Monday, June 20, 2011

Entitlement Webinar (Can't Wait!)

We just got back from a very nice (and much needed) two-week trip to Family Camp and to visit family and friends.  I'll have to post some photos and experiences from that trip soon, but honestly, coming home after a vacation always feels overwhelming to me for at least a week. 

It is fabulous to get away from the normal routine for a bit, but the laundry, phone calls, emails, etc. that inevitably pile up need some TLC, so I'm trying to keep things simple and involve my family in recreating the peaceful, orderly environment we so desperately need.

One exciting thing I do have going this week--tomorrow, actually, is our second Power of Moms webinar--this one featuring Saren's parents, Richard and Linda Eyre, and their new book, The Entitlement Trap.   (If you'd like to participate, click HERE for the details.)

Since Saren and I have been working closely together for so many years, we feel like sisters, and her parents feel like my extended family.  I remember sitting around their kitchen table after our May Park City Retreat, talking about the events of the day and our plans moving forward, and I thought, "How am I so lucky to have these people in my life?"  I adore my own parents and siblings, of course, but being able to work with the Eyre family has been nothing short of a blessing.

This webinar we're holding tomorrow night will focus on how to help our children develop a sense of ownership so they don't assume that they are "entitled" to everything they want.  I think my children are pretty incredible people, but I want to be sure I'm teaching them well.

When I hear things like, "Our car stereo isn't working, so I think we should get a new car" or "I don't like french toast for dinner" I wonder how I can help my children develop more gratitude for what they have and a greater willingness to help out around the home. 

Of course I want them to enjoy childhood (this picture of Grace makes me smile),

 but I also need to prepare them for the responsibilities of adulthood.

Since I'm going to be moderating the webinar and the chat feature, I've been thinking about my most pressing "entitlement questions."  Here's what I have so far:
  • What kinds of rewards can I use to motivate my children?  I don't want to feel like I'm "paying" them for every little thing.
  • How much responsibility is too much responsibility for children?  How do you find that balance between expecting great things and letting them enjoy their childhood?
  • How do I help my children to develop a love for giving back?
  • What are the best ways to show my children that most of the world doesn't have all the comforts that they do?
  • How can I encourage my children to go above and beyond what is expected of them (and not just settle for "good enough")?
  • What are the best ways to help my children use their free time in productive ways?  Too many hours of computer, video games, TV, etc. often feel like a waste of time (but they still need "down" time).
  • How can I respond to feelings of entitlement in the moment?  Sometimes I recognize it, but I don't know quite what to say (besides, "Arrrrgggggghhhh!").
  • If you could give me one piece of advice to start creating a stronger culture of ownership and gratitude, what would that be?

I'm getting excited for this webinar!  Any other questions you'd like to add?


  1. I'm getting excited for this too. I'm curious of what they think about my own generation. The entitled kids now becoming parents. I feel I often have to debunk my own issues of entitlement. I also say it's ok to be a little spoiled, aren't we all sometimes, as long as you're not spoiled rotten. That is a fine line though. And I'm worried to cross it. Again I'm excited.

  2. I was thinking that, too! Maybe I should ask, "What do I do about MY feelings of entitlement?" Lots of good food for thought. Thanks for mentioning that!

  3. What are some questions I could ask or a suggested dialogue I could have with my children about entitlement?

    How can I help my children appreciate the comforts in their life? (Sometimes they think they have it so bad.)

    Gratitude, hard work, and service seem to be antidotes to entitlement. Are there any others that you have recognized?

  4. Great, Kristine! Thanks for the good questions.

  5. It was sure great to see you guys while you were here, thanks for contacting us and making it possible. As for teaching gratitude, I have no answers other than I try to point it out when my kids are gracious and help them realize how good it feels to say it. And I'm trying to be more grateful in my own life. I made a goal to send out 52 thank you cards this year, it's been a great experience to look for people who deserve my thanks. I've grown a lot from it so far.

  6. Josi, I'd love to send out one thank you card per week! What a great idea. I'm going to talk with my children about it. I thinkn that's a fabulous Sunday activity. Great thoughts!

  7. LOVE that picture of Grace! I think you should change it to black and white and print it as a 20x30 at Costco ($10) and mount it on some foam core and hang it up! Such a great moment you captured!

    Geeez....this whole entitlement thing is hitting me square in the face right now! I am so glad to have these really great discussions to listen to and posts to read so that I can have it in my mind and figure out some solutions that work.



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