do this. And (2) I want you to know that I believe in YOU. I have absolute confidence that those who want to create strong families, live up to their full potential, and make a difference in the world have the power within them to do it.
And even if you don't feel like you have anyone who encourages you to accomplish what you were made to do, all of us have God. And He believes in every one of His creations.
Dreaming big and going after those dreams is a scary thing. But scary is good. Just join with me as we step outside our comfort zones--and believe.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
What I Learned When My House was Quiet
I feel like a new person after spending the last day and a half really thinking. My brother and sister-in-law were kind enough to take Spencer to their home for a couple of days, and Eric took our older three children to see his side of the family for the weekend, which left me in my house by myself for the first time in 12 years. Our house was so QUIET, but it was a wonderful chance to take a little break.
Although I did miss everyone terribly, I've learned some valuable lessons (which I'll briefly share here since I poured my heart out in the last post, and I don't want to leave you hanging).
(1) Being a mom is very busy. This is another one of those obvious lessons, but until I sat in a quiet house all by myself, I didn't realize how much time I spend talking with and caring for my children. My oldest three aren't home yet, but here's what's happening with my little guy:
Spencer wants to admire each dandelion he picks from the backyard: "See, Mommy! See how this one is all closed up. And this one is tall. And these three go together." He points out that the brown Hot Wheels car is his favorite, and it looks the coolest when it rolls next to the white one. He doesn't like how the reduced-fat string cheese tastes. He gets scared if he plays in his room alone, and he can't figure out how to get his sandals on the right feet. This boy has got a lot to say!
Yesterday morning, right after I picked him up, he sat in my lap and held his cheek against mine. We shared a closeness that I've been missing for several weeks, with all our travel and summer activities. "Mom, I want to be with you for a big long time," he whispered. I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, and the top of his head. Then I told him that I, too, want to be with him for a "big long time."
The talking, kissing and loving is part of what makes motherhood so busy. I haven't valued that enough in the past, so I'm going to start (again).
(2) This time with young children is a gift. One of my questions from the last post was how much a young mom should do. Part of that answer is that I should only do what can be done in the hours I've allotted for "extra" stuff. (I know . . . isn't that obvious, too?) I always try to cram in "one more thing," and that's not the way to live.
Even though it feels like I move too slowly with the work I feel compelled to do, that's good enough. These years are going too fast, and I will just have to trust that the Lord will help me work quickly and effectively in the time I have.
Making time for family scripture study,
cherishing the sweet excitement on their faces when we spend time together,
and watching my children find joy in life's simple pleasures are just three of the things I love about motherhood (among thousands).
It's just a matter of evaluating priorities and figuring out what is most important at this specific time in my life. (Which isn't easy, but thankfully we're focusing on "The Power of Priorities" next month at The Power of Moms.)
(3) Breathing is good. I'm not very good at breathing, in general. I hold my breath way too much. However, this weekend I've made it a point to slow down and breathe between activities. I sat on the couch and read some articles I'd been wanting to get to. I ate my lunch on the porch with Spencer and enjoyed the shade of our tree. Moving at a fast pace, even when my intentions are good, isn't sustainable (or healthy), so I'm going to make sure I breathe deeply and often.
(4) The best way to be helpful is to keep moving and keep listening. I read an article called, "Start Moving" that had the exact advice I needed:
To those of you who are waiting upon the Lord for guidance in your lives--who need help with a major decision or question--I give you this challenge: Prayerfully and carefully use your own intelligence and your own resources to choose a path that seems right to you. Then become anxiously engaged in walking that path. When the time for course correction comes, He will be there to help you and to guide you.
Isn't that beautiful? I'm already on a path that seems right to me, and though I don't feel that I am exactly where I need to be yet, I'm going to pay close attention to opportunities that come to me, and I'm going to listen carefully for further instructions. If I'm consistently asking how I can be helpful each day, I have no doubt that I will achieve that goal.
Time to read stories with Spencer! Thanks for listening, and if you have any other advice or ideas, please share. I appreciate it.
Love,
April
Although I did miss everyone terribly, I've learned some valuable lessons (which I'll briefly share here since I poured my heart out in the last post, and I don't want to leave you hanging).
(1) Being a mom is very busy. This is another one of those obvious lessons, but until I sat in a quiet house all by myself, I didn't realize how much time I spend talking with and caring for my children. My oldest three aren't home yet, but here's what's happening with my little guy:
Spencer wants to admire each dandelion he picks from the backyard: "See, Mommy! See how this one is all closed up. And this one is tall. And these three go together." He points out that the brown Hot Wheels car is his favorite, and it looks the coolest when it rolls next to the white one. He doesn't like how the reduced-fat string cheese tastes. He gets scared if he plays in his room alone, and he can't figure out how to get his sandals on the right feet. This boy has got a lot to say!
Yesterday morning, right after I picked him up, he sat in my lap and held his cheek against mine. We shared a closeness that I've been missing for several weeks, with all our travel and summer activities. "Mom, I want to be with you for a big long time," he whispered. I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, and the top of his head. Then I told him that I, too, want to be with him for a "big long time."
The talking, kissing and loving is part of what makes motherhood so busy. I haven't valued that enough in the past, so I'm going to start (again).
(2) This time with young children is a gift. One of my questions from the last post was how much a young mom should do. Part of that answer is that I should only do what can be done in the hours I've allotted for "extra" stuff. (I know . . . isn't that obvious, too?) I always try to cram in "one more thing," and that's not the way to live.
Even though it feels like I move too slowly with the work I feel compelled to do, that's good enough. These years are going too fast, and I will just have to trust that the Lord will help me work quickly and effectively in the time I have.
Making time for family scripture study,
cherishing the sweet excitement on their faces when we spend time together,
and watching my children find joy in life's simple pleasures are just three of the things I love about motherhood (among thousands).
It's just a matter of evaluating priorities and figuring out what is most important at this specific time in my life. (Which isn't easy, but thankfully we're focusing on "The Power of Priorities" next month at The Power of Moms.)
(3) Breathing is good. I'm not very good at breathing, in general. I hold my breath way too much. However, this weekend I've made it a point to slow down and breathe between activities. I sat on the couch and read some articles I'd been wanting to get to. I ate my lunch on the porch with Spencer and enjoyed the shade of our tree. Moving at a fast pace, even when my intentions are good, isn't sustainable (or healthy), so I'm going to make sure I breathe deeply and often.
(4) The best way to be helpful is to keep moving and keep listening. I read an article called, "Start Moving" that had the exact advice I needed:
To those of you who are waiting upon the Lord for guidance in your lives--who need help with a major decision or question--I give you this challenge: Prayerfully and carefully use your own intelligence and your own resources to choose a path that seems right to you. Then become anxiously engaged in walking that path. When the time for course correction comes, He will be there to help you and to guide you.
Isn't that beautiful? I'm already on a path that seems right to me, and though I don't feel that I am exactly where I need to be yet, I'm going to pay close attention to opportunities that come to me, and I'm going to listen carefully for further instructions. If I'm consistently asking how I can be helpful each day, I have no doubt that I will achieve that goal.
Time to read stories with Spencer! Thanks for listening, and if you have any other advice or ideas, please share. I appreciate it.
Love,
April
Friday, July 8, 2011
Summer
This post has been percolating in my mind for quite awhile--mainly because so much is happening that I'm not quite sure how to encapsulate it into one post. Those of my friends and family members who keep track of me through my blog have been emailing me and asking, "Are you okay?" (Because when I go quiet, it's either because I'm really busy or really struggling. In this case, it's both.)
The best way I can think to sum it up is in three sections:
Here are a few things I've been doing with The Power of Moms:
A fun interview with Sonia at Happy-Go-Baby. Sonia is part of our Mind Organization for Moms community, and she's been working on a darling website with "creative, unique, practical" baby items. I love seeing how this program helps moms move their projects forward. Yay, Sonia!
This recent article at Deseret News: How to Let Go of a Lot of Things a Little Bit (where I tell all about the snags in my carpet, the hole in my ceiling, and the time we taped our car together).
A podcast about balance--recorded on a day I never took a shower, cried to my husband for 15 minutes, and took TWO naps.
Work with our board of moms (who I couldn't live without) as we keep the site running, expand our offerings, network with other bloggers . . .. These ladies are some of my dearest friends. I need to do a whole post explaining how they're changing the world.
A Power of Moms Retreat, which needs a whole post of its own. My new friend Rebecca Walters took some amazing photos there that captured the beauty of the small-group discussion format, and I feel like I made dozens of new friends--women I truly admire and want to be like.
Here's a photo of Saren and me. I am very, very grateful to have her as my friend and business partner.
Here are a few things I've been doing with my family:
A much-needed vacation to Aspen Grove Family Camp in Utah, where we met up with seven other families who went to school with us in Boston. We also stayed an extra week and visited with my husband's family, Saren's family, my sister Page's family, and some other great friends we haven't seen in years.
The Library Summer Reading Program. We have a darling librarian here named Nancy who makes our trips to the library magical. My children love her and read their stacks of books with gusto.
Housework. Our house is a happening place during the summer. It's hot outside, so we stay indoors a lot, which means there is plenty to do to keep our home feeling "clean enough to be healthy, messy enough to be happy." My children have been organizing, mopping, vacuuming, scrubbing, "picking up," helping with the cooking, playing with Spencer, and just spending lots of time with me (which I acknowledge won't be the case in a few years). We're becoming better friends, and I love it (but I also need a little break once in awhile because the constant action is a little exhausting).
Development. My husband went to Office Depot the other day and found some incredible CD-Roms on the clearance table. Typing software and building-design software were just a dollar each, and my children (8, 9, and 11) LOVE them! We found out that our library has a "Mango Languages" program for free, as well, and it teaches our children to speak Spanish. I've also been working with my children on their "Summer Goals" (also another post I want to write), which has been such a blessing to our family (except that I haven't quite coordinated the goal-tracking sheets yet, so they're more like "Summer Ideas" at this point.
Swimming, jumping on the trampoline, visiting friends, going to the park . . . being kids. I had a good talk with my friend Elizabeth yesterday, who has been a foster mother for years and has lived through circumstances I can't even fathom. Some of the children she works with have been victims of all kinds of abuse. She said, "I feel so good when I can see my children playing and 'being kids' because not every child has that chance." I know it's a blessing for my children to get to enjoy their childhood.
The best way I can think to sum it up is in three sections:
- What I've been doing with The Power of Moms
- What I've been doing with my family
- The two main "life questions" I have, and how I'm trying to figure them out
Here are a few things I've been doing with The Power of Moms:
A fun interview with Sonia at Happy-Go-Baby. Sonia is part of our Mind Organization for Moms community, and she's been working on a darling website with "creative, unique, practical" baby items. I love seeing how this program helps moms move their projects forward. Yay, Sonia!
This recent article at Deseret News: How to Let Go of a Lot of Things a Little Bit (where I tell all about the snags in my carpet, the hole in my ceiling, and the time we taped our car together).
A podcast about balance--recorded on a day I never took a shower, cried to my husband for 15 minutes, and took TWO naps.
Work with our board of moms (who I couldn't live without) as we keep the site running, expand our offerings, network with other bloggers . . .. These ladies are some of my dearest friends. I need to do a whole post explaining how they're changing the world.
A Power of Moms Retreat, which needs a whole post of its own. My new friend Rebecca Walters took some amazing photos there that captured the beauty of the small-group discussion format, and I feel like I made dozens of new friends--women I truly admire and want to be like.
Here's a photo of Saren and me. I am very, very grateful to have her as my friend and business partner.
We also got to hear from Courtney Kendrick, who truly inspired us with some readings about family and motherhood.
LOVE the Retreats! (Have you been to one yet?) We're currently planning a Couples Retreat in September and full "mom" Retreats in October, November, and January--plus an Australia tour in March 2012 (more on that below in section #3--I've never even had a passport, and I'm feeling REALLY excited and REALLY nervous about flying around the world).
A much-needed vacation to Aspen Grove Family Camp in Utah, where we met up with seven other families who went to school with us in Boston. We also stayed an extra week and visited with my husband's family, Saren's family, my sister Page's family, and some other great friends we haven't seen in years.
The Library Summer Reading Program. We have a darling librarian here named Nancy who makes our trips to the library magical. My children love her and read their stacks of books with gusto.
Housework. Our house is a happening place during the summer. It's hot outside, so we stay indoors a lot, which means there is plenty to do to keep our home feeling "clean enough to be healthy, messy enough to be happy." My children have been organizing, mopping, vacuuming, scrubbing, "picking up," helping with the cooking, playing with Spencer, and just spending lots of time with me (which I acknowledge won't be the case in a few years). We're becoming better friends, and I love it (but I also need a little break once in awhile because the constant action is a little exhausting).
Development. My husband went to Office Depot the other day and found some incredible CD-Roms on the clearance table. Typing software and building-design software were just a dollar each, and my children (8, 9, and 11) LOVE them! We found out that our library has a "Mango Languages" program for free, as well, and it teaches our children to speak Spanish. I've also been working with my children on their "Summer Goals" (also another post I want to write), which has been such a blessing to our family (except that I haven't quite coordinated the goal-tracking sheets yet, so they're more like "Summer Ideas" at this point.
Swimming, jumping on the trampoline, visiting friends, going to the park . . . being kids. I had a good talk with my friend Elizabeth yesterday, who has been a foster mother for years and has lived through circumstances I can't even fathom. Some of the children she works with have been victims of all kinds of abuse. She said, "I feel so good when I can see my children playing and 'being kids' because not every child has that chance." I know it's a blessing for my children to get to enjoy their childhood.
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| Alia is officially 11 1/2 today, and she is like "Mommy #2." Spencer told his Sunday School Teacher, "Alia takes care of all of us." |
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| Spencer took this photo of Grace in our backyard, and I loved seeing her from his perspective. She is a sweetheart. |
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| My nephew (left) came over for a couple of days, and he and my boys jumped on our trampoline for about 12 hours--sometimes with the hose, sometimes with water balloons, and sometimes just with the giggles. (Spencer wanted to wear his floatee-suit out there.) I love those boys. |
And now . . . if you've read down this far, here are the two main "life questions I have, and how I'm trying to figure them out:
(1) How much should a young (I'm 33--that's still young, right?) mother of young children do?
I've always considered myself to be good at prioritizing and "not scheduling too much," but goodness, now that my children are growing up and my website is reaching so many moms worldwide, the options to "do" are overwhelming.
For example, I'm dying to meet Felicity and Naomi, two friends in Australia who are helping to plan our Retreat there in March. Saren and her mom and sister might be going, and I don't necessarily "need" to go, but my husband is encouraging me to do so, and I know I would love the opportunity.
That's one of the bigger decisions I'm weighing, but there are also lots of little ones. I want to take photography classes with Alia and Grace, work on Cub Scouts with my son, and read all our "baby" books to Spencer before he doesn't like them anymore. I have video footage of one of my Mind Organization presentations ready to be uploaded to the site, I'd like to write as a special contributor to CNN, and I'd like to create the five new programs Saren and I have been brainstorming.
I wrote about doing the things that can only be done now back in this post, but lately the lines seem to be blurring as to what needs to be done now and what can wait.
(2) How can I be most helpful?
In my talk with my friend Elizabeth that I mentioned earlier, she told me about her hard, hard life growing up. She wasn't complaining--just sharing her history and explaining why she now takes care of so many children (some adopted, some foster children)--even though she's 65 years old.
Her grandmother was a maid for a family in Florida, and she had to go to work each week, leaving four children under the age of 10 (Elizabeth included) home alone most of the time, and only returning on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. She'd give the children a dollar for bread and syrup, and they would take care of themselves in a house that didn't have a stove, a bathroom, a heater . . . anything. That's just the start of her story.
I hear experiences like that--along with stories about children and families worldwide who are struggling, and they pierce my heart. I can't focus on things like home decor, shades of nail polish, abs of steel, or gourmet cupcakes because there is something deep inside me screaming, "DO something."
I have an education, a home, a husband I love, four healthy children, food to eat, and a platform where I can communicate with thousands of women . . . what am I doing with this life and the opportunities I've been given?
I'm taking today to really think. I'm thinking about my current projects and goals, thinking about the family and future I want to create, and doing my very, very best to hear God. That's the only answer that really brings me confidence: Listen to God.
Our church has temples around the world, where we can go to learn about God's purposes for us. I've heard the temple referred to as the Lord's University, and today I'm going there to talk to Him. It's a beautiful place--quiet and peaceful. I know many religions have beautiful sanctuaries where people can commune with God, and I feel grateful to have our temple in Redlands as a place of Retreat.
When I go there, I feel like I'm "going home." I feel how much God loves us, I receive that sense of calm I desperately need, and I always learn something new about how God works with His children.
Now that I've essentially poured out my heart, I feel timid about pressing the "publish post" button. I keep a separate, private journal because the things that I'm learning are very personal to me. However, I occasionally feel that I should share some of these things on my blog--in case it might be helpful to someone else out there.
Have a wonderful day. I'm off to my Retreat.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Entitlement Webinar (Can't Wait!)
We just got back from a very nice (and much needed) two-week trip to Family Camp and to visit family and friends. I'll have to post some photos and experiences from that trip soon, but honestly, coming home after a vacation always feels overwhelming to me for at least a week.
It is fabulous to get away from the normal routine for a bit, but the laundry, phone calls, emails, etc. that inevitably pile up need some TLC, so I'm trying to keep things simple and involve my family in recreating the peaceful, orderly environment we so desperately need.
One exciting thing I do have going this week--tomorrow, actually, is our second Power of Moms webinar--this one featuring Saren's parents, Richard and Linda Eyre, and their new book, The Entitlement Trap. (If you'd like to participate, click HERE for the details.)
Since Saren and I have been working closely together for so many years, we feel like sisters, and her parents feel like my extended family. I remember sitting around their kitchen table after our May Park City Retreat, talking about the events of the day and our plans moving forward, and I thought, "How am I so lucky to have these people in my life?" I adore my own parents and siblings, of course, but being able to work with the Eyre family has been nothing short of a blessing.
This webinar we're holding tomorrow night will focus on how to help our children develop a sense of ownership so they don't assume that they are "entitled" to everything they want. I think my children are pretty incredible people, but I want to be sure I'm teaching them well.
When I hear things like, "Our car stereo isn't working, so I think we should get a new car" or "I don't like french toast for dinner" I wonder how I can help my children develop more gratitude for what they have and a greater willingness to help out around the home.
Of course I want them to enjoy childhood (this picture of Grace makes me smile),
but I also need to prepare them for the responsibilities of adulthood.
Since I'm going to be moderating the webinar and the chat feature, I've been thinking about my most pressing "entitlement questions." Here's what I have so far:
I'm getting excited for this webinar! Any other questions you'd like to add?
It is fabulous to get away from the normal routine for a bit, but the laundry, phone calls, emails, etc. that inevitably pile up need some TLC, so I'm trying to keep things simple and involve my family in recreating the peaceful, orderly environment we so desperately need.
One exciting thing I do have going this week--tomorrow, actually, is our second Power of Moms webinar--this one featuring Saren's parents, Richard and Linda Eyre, and their new book, The Entitlement Trap. (If you'd like to participate, click HERE for the details.)
Since Saren and I have been working closely together for so many years, we feel like sisters, and her parents feel like my extended family. I remember sitting around their kitchen table after our May Park City Retreat, talking about the events of the day and our plans moving forward, and I thought, "How am I so lucky to have these people in my life?" I adore my own parents and siblings, of course, but being able to work with the Eyre family has been nothing short of a blessing.
This webinar we're holding tomorrow night will focus on how to help our children develop a sense of ownership so they don't assume that they are "entitled" to everything they want. I think my children are pretty incredible people, but I want to be sure I'm teaching them well.
When I hear things like, "Our car stereo isn't working, so I think we should get a new car" or "I don't like french toast for dinner" I wonder how I can help my children develop more gratitude for what they have and a greater willingness to help out around the home.
Of course I want them to enjoy childhood (this picture of Grace makes me smile),
but I also need to prepare them for the responsibilities of adulthood.
Since I'm going to be moderating the webinar and the chat feature, I've been thinking about my most pressing "entitlement questions." Here's what I have so far:
- What kinds of rewards can I use to motivate my children? I don't want to feel like I'm "paying" them for every little thing.
- How much responsibility is too much responsibility for children? How do you find that balance between expecting great things and letting them enjoy their childhood?
- How do I help my children to develop a love for giving back?
- What are the best ways to show my children that most of the world doesn't have all the comforts that they do?
- How can I encourage my children to go above and beyond what is expected of them (and not just settle for "good enough")?
- What are the best ways to help my children use their free time in productive ways? Too many hours of computer, video games, TV, etc. often feel like a waste of time (but they still need "down" time).
- How can I respond to feelings of entitlement in the moment? Sometimes I recognize it, but I don't know quite what to say (besides, "Arrrrgggggghhhh!").
- If you could give me one piece of advice to start creating a stronger culture of ownership and gratitude, what would that be?
I'm getting excited for this webinar! Any other questions you'd like to add?
Thursday, June 2, 2011
The Beauty of Doing What Can Only Be Done Now
Years ago, I sat in my quiet apartment, spoon-feeding Gerber sweet potatoes to my first baby and wishing desperately for a more exciting life. Traveling to Italy, participating in productivity seminars, getting a Masters in Communication from USC--even having some reason to run a carpool sounded much more enticing than the constant work of running our little household and responding to the needs of a very active (and, I must add, darling) baby girl.
Mine is one of the most common stories ever told: I was thrilled to have a baby--then surprised by how hard it was to be a mother. I was committed to doing the best I could, and I loved my family, but in the back of my head, I really wanted something "more." To sum it up, I wanted to reach every single one of my lifetime goals at the same time.
If I could go back in time, I would tell myself about a lesson I learned recently at our local Denny's restaurant. I know--who would expect the children's coloring page to have a profound effect on my life? Well, it did, and I'd like to share it with you (because maybe these ideas will lesson the angst you're feeling about life right now).
This picture below shows two Space Sprockets.
Mine is one of the most common stories ever told: I was thrilled to have a baby--then surprised by how hard it was to be a mother. I was committed to doing the best I could, and I loved my family, but in the back of my head, I really wanted something "more." To sum it up, I wanted to reach every single one of my lifetime goals at the same time.
If I could go back in time, I would tell myself about a lesson I learned recently at our local Denny's restaurant. I know--who would expect the children's coloring page to have a profound effect on my life? Well, it did, and I'd like to share it with you (because maybe these ideas will lesson the angst you're feeling about life right now).
This picture below shows two Space Sprockets.
You pop out the colorful templates on the right, and you place them over the blank sprockets on the left. The readied sprocket looks like this:
You simply pick one of the stars on the perimeter and line it up with the North Star on the blank sprocket. Then you color in the parts of the template that match the color of the star. Below, you'll see how the red star is lined up with the North Star. This is when you would hold the sprocket steady and color in those red designs below. Pretty simple, right?
Here's how it looks:
Once all the red spots have been filled, you rotate the sprocket to the next star (in this case, green), and you proceed to color the green areas of the template.
After the third rotation, the image looks like this:
And by the end, it looks like this:
Isn't that a nice-looking meteor? My eight-year-old made his using four colors, so you can see how each part contributed to the final image.
If you get mixed up, there's a little answer key on the back to show you how your picture is supposed to look.
Where on earth am I going with this?
Our lives are metaphorically divided up into a series of colored-star periods. Depending on our unique situations and the speed of our growth, the number of stars varies, but each of us can look back and identify many "times and seasons" of our lives.
It's tempting to want to have/do/be everything all at once, but if we do, our Space Sprocket will end up looking like a haphazard scribble. Does this look anything like a meteor to you?
Instead, each of us gets to identify our "North Star" (a very Stephen Covey-ish principle that I love) and figure out what, exactly, we need to be doing within that season of our lives. This isn't rocket science (no pun intended); it simply requires that we step back, take a deep breath, and ask ourselves, "What do I need and want to do that can only be done now?"
I feel very fortunate to have "kind of" figured that out while I was still spooning out sweet potatoes. Here's what I did:
- I sat down one day and wrote, "Before I can be ready for more, what do I need to learn to do well?" I then made a list of about 20 habits and skills I could develop in harmony with my current responsibilities and family situation. And I started working on them.
- I used my quiet time to read, think, create "Family Idea Binders," interview mothers I admired, and seriously plan for the future (knowing that there would certainly come a time when we would have two cars, and when my children would go off to school, and when I wouldn't be wiping up a mess every 45 seconds. I am now there).
- I cherished my baby (and the babies I've had since then). We have hours and hours of home movies where I captured their sweet expressions, their giggles, their favorite toys, and their delight at experiencing life for the first time. I hugged them, kissed them, and danced with them. Now, my oldest is turning 12 and my youngest is turning 4. Though it pains me to think that 14 years from now, I could be an empty-nester, because I've done my best to color in the "assigned parts" of my Space Sprocket, I know we're all ready to move on.
The end result (which I haven't yet reached, but which I can see taking shape) is that we'll create lives that are beautiful. We'll have lived lives that made sense--that had some order to them. We'll be able to look back and see how we were progressing--even if it felt like our work could have been replaced by an automatic sweet potato-disher-outer.
This type of thinking, in my opinion, is essential to mothers. I hear countless women lamenting the fact that their work as "unappreciated, mundane, and invisible." Of course these mothers won't feel a sense of progress at the end of the day if they see it that way, but what if we looked at our family work a little more closely? What if we stopped trying to color in all the wrong places and focused instead on the meaning of the work we need to be doing right now?
Italy isn't going anywhere, but my children won't always beg for bedtime back tickles. Productivity seminars happen just about every day somewhere in the world, but dinnertime kitchen dancing with my children is probably closer to its end than I know. I'm going to have years to work on a computer and get more education, but I won't always be able to play "House" with my girls. These are the things I need to cherish now.
I still get impatient with my life. I want to see my Vision Board come to fruition, I want to check all the tasks off my "Someday" list, and I want the not-so-fun parts of motherhood to end, but when I start getting all worked up, I think of my Space Sprockets. I ask myself what needs to happen right now, and even though I don't have an Answer Key in front of me, I feel confident that the focused energy I'm devoting to my family right now is central to the beautiful life picture I'm going to create.
QUESTION: What, in your life, can only be done right now?
CHALLENGE: Identify 10 habits and skills that would benefit your whole family if you were to focus on them right now. Then make those habits and skills a central part of your life.
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