Studio C - A Comedy Show Our Family ADORES

There's a fantastic comedy show called "Studio C" that's available for free online. Have you heard of it?  Our children love it, and we've watched every episode together as a family.

It's created by BYUTV, and since Eric and I are both BYU alums, we had to take our children on a tour of the studio while we were there.

This is the main floor of the BYU Broadcasting building--featuring some of their best shows:

We found out that the show is called "Studio C" because it's actually filmed in Studio C.  There is also a Studio A and a Studio B (but they don't have shows with those names).

This is the actual stage!  My children were thrilled to be there.

This is where they store their props:

And this was our awesome tour guide, Sean McGowan.  He spent an hour and a half with us--taking us through each part of the building and answering all our questions.  What a fun way to get children excited about the world of broadcasting.

We made this little video while we were there:

And then we went on a tour of a few other sets:

And got to see their high-tech truck:

This is the make-up room for the women featured on BYUTV:

And this is the green room:

Sean showed us room after room of screens and editing equipment.  Simply amazing.

This made us laugh.  (It says, "Please deposit $ .25 to continue . . .)

Another editing room:

I want a studio like this in my house someday.  Doesn't that look fun?

This is where they coordinate the music on BYU's classical radio station:

Each of these speakers is worth more than $25,000.  Oh, I wish I could go back to school and work in this building.  I majored in Communications at BYU, but we didn't have this back then.

This is a lovely lounge outside the music room:

And here we are, saying goodbye!  (Grace was at basketball camp, so she missed the tour, but we promised we'd take her next time!)

Click here to access BYUTV and see all the episodes of Studio C.

And if you want to see a few of our favorite Studio C clips:

This is the Shoulder Angel.  He literally climbs on the other actors' shoulders and transfers himself to others' shoulders without ever touching the ground.  It's one of our favorite sketches.



This one is INCREDIBLE!  He climbs up onto the president's shoulders while wearing handcuffs.

"I'm Fiiiiine!" is now one of our most common family phrases:


And this one about Facebook made me laugh:

Those are just a few we thought you'd enjoy.  The new season will be coming out soon.  We can't wait!!

Thinking About "Warrior Moms"

Tonight I recorded a podcast with one of my new friends, Jessee Stewart.  (We met at the Las Vegas Retreat.)

I'll be posting the recording in a few weeks, but in the meantime, I just wanted to share my gratitude for the "Warrior Moms" out there.

That term is used often by Glennon Melton at Momastery, but I also heard it from my friend Sarah Hull, who wrote a beautiful post on her blog about mothers who are warriors each day for their children, particularly those who have special needs.

Jessee's first daughter lived only three months.  She had a rare heart condition, and she was profoundly deaf and blind.  But when you hear how strong Jessee has become as she went through this huge trial (and how much she values deliberate motherhood), you can't help but feel touched.

Our conversation got me thinking about my sister Linda, whose son Austin has been in and out of the hospital throughout his entire life.  She wrote a post recently for Power of Moms about Austin's Tuberous Sclerosis Complex that you can read here, and yesterday she emailed the family to tell us that the Make-a-Wish Foundation is sending her, Austin, her husband, Brent, and her mother-in-law to Disneyland in September.  We are all praying that Austin will be healthy enough to make the trip.  I told my children about it today, and they are so excited for him.

I've also been thinking about this video I watched several years ago about a baby named Eliot, whose life has inspired millions--even though he only lived for 99 days.  (This is definitely worth the watch.)



As Jessee and I were talking tonight, the theme was "Cherish the Little Things."  That's something I'm working really hard at achieving.

Yesterday, Eric, Ethan, and I played Twister in the living room (at Spencer's request) while Spencer was the "spinner" and sat happily on the stairs.  It was hilarious.

Alia is assisting one of our cute neighbors with a cooking class she's teaching to 10 little girls. 

Every morning, Alia gets herself ready, packs up my red apron, and walks down the street for the class.  Then she comes home with a new recipe she wants all of us to try.

I'm taking each child on a special date this week to get a new pair of shoes and a few outfits for school.  When I took Ethan on Monday, he only wanted to look at the Legos.

 
Today was Spencer's turn, and Grace made me promise to text her pictures so she could offer her perspective on his wardrobe.  Here's a screenshot of part of our conversation:

Warrior moms inspire me to want to be better and to enjoy moments like this. I'm grateful for their voices, and I'm grateful for their examples. I know their burdens are heavy, but they are amazing, amazing women.  And they make a difference to me.

Much love,
Aprill

To Those Who Play Supporting Roles (Podcast)

I had a great conversation with Saren today--one that I really needed.  (We recorded it for our weekly radio show, and if you want to hear it, the link is at the bottom of this post.)

You see, my life doesn't feel like my own right now.  Maybe everyone feels that way, but I think this feeling is especially common with mothers.

We play supporting roles for our husbands, children, friends, neighbors, parents (and more), and sometimes it feels incredibly challenging to take care of our own needs and move forward on important projects because we're needed by everyone else . . . almost all of the time.

I kind of had to laugh because in the middle of the recording, Eric walked in the room and whispered, "Are you recording?"

I nodded yes, and then he got a little frustrated because he'd set aside time from his work to help me go pick up our van from the repair shop (the air conditioning had broken), and although I hadn't known exactly what his afternoon schedule entailed, my call with Saren went way longer than usual.

So there I was, trying to record a podcast about simplifying our lives and getting organized and putting relationships first--while my husband was downstairs waiting for me to get off the call and my children were needing their mama.

Needless to say, we kept the recording short.

The funnier part, though, was when Eric was looking through some of our computer files tonight, and he saw a reference to the topic of the podcast.

"Was your radio show about supporting roles today?"

"Yep." I replied.

He thought for a moment--reflecting on the interaction we'd had and all the grumpiness that followed--and then he smiled and said, "That's rather funny, isn't it?"

Oh, the memories we're making.

Click here to listen to the radio show!

Love,
April

Refocusing on the Definition of Success

I posted this snapshot to my Facebook page on Wednesday night,

and I included this caption:

Best visit EVER! Mom was so happy. We went on a walk, we had a great talk, and she happily went with the nurse when it was time for bed. So grateful.

I'm still on a high from that visit.

My mom was calm and cheerful most of the time--even though she wasn't quite sure what was happening or where she was.  (We passed her room as I was pushing her wheelchair down the hall, and when she saw "Z. Wilson" on the name plate, she laughed at how similar that was to her own name--Zoe Wilson--and said, "Isn't that funny?")

Since I'm recording my favorite moments here on this blog, I want to tell you about a conversation we had on our walk. 

Mom was in a pleasant state of mind, and I could feel that she was "there"--enough that I could share some of my deepest concerns with her and get some great advice. In the past couple of years, there have been so many times I've been in a quandary, and I've wished I could just call my mom and ask her what to do. 

Most of the time I can't, so when moments like this one pop up, I just start pouring out my heart as quickly as I can.

One of the things that is weighing heavily on my mind is how to best take care of my website (Power of Moms).

We are trying to coordinate our upcoming retreats right now, we're shifting our editorial calendar and communicating our vision with the more than 400 authors on our monthly call-out list, and we're in the middle of publishing two books, building additional online programs, producing our podcasts and radio show, and working on dozens of exciting projects. 

Organizing these projects and tasks is something I enjoy, and I do my best to keep everything straight, but even with an amazing co-director and a fantastic board of more than 45 other moms, this is a really big job.

And throughout this process, I want to be a great wife to Eric and a devoted, fun, deliberate mother to Alia, Grace, Ethan, and Spencer.

So I asked my mom what I should do when I feel like I'm not running my website as well as I think it should be run--because family life comes first, and it's often unpredictable, and I simply can't do everything I wish I could do.

She listened to all my concerns, and then she said, "April, the Lord doesn't measure your success based on your website. He measures your success based on how much you love Him."

Her words pierced my heart, and I immediately knew they were true.  There was nothing left to say.

I keep thinking about that advice, and yesterday, I went for a run on the beach by my parents' house: 

I sat for awhile at the end of the peninsula, reading a few scriptures from my phone, praying hard, and asking the Lord to help me to love Him more fully.

The responsibility still feels very heavy, but I've decided that I'm not going to try to "do it all." 

When I love God, and when I live the way He wants me to live, He speaks to me and shows me what to do.

That's not stressful at all.

I think I can do this. (Well, I know I can do this . . . with His help.)

Thanks Mom.


Much love,
April

Why I Was Afraid to Record a Podcast with Jon Acuff

In a post I wrote about a month ago (called "What Scares Me"), I referenced a great book called Start by Jon Acuff.

Then a couple of weeks ago, I was working on the computer while Eric was at some evening meetings, and I thought, "Maybe Jon would want to be featured on our Power of Moms podcast."

Immediately, that nervous/fearful part of my brain started sending messages like this:

• Jon is a best-selling author.  He's probably too busy.
• You'd probably be too nervous to do the interview.
• Don't even try this one.

But then that other part of my brain (that wants to punch fear in the face) replied with messages like this:

• Our Power of Moms podcasts are awesome.  I bet he'd love to take 30 minutes to be featured in front of our audience.
• And I've interviewed lots of best-selling authors: Richard and Linda Eyre, Julie Morgenstern, and Katrina Kenison. I can totally do this.
• I might as well try.  The worst thing he can say is no.

Without taking any more time to think about it, I located the contact form on his website and started typing an invitation.

The next day, I received an email from his assistant who wanted to schedule the recording.  I was elated.  (I even forwarded the email to my husband and my co-director, Saren, with an added, "SO excited!!!!!!!")

Now the podcast is up at Power of Moms, and I can't wait for you to hear it.  I didn't tell Jon how nervous I was, but after a few minutes, I felt totally fine, and I think the interview was wonderful. 

Jon is a great person--very personable, funny, family-centered, and encouraging.  If you don't know about him already, I'm glad I had the chance to introduce him to you.

And the advice in his book works.  See how he's already helping me to overcome my fears?

Go to the podcast page to hear my interview with Jon Acuff.

Fourth of July - and a Memorable Time with Mom

Our family just got back from camping at a beautiful spot in the Sequoia National Forest.  I don't have those photos uploaded yet, but I wanted to record a little bit about our fourth of July.

It started out with a flag raising ceremony, pancake breakfast, and lovely devotional with our friends from church.

I wanted to get a picture of my children in their red, white, and blue clothing, so I asked them to stand together and put their arms around each other.  They all started bickering and getting off balance, so I finally said, "Okay, just stand still with your arms by your side!"  So here they are:

They liked this pose much better:

I was glad to capture this photo of Alia and Spencer.  They're buddies.  Sometimes Spencer gets to have a sleepover in Alia's room, and she reads him stories and gets him all tucked in and then helps him get up quietly in the morning so he doesn't wake up anyone else in the house.  It's precious.

Here's our whole family:

After the breakfast, we went to the beach again to go boogie boarding (no photos because I was in the water the whole time), stopped for frozen yogurt (from the "I'd Love To" jar) and headed over to see my mom at her rehabilitation center.

Eric came with us this time, and we started out with a walk around the neighborhood (my children took turns with the camera so they could capture the moments):

Alia gave Grandma Zoe a flower to put behind her ear:

And Eric did most of the wheelchair pushing so I could hold my mom's hand:

Alia's flower slipped out, so I repositioned it (my mom was so happy to have it):

And even though my hair was all messy from the beach and I hadn't put on make-up, I thought about all the comments and advice I've been receiving through this blog and Facebook, and I decided to just savor the moments and not worry about those kinds of things.

Eric took the boys and Grace to get pizza, and Alia and I finished the walk with my mom.  (I was originally going to walk with her by myself, but Alia said, "Then who will take the pictures?")

We have a lot more photos I won't post here, but below is a picture of one of my favorite moments.

I told my mom how much I loved her, and then I said, "Mom, I write about you on my blog and my website.  Do you know that your example is reaching people all over the world?"

"Oh, I can't imagine that I have anything to teach, April."

"Mom, you have no idea.  There are so many mothers who want to have strong, beautiful relationships with their children, but many of them don't know how.  I tell them about you and about how you are so sweet to us and how you always help us to feel loved.  Other moms tell me that they love to hear about you.  They want to be like you--just like I do."

She smiled softly, and her eyes got moist.  Then she looked down and kind of shook her head back and forth.  Finally, she reached up and hugged me, and we just sat there together for a moment. 

During those few minutes, there was no anxiety, no asking about where Eric had gone (she honestly asked that about 70 times on our walk), and no worry about where she needed to be or how to get to her car.  It was just quiet and sweet, and she could feel how her influence is helping so many.

I never want to forget that experience.

Then I took her back into the facility (where she's been for a few weeks now), and she said, "Why are we going in here?"

"Have you been here before?" I asked.

"Well yes," she replied, "but not for a very long time."

We gathered in the courtyard and had a pizza party with Eric, and then I got her settled in the activity room with a nice worker named Ivan.  I explained that I needed to go back to my house with my family, but my departure was still hard.

She pleaded for me not to go and then asked me to please take her with me.  Her chin started quivering, so I hugged her tightly and said, "Please be strong, Mom. Dad will be here shortly, and I'll come again as soon as I can."

I finally had to leave--without looking back--and kept reminding myself, "She won't remember this in a few minutes."

When I got into the car, Eric looked into my eyes and quietly asked, "Are you okay?"

That is when I normally would have broken down, but instead, I thought about everyone who is helping me.  I thought about you--my friends on this blog who have encouraged me to take advantage of these moments, even if they're hard.  I thought about the support I have from Eric and my children.  I thought about my siblings, my dad, and our friends and neighbors who are all working together to visit my mom and help her through this time.  

And I was actually able to nod my head and honestly answer, "Yes, I'm okay."

I miss her, and my heart hurts a lot, but there is a lot of power in not being alone.  Thank you so much for your support.

(I hope you all had a great weekend, too!)

Love,
April

Q&A: What if You Don't Like Your Child?

We received a heartfelt email through Power of Moms the other day from one of our community members who has a child who is difficult for her to love.

Because I don't have all the answers, I forwarded the text of the email to our Power of Moms Board (leaving the name anonymous) and asked for advice.

The responses I got were absolutely beautiful, and I thought, "Why keep this powerful exchange a secret?"  So I'm posting a portion of the Q&A below.  Please feel free to add your thoughts in the comments!

INITIAL EMAIL:

From the time I was very young I wanted to be a mom. I knew with all my heart that that was what I wanted to do. I often thought about that day, and dreamed of what it would be like. When that day finally arrived and I held my baby girl in my arms I was overcome with emotion. I was so happy. 

As the years have worn on, I feel stuck in a battle with myself. My oldest child is my BIGGEST challenge. She is incredibly hard headed and stubborn, and very tough to love. At first I thought it was just me, that I wasn't up to the challenge of being a mom. But I find that I am a completely different person around her than I am with my other three kids. 

Nothing I do to mother her ever works, it always backfires. I am constantly putting out fires with her teasing her siblings, getting mad at somebody, yelling at me, being rude to her dad. We have not raised her to be like that! We've done the same thing with each of our kids and for whatever reason she is always angry. 

Most days I go to bed completely exhausted from having to deal with her. It's so bad that I actually look forward to her being gone at school or over at a friend's house. When she's gone there is peace in our house. I almost feel like I'm at a loss for what to do. I cry when I say my prayers at night because I feel like a horrible mom. I'd like to stay anonymous, but are there any moms who have ever been through this before? I love my daughter with all my heart, but I just don't like her sometimes.

ONE RESPONSE:

Dear Power of Moms friend,

April forwarded your email because she thought I might be able to respond, as I have some personal experience with what you wrote about. By way of introduction, I am on the Power of Moms board, and I have three boys ages 10, 7 and 5. My oldest has also been my biggest challenge. I relate to your tears and your struggles, and your desire to do right by your daughter but feeling like you don't measure up. 

The past 10 years have been a real struggle for me to come to terms with how hard raising a child can be and how some personalities offer a lot of resistance to our best efforts. I have wet my pillow with many tears, and one of the greatest challenges and desires of my heart in my life is to find a happy balance with my oldest child and to manage three strong willed children. 

As I have struggled, I have found that there are many other moms out there who struggle with one child (or more) noticeably more than the others. Many moms face different struggles but it just so happens that the challenges you conveyed in your short email are very familiar to me and my struggle with my oldest. 

For the first few years I was busy having other children and feeling that I just didn't measure up as a mom. Then came the explosion of blogs and Facebook updates with mostly positive sharing of parenthood experiences. We all love highlighting the joys, but there are struggles too. I promise that while my life looks pretty rosy to my Instagram friends, we have hard moments every day, even hour by hour. 

Over time and through prayer and exposure to other moms and their stories, I realize I am not alone in my struggle. All moms have different struggles with their kids, and over the course of our years we may experience a little bit of many kinds of challenges or a lot of a certain kind. I have finally come to accept that even wonderfully present, deliberate moms are faced with challenges that often feel beyond their control. You're in that category of deliberate, caring moms because you care so much and you want things to get better.

It sounds to me that you are like me in that you use prayer as an outlet. Continue to pray specifically for guidance. In still small moments I have had whisperings in answer to my prayers. For example, I have prayed to know how I can bond with this child when so much of our interactions can turn sour. The answer a simple, practical thought that has come - "Read to him at night. Snuggle and read to him." Simple, though it requires commitment from me, especially when I'm ready to have space from him. But I find in those moments that he becomes sweet, sensitive, and ready to snuggle. It is then that I can build a lasting memory with him. 

We have had some success with this, and I have to keep recommitting to read with him whenever possible as it is often during the day I'd rather invest that time, but at night there is something different when they're snuggled down and relaxed. It's worth it for me to ask my husband to give extra attention to the other two so I can spend at least a couple nights a week reading to the oldest. 

Another answer that has come when I've prayed about how to manage all the fighting that can happen and often instigated by the oldest has come as a clear, but again practical solution - "Take them to the park as much as possible." As much as I love to be home with our kids, when I take them to the park or the beach, there is more harmony and memories created. Again, I have to go out of my way to do this, but it has proven worth it. 

Another blessing from my prayers has been to see the strengths of this particular child. For example, while he can sure dish out slugs in the arm, he's the first to run to someone's aid when they fall and get hurt. He grabs the boo boo bag and examines them. He also says the sweetest, most loving prayers in our family. I always make sure and point out to him what a special strength these things are for him. 

Your answers from God may be different than mine, but keep in mind that some of the most obvious or practical ideas can go a long way. I've realized there's not a magical solution, but multiple, deliberate ways we can make a difference. As is often said, "By small things are great things accomplished." 

Another resource is professional help. I have finally gotten to a point in our family life where I have the time and feel ready to pursue some additional help to understand my son's unique makeup and temperament. Rather than mentally berating myself for not doing this sooner, I am accepting that now is the time that this was possible. 

I'm grateful for a fresh perspective. Professional help from a child psychologist may or may not fit your family interests or budget right now. Nor can I suggest that it's definitely necessary. I'll tell you my experience with it though. Through a two-hour evaluation with a psychologist who evaluates children though is that my son, while very bright and an A student, is a very slow processor. I know this is a trait that was inherited. I also understand that he is very impulsive. This is where the impulse to pick on his brothers and touch them or hit has come from over the years. I also now understand that he gets emotionally disregulated and overwhelmed easily. 

Some of these traits are familiar from another side of the family. These bits of knowledge are valuable because they help me have compassion and understanding of why my son feels he can't respond the way he or I would like. I'm actually going in to the psychologist later this month so she can help my husband and I understand how we can modify our approach in action, expectation and communication to have more success with our oldest son. 

When I spoke to her I felt so much validation knowing that so much of what my son struggles with are traits that are part of his makeup that neither of us have understood. Even better, we're not at fault that we clash. That's a huge weight lifted for mom and child. Down this road we will go, with more knowledge and ideas, knowing that we'll see improvements here a little, there a little, that this child learns the hard way...for now. 

So today I offer you the knowledge that you are not alone. Yes, there are indeed other moms who love their kids so much and struggle hard each and every day to make it through. Many of our lives look pretty grand from the photos - and they most certainly are - but we wet our pillows at night with you and we get on our knees day after day to get help. 

The answers come seemingly slow, the solutions take time to implement, and the results won't appear perfect. However, I think if you and I continue to pray and actively seek answers and fill our children's "buckets" the best we can - be it validating words, fair consequences, one-on-one time, smiles when we greet them, and whatever else you know your child can benefit from - we'll succeed. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, there are ups and down, but it will be worth it. Keep on being a deliberate mom. You are not alone!



I thought that was such a great response, and I would love to collect more suggestions, resources, and ideas in the comments here.  Can anyone else suggest best books, online programs, strategies, articles, etc.?  I know there is an amazing power when moms help each other.