"We're Both Being Raised" Webinar

Six years ago, I started writing about the ideas that strengthen me the most.  These are the ideas that draw me closer to God through my mothering and help me to see who He is.

While I have taught several of these principles at religious conferences over the years, the majority have never been published or recorded, and I recently felt impressed to produce a series of spiritual webinars for this blog (and perhaps The Power of Moms).

I don't claim to have all the answers, but if the thoughts I've put together in this webinar can help others to feel how much God loves them and give them the tools to make positive changes in their lives, then it's well worth the investment of time and energy.

Simply fine-tuning this webinar over the past week has been a powerful experience for me.  I've felt lifted, comforted, and inspired by the Lord, and I can tell you with 100% surety that He loves all His children.

This webinar is called "We're Both Being Raised."

I'll share five stories with you from my early years as a mother and discuss the patterns that exist between the way we raise our children and the way the Lord raises us.

Click here to watch the webinar, "We're Both Being Raised."

Much love,
April

Creative Activities at Home

We've been focusing on The Power of Fun this month at The Power of Moms, and I've been trying so hard to be a "fun mom."

Yesterday, Spencer was breathless as he said, "Mom!  I want you to walk out in the hall, go down the stairs, through the living room, into the kitchen, out the back door, and go jump on the TRAMPOLINE!!!"

Wanting to be a spontaneous, in-the-moment kind of mom, I said, "Sure!  Let's go jump."

Then I heard Spencer mutter under his breath, "But it might break."

We ended up jumping for about 20 minutes (no broken springs, fortunately), and I loved every minute with him, but I've noticed that most of the fun happening in my home is the spontaneous stuff my children do on their own (while I'm busy doing all the "mom stuff").

Life is 100 times cleaner and quieter when my children are "plugged in" to a screen or completely out of the house, but there's a certain level of creativity that's only reached when the electronics are turned off and our schedule is cleared of errands and appointments.

Walt Disney once said, "Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children."  I love that.

And sometimes, the best thing I do for my children is give them space to create.
Alia is almost 12, and she makes the most creative snacks for the kids--like these little mice nibbling on some cheese:

When my children visited with their cousins recently, they all dressed up in Halloween costumes and just played the whole afternoon (it wasn't even close to Halloween):

My sister told us about this fun idea--using rain gutters as car tracks.  The boys spend hours lining up the tracks and racing the cars across the living room.

 

And whenever I get out the kitchen food (found at a garage sale for $5), they have such a great time playing restaurant.

This is Grace, taking my order:

 

I was reading a book on the couch while they were playing, but I had to stop and take a picture of this cute meal.  Honestly, I know I'm going to miss these kinds of scenes popping up all around me.

One day, I walked by a little end table in the living room and saw that Grace left me this:

They looked so cute, lined up with big smiles.  Then I went in the kitchen and saw Spiderman hanging out on someone's plate of pretzels:

Alia wanted to teach Spencer how to type using the "home" keys.  He couldn't see the letters when his fingers were in the right position, so she got out a marker and wrote "A-S-D-F and J-K-L-;" right on his knuckles.  It worked!

Family life is a beautiful thing.  It's messy and noisy, and there's plenty of whining and tattling going on, but the more I recognize the fun around me, relax our schedule, and give my children opportunities to create more fun, the more I enjoy this whole process of motherhood.

What inspires you to be creative?  Do your children participate in any creative projects you think my children would like?  (I'd love to hear!)

You can also see what my girls are up to by visiting Alia's Ideas and A Place for Gracie.  Have a wonderful day!

The Reason Life is Hard

My home has been in a bit of an uproar these past couple of weeks.  It's been a good uproar because we've been doing some home improvement projects, but I've been trying to mother in a construction zone, and it was much harder than I thought. 

However, living with extra dust, noise, and confusion isn't the kind of "hard" I'm talking about today.  I'm 100% positive that every person who happens upon this blog has something really hard going on.

Maybe it's something you can't tell anyone else because it's private to you or your marriage.  Maybe it's a challenge that's been eating you up inside, and when you wake up in the morning, you instantly feel sick to your stomach.  Maybe it's a steady challenge you've had for years, and you can't even imagine life being "normal" for you. 

One of the reasons I haven't been a huge fan of "the mommy blog world" is because whenever you're reading about someone's vacation/day at the beach/flute concert/birthday party/family activity, you aren't able to see it in context. 

I know of far too many women who get depressed when they see the beauty of another's life, and they wonder why on earth their life isn't that way, too.  

Of course, many bloggers do their best to acknowledge the hard stuff and admit their imperfections, but still--there are just some things that no one can blog about, no matter how badly they want the rest of the world to know that they're normal, and so I'd like to offer a little perspective that has been invaluable to me. 

Last week, after taking Spencer to preschool, I went to my "special spot" in the house to have my morning devotional to God.  I opened my Google Docs to "My Questions," and I looked through my list of 40 or so topics until I found the one that I really, really wanted answered. 

This is one of those subjects I can't talk about on my blog.  It's the one that I've struggled and struggled with for years.  It's that one that strikes me at my center, and I would give anything to have it solved. 

As I looked at that question, I saw all the partial-answers I've already received.  I have it formatted like this:

Question 17: This is where I write my question.

4/6/05: This is where I write the first part of the answer I received.

1/19/06: And here is where I add a little more insight from the second time I pondered the topic.

11/1/07: And then a little more . . .

Today's Date: This is what the Lord tells me today.

(Maybe you didn't need to know all this, but since it works so well for me, I thought I'd share the details.)

As I wrote the things I felt the Lord wanted to tell me, I learned a little more about why life is hard.  

I was going to include a copy of a couple of paragraphs I wrote that morning, but as I read them over again, I realized they're still too personal to post.  Here's the essence, though:

I love God, and I am willing to give all I have and all I am to serve Him.  Honestly, I'll give Him 100%--no question.  But then I thought, "Why does He give me these challenges?  Doesn't He already know that I am His?"

That's when the answer came.  Yes, He knows I'm His.  But He needed my conviction and my devotion to deepen all the way to my core. 

It reminds me of my favorite C.S. Lewis quote:

The Christian way is different: harder, and easier. Christ says “Give me All. I don’t want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don’t want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. I don’t want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked—the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.”

Isn't that beautiful?  I can't read those words without getting choked up.  My mother first shared that with me more than 10 years ago, and I feel its power every time I think of it.  The hard times we go through are for our benefit.  The Lord is shaping us so we can receive Him.  (I think we all know that, but it's so easy to forget!)  

When I look at myself, I see my 10 extra pounds, my non-pedicured feet, my graying hair, and my many, many weaknesses.  But then I feel Him.  And He is Glorious.  He is so meek and merciful that He would consider using someone like me--who is nothing--to act in His name.  To be a mother.  To cherish my children and love them and create a home that is a heaven (well, I'm trying).  

I see all the heartaches around me, and I have no idea how to overcome it all, but HE does. He is Wonderful, and my prayer for you today is that you will let Him heal you, love you, and care for you. Because no matter how hard life seems sometimes, He has the power to make it beautiful.

Blessings,

April

How a 17-Year-Old "Planner Girl" Hopes to Empower Mothers

When I was 17, my planner and I were inseparable.  I carried it around my high school, clutching it safely to my left side--always ready to add a drama rehearsal to my calendar or a chemistry assignment my daily checklist.  Some people called me the "planner girl," and I considered that a huge compliment.

Twice, I skipped school to attend FranklinCovey seminars, where I sat in the front row and studiously took notes on how to get the most out of my daily planning sessions.  Sometimes it felt a little odd to be in large conference rooms with mainly corporate executives, but whenever I could spend time discussing time management, calendaring, vision statements, and goal-setting, I was in my element.

At one of the FranklinCovey seminars, I met Anthony Robbins.  I'd listened to his cassette tapes about "Awakening the Giant Within," and I was so excited to take my picture with him.  Do I look a little star struck?

Anthony Robbins and April Perry, FranklinCovey Seminar 1996

Fast-forward 16 years: My planner and I are still inseperable, but now that I'm a mother to four young children, life has taken on an entirely new rhythm.

Instead of sleeping in until 11 on Saturdays (yes, I'm embarrassed to admit that, but I did), I'm usually up before 6.   Instead of planning dance parties with friends or trying to figure out the best way to boost my college resume, I'm soaking rawhide in the backyard for my daughter's sixth grade project, changing the fifth load of laundry for the day, and trying to figure out who can pick up one child from scouts while another child needs to be at a music practice.

My task lists aren't centered on "me" anymore; it's my husband and family who are my top priorities.

Sometimes I miss the life of that girl in the photo.  Motherhood is so much harder than I thought it would be, but when I look at these faces and realize what part I play in giving them a great start in life, I know that there's nothing more important.

 

While my main mission in life is to care for my family, I also feel like I have a special assignment--to help mothers get organized.  

We surveyed over 200 mothers in our Power of Moms Community this week and asked them what is most stressful in their lives.  Their answers were achingly similar:

• Never getting to do my projects because of the mess
• Paperwork!  I can't keep up with it
• My children!  Not enough time in the day
• I feel overwhelmed by all the information and papers, and I don't know where to begin to tackle the mountain-load
• Piles of stuff everywhere!
• Feeling behind in everything
• My depression and trying to raise a family
• MESS.  I can't get ahead.  I am maintaining my mess!!!
• All the papers that come home from school are overwhelming
• Keeping my house clean and making time for fun
• All of my different responsibilities--trying to keep them in balance is stressful
• More tasks than time
• Keeping up with daily tasks; not getting to the things that matter most 
• Finances and credit card debt
• Being sick and still being a mom
• My child with special needs
• Having too much on my plate; not meeting everyone's expectations

As I read these survey results, my heart could feel the pain that these good mothers are experiencing, and I could totally relate.  For many years, I felt so stressed about all of my family responsibilities.  I had some difficult (and very painful) health problems, I was up at least twice a night, and I would walk around my house thinking about how everyone and everything needed my attention at the same time.

But then I started reading . . . and reading . . . and applying what I read.  And now, while I still have a lot on my plate, I don't have the same stress.  I fall asleep easily, my house is in order, I don't have papers on my counter, and I feel like I can really be present with my children (even though tonight I'd completely "had it," and I kind of sent them to bed with a grumpy voice.  Just wanted to be honest).

The main way I'm teaching moms to get organized is through the Mind Organization for Moms program we offer at The Power of Moms, but if you'd like to see the "baby steps" version of the program, we've put it into a simple eBook and webinar, and we call it Five Steps to Less Stress.

Click here to register for our free Power of Moms Member Package, where you can download your complimentary copy of the Five Steps to Less Stress eBook.

Click here for the Five Steps to Less Stress Webinar (also totally free).

And if you find this helpful, please pass it on.  My main goal is to empower mothers and enable them to really enjoy their families by helping them to organize and prioritize.

You'll be helping to fulfill the dream of a 17-Year-Old Planner Girl.

Love,
April

Our First Couples Retreat

It's been four days since I returned from the Couples Retreat in Park City, and while our house has been hopping with some home improvement, school projects, preparations for "picture day," and all kinds of messes and squabbles, I've been trying to think of a way to adequately sum up the experience.

Each Power of Moms Retreat I've attended has been magical to me.  I love meeting with deliberate mothers.  I love sitting in small groups and learning new ideas to make my family stronger.  I love having a little break from my daily routine (even though I always return home feeling totally exhausted!).

The real power of this Retreat, however, was seeing moms AND dads coming together to focus on their specific family needs. 



Where else do you see couples wrapped in conversation, talking excitedly about what their children and homes need in order to thrive?  After watching what was happening around me and feeling the incredible energy, I whispered to my husband, "I've never seen anything like this in my whole life."  He nodded in agreement. 

Just imagining how these parents are going to go home and apply their ideas hits me at the core.  I received an email this morning from a dad who attended the full Retreat, and he said this:

"Words cannot express the gratitude I feel for The Power of Moms.  Since my family has been involved with this organization, our focus and priorities have drastically changed."  

That made my day.

Here is a photo of Richard and Linda Eyre giving the opening Keynote address.  They are fabulous presenters, but more than that, they are fabulous parents.  As Saren was introducing them, she said that she could go on and on listing their accomplishments, but the main reason we wanted them to speak was because they walk the talk.  After beautifully raising nine children, and being totally deliberate in the process, they have learned a wealth of skills and knowledge that they are now passing on to those of us who are still "in the trenches."  (I'm reading their newest book, The Entitlement Trap, right now--and loving it!)

One of the most fun parts of the Retreat, for me, was getting a chance to present with my husband, Eric.  (Please pardon the blurry camera . . . I'm going to return it.) We led a morning discussion about Parenting Partnerships--creating a strong relationship from which you can build your family. 

We had so much fun working on this that we've decided to start recording more podcasts together (we've got this new idea called "Podcast Date Nights" that we'll be launching soon with our Power of Families website, so stay tuned . . .).  If you haven't listened to our first podcast, Expectations in Marriage, it's available at The Power of Moms and in our Power of Moms iTunes feed.

Here's a photo my husband snapped of Saren and her husband, Jared.  He is our website designer, and honestly, The Power of Moms would still be sitting inside a bunch of notebooks and Word docs if it weren't for him.  Eric and I consider these amazing people as two of our closest friends.

This is Saren, presenting Family Systems with her parents.  Saren is the mastermind behind these Retreats.  I still get stomachaches before each one, but she is a natural, and I feel privileged to get to work with her each day.  Have you seen all the cute videos she's been making for our new Deliberate Mothering series? Priceless.

Tiffany Sowby and her husband, Mike, also did an excellent job sharing some ideas about family traditions and economic principles that have worked in their family.  Tiffany was the Retreat Organizer for this Couples Retreat, and she is amazingly sharp.  Her blog is one of my favorites.

I had to snap a photo of this cute mom with her little sleeping baby:

 

And a couple more photos of my new, dear friends:

Mary Croxford and Megan Stewart are two of our Power of Moms Board members (a mother/daughter pair), and it was so fun to meet their husbands!

Koni Smith has been my friend via email for the past couple of years.  She answers all of the emails that come through the website, and we were so happy to get to have her at this Retreat.



And here's Linda, Saren, Me, and Tiffany at the close of the Retreat.

If you haven't had the chance to attend a Power of Moms Retreat, I do hope you'll consider coming to one in the future.  With our new Empower Program, we're doing everything we can to get the moms who really want and need this experience to have the opportunity.  We'll be in New Hampshire this October, Arizona in November, California in January, and Australia in March (I'm getting my passport in a couple of weeks!).

The best part, however, was coming home to my family--and seeing this taped to my desk:

That was from Grace.  I love my family. 

Love,

April

Happy 4th Birthday to The Power of Moms

Saren and I haven't been tracking the history of our site very carefully, but I just found an email dated September 2, 2007 called "Power of Moms Launch," so this month, we are wishing The Power of Moms a very happy 4th birthday.  

This was my situation at the time of the launch:

• eight months pregnant with my fourth child, Spencer (he came 10 days later)
• had been working on this website for more than a year with some good friends who served on our initial board
• scared to death to launch it because I didn't know if I could keep up with a monthly newsletter
• decided I would just go ahead and take the plunge before I delivered my baby (because who knew when I would have arms free to work on the computer while caring for a newborn)
• knew somewhere in my heart that this was the first step toward something monumental in my life

Saren and I teamed up just a few months after the site went live (she had a website of her own, which now serves as the basis of our Learning Circles and Retreats), so really, The Power of Moms has two birthdays, but If you're interested, here's what I sent to a small group of my friends at the first launch:

From:"April Perry" 

Sent:Sun 9/2/07  12:35 am
Subj:"Power of Moms" Launch

Hello, Fellow Mothers!

I am excited to announce that we have launched the website
http://www.powerofmoms.com/ .  This is an interactive website designed to connect
mothers and help them to teach, inspire, and encourage one another.  I
would love for you to be a part of it!

We are still in the process of adding more content and features to the
site, but the majority of it is up and running and ready for submissions!
On the site, you will find articles that focus on how moms can look at the
world optimistically (general and religious), journal entries that
highlight special mothering moments, book abstracts to help mothers select
the best books to read, and a forum titled "Moms' Perspectives."  We
also have a monthly challenge, a monthly value (linked with Richard and
Linda Eyre's Values Parenting website), and a yearly project.

Please forward this link on to anyone you think might enjoy visiting or
participating.  The whole point of the site is to strengthen mothers by
providing a way for us to teach and learn from each other.  I consider you
to be outstanding women, and I hope this is a site you will enjoy!

Love,

April

 

It's now been four whole years. (See my baby?)

 

Four years of work with women who are like sisters to me.  Four years of learning from other mothers who inspire me to be deliberate in how I raise my children.  Four years of doing "scary" things every day--and realizing that even though I'm not as smart as I need to be, those who work with us on the site, the community at The Power of Moms (and the Lord, of course) make up for where I lack.

I honestly didn't know where this was going to go (and if I had, I probably wouldn't have been brave enough to send out that initial email), but The Power of Moms has helped me to focus my time on the things that matter most, and if you haven't joined yet (it's free!), we have a great Member Package ready for you (and an exciting Couples Retreat in Park City this weekend). 

Such a fun way to celebrate a birthday!

National Entitlement Awareness Day

Today is National Entitlement Awareness Day, and the Eyres are sponsoring a HUGE Giveaway.  Click HERE to learn more . . . and read on to hear how this book has already changed my family life.

A few months ago, one of my children had the chance to attend a professional baseball game with my husband, and that particular child was really excited about getting cotton candy.  My husband wanted to make the day extra special, so he bought a nice pink fluff of sugar from the vendor, and our child was all smiles–until the blue cotton candy cart came by.


“DAD!  I wanted blue!”

I don’t blame my child for wanting blue cotton candy.  I don’t blame children at all for wanting the fun, beautiful, exciting things they see other people enjoying.  However, too many parents today (including me, sometimes) aren’t taking the time to sit down and teach their children that they simply can’t have everything they want.  Children need to learn to work.  They need to feel a sense of ownership for their lives and motivation to do their best.

 

I've been working with Richard and Linda Eyre these past few months in preparation for the launch of their new book, The Entitlement Trap, and I must say that the principles they teach in their book WORK.

Because I've been studying ways to help my children not feel entitled, I'm more quick to notice "the creep" of the entitlement mentality.  Here are some of the changes we've made:

• My children did "Summer Goals" and had to work hard each day--learning to type, cleaning, reading, writing, helping their brother, practicing their musical instrument, developing new skills, etc.  It's amazing to see how they don't gravitate to a screen as much now that they're excited about other hobbies and activities.
• We gave each child a small school shopping budget, but everything else they wanted had to come out of their own pockets.  There was absolutely ZERO whining while we were clothes/school shopping (and each child was so grateful for the things they got to buy--even though they didn't get everything they would have typically wanted).
• My three-year-old does jobs around the house now in order to earn little check marks on our dry erase board.  Ten checks equals a pack of gum, and he is excited to work.  The other day, I was taking out the trash, and he said, "Mom, could I help you do that?"  A THREE-YEAR-OLD.  I was all smiles.

I'm promoting The Entitlement Trap because this is something I truly believe in. There are more problems in the world than I am able to solve, but this is one cause that can help our children, our nation, and our world.  It's already helping mine.