National Entitlement Awareness Day

Today is National Entitlement Awareness Day, and the Eyres are sponsoring a HUGE Giveaway.  Click HERE to learn more . . . and read on to hear how this book has already changed my family life.

A few months ago, one of my children had the chance to attend a professional baseball game with my husband, and that particular child was really excited about getting cotton candy.  My husband wanted to make the day extra special, so he bought a nice pink fluff of sugar from the vendor, and our child was all smiles–until the blue cotton candy cart came by.


“DAD!  I wanted blue!”

I don’t blame my child for wanting blue cotton candy.  I don’t blame children at all for wanting the fun, beautiful, exciting things they see other people enjoying.  However, too many parents today (including me, sometimes) aren’t taking the time to sit down and teach their children that they simply can’t have everything they want.  Children need to learn to work.  They need to feel a sense of ownership for their lives and motivation to do their best.

 

I've been working with Richard and Linda Eyre these past few months in preparation for the launch of their new book, The Entitlement Trap, and I must say that the principles they teach in their book WORK.

Because I've been studying ways to help my children not feel entitled, I'm more quick to notice "the creep" of the entitlement mentality.  Here are some of the changes we've made:

• My children did "Summer Goals" and had to work hard each day--learning to type, cleaning, reading, writing, helping their brother, practicing their musical instrument, developing new skills, etc.  It's amazing to see how they don't gravitate to a screen as much now that they're excited about other hobbies and activities.
• We gave each child a small school shopping budget, but everything else they wanted had to come out of their own pockets.  There was absolutely ZERO whining while we were clothes/school shopping (and each child was so grateful for the things they got to buy--even though they didn't get everything they would have typically wanted).
• My three-year-old does jobs around the house now in order to earn little check marks on our dry erase board.  Ten checks equals a pack of gum, and he is excited to work.  The other day, I was taking out the trash, and he said, "Mom, could I help you do that?"  A THREE-YEAR-OLD.  I was all smiles.

I'm promoting The Entitlement Trap because this is something I truly believe in. There are more problems in the world than I am able to solve, but this is one cause that can help our children, our nation, and our world.  It's already helping mine.

Entitlement Webinar (Can't Wait!)

We just got back from a very nice (and much needed) two-week trip to Family Camp and to visit family and friends.  I'll have to post some photos and experiences from that trip soon, but honestly, coming home after a vacation always feels overwhelming to me for at least a week. 

It is fabulous to get away from the normal routine for a bit, but the laundry, phone calls, emails, etc. that inevitably pile up need some TLC, so I'm trying to keep things simple and involve my family in recreating the peaceful, orderly environment we so desperately need.

One exciting thing I do have going this week--tomorrow, actually, is our second Power of Moms webinar--this one featuring Saren's parents, Richard and Linda Eyre, and their new book, The Entitlement Trap.   (If you'd like to participate, click HERE for the details.)

Since Saren and I have been working closely together for so many years, we feel like sisters, and her parents feel like my extended family.  I remember sitting around their kitchen table after our May Park City Retreat, talking about the events of the day and our plans moving forward, and I thought, "How am I so lucky to have these people in my life?"  I adore my own parents and siblings, of course, but being able to work with the Eyre family has been nothing short of a blessing.

This webinar we're holding tomorrow night will focus on how to help our children develop a sense of ownership so they don't assume that they are "entitled" to everything they want.  I think my children are pretty incredible people, but I want to be sure I'm teaching them well.

When I hear things like, "Our car stereo isn't working, so I think we should get a new car" or "I don't like french toast for dinner" I wonder how I can help my children develop more gratitude for what they have and a greater willingness to help out around the home. 

Of course I want them to enjoy childhood (this picture of Grace makes me smile),

 but I also need to prepare them for the responsibilities of adulthood.

Since I'm going to be moderating the webinar and the chat feature, I've been thinking about my most pressing "entitlement questions."  Here's what I have so far:

• What kinds of rewards can I use to motivate my children?  I don't want to feel like I'm "paying" them for every little thing.

• How much responsibility is too much responsibility for children?  How do you find that balance between expecting great things and letting them enjoy their childhood?

• How do I help my children to develop a love for giving back?

• What are the best ways to show my children that most of the world doesn't have all the comforts that they do?

• How can I encourage my children to go above and beyond what is expected of them (and not just settle for "good enough")?

• What are the best ways to help my children use their free time in productive ways?  Too many hours of computer, video games, TV, etc. often feel like a waste of time (but they still need "down" time).

• How can I respond to feelings of entitlement in the moment?  Sometimes I recognize it, but I don't know quite what to say (besides, "Arrrrgggggghhhh!").

• If you could give me one piece of advice to start creating a stronger culture of ownership and gratitude, what would that be?

I'm getting excited for this webinar!  Any other questions you'd like to add?