Nothing Else Matters

One of the things I've felt impressed to do this year is to record some of the defining moments of my life. 

I'm not talking about the "big" things--because typically the moments that might seem impressive to others aren't the ones that define you.

I'm talking about the little things, like brief conversations with people I admire or "ah-ha" moments that come to me at unexpected times.  Many of my defining moments have happened on quiet days when I've prayed hard and thought deeply about what God wants for me.  And many others have happened in the midst of chaos (because that's very regular in my life). 

The defining moment I want to write about today happened during a lunch break when I was in elementary school.

We lived just a block away from the school, and I skipped home practically every day to eat a cup of Campbell's vegetable soup and a slice of whole wheat toast with my mom. She would stop the sweeping, move the bills off to the side of the table, and sit with me for the 20 or 30 minutes I was home . . . simply letting me tell her all about my morning and what our class's plans were for the afternoon.

But one day, I came home in tears.

My mom immediately opened her arms to me and said, "Oh, April, what's the matter?"  Then she led me out to the living room and sat down beside me on our soft brown couch, holding my hands and looking into my eyes--trying to figure out what on earth could be troubling me so much.

I poured out my heart and, through my sobs, told her how a girl at school had told another girl (who then relayed the message back to me) that she thought I was ugly.

Looking back, I can see that this was just one of those things girls do--growing up and figuring yourself out is challenging. This particular classmate and I later became good friends, but at the time, I was devastated.

My mom then told me two things.

First, she said, "April, you are not ugly."

I appreciated hearing that from her, but it didn't really help.  She's my mom.  Of course she's going to say that. 

But the second thing she told me has stayed with me for the last 20+ years, and I count it as one of my defining moments.

"And you must remember that the only thing that matters is what the Lord thinks of you.  Is the Lord pleased with you, April?"

I thought for a moment--about how I tried so hard to be a good girl, how I tried to love other people and work hard in school and obey my parents and help people who felt sad.  I thought about how I felt when I prayed and when I read the scriptures.  I knew I wasn't perfect, but I knew that I was living a life that would please the Lord.

I looked up at my mom and nodded my head.

And then she said, "Then nothing else matters."

That phrase sat in my heart, and I knew it was true.

At the end of that lunch break, I walked back to school with the most peaceful feeling inside.

I hadn't gotten any prettier while I was home, but as I crossed the street and entered back into the playground, it simply didn't matter anymore.

Even though I'm no longer an adolescent, there are still moments I start to worry about what others think of me.  My work at Power of Moms is very public.  I pour out my heart on a regular basis.  I show people pictures of the messes on my counters.  I let everyone see my wrinkles and the dark circles under my eyes. 

But these words from my mom come back to me often, and every time I think of them, I feel that same peaceful feeling.

We all have times when we wonder if we are enough.  And there will never be a shortage of exchanges--deliberate or accidental--that hurt our feelings.

But we can strengthen our resolve and remind ourselves that the only thing that matters is what the Lord thinks of us.

Have you had any specific experiences that helped you learn (or teach) this lesson?

Love,
April

New Podcast about Minimilizing

We all want to be surrounded by beauty and simplicity, don't you think?  Images like this inspire us with their color and uncluttered look.  I want my whole house to feel this way.  (Someday, right? Maybe when the grandkids come to visit?)

This beautiful room designed by Kelly Donovan totally inspires me.

The painting, decor, and design aspects are going to have to wait for now (but I know I'll get there eventually!).

In the meantime, however, I'm focusing on simplification.  Anyone--on any budget of time or money--can simplify his or her home.  We can take out the trash, give away items we no longer use, and make our homes into a haven for each family member.  It's totally doable.

But how do you do it when you're in the midst of "being the mom"?

I just recorded a podcast with my dear friend Marilyn DeBry (who is so good at this), and it went live on Power of Moms today.

Click here for more information on Episode 46: Simplifying Your Home Simply (and WITH the Children).

And just a little more background . . .

I met Marilyn and her family at the Philmont Scout Camp in New Mexico this past summer.  She knew me through Power of Moms (such a small world!), and we instantly became friends.  Here she is with her husband and six of her eight children:

Her two oldest children had gone on a week-long hike, and the family made posters to welcome them back to camp.  Isn't that so sweet?

And then before we parted after our week together, we took a quick photo in the dining hall:

The reason I wanted to record this podcast with Marilyn is because she is SO relaxed and positive around her children, and she and her husband had just de-cluttered their entire home. She was telling me all about how great it felt, and I knew that this was something our Power of Moms audience needed to hear. 

As a result of our podcast, my family minimalized our entire home, as well.  I was totally inspired, and now it feels incredible.  (I already liked de-junking, but Marilyn helped me take it to a whole new level.)  I am so grateful.

Enjoy the podcast!

L.A. Retreat Registration is OPEN!

Our dear Retreat Manager, Tiffany, and I have just completed the registration page for our Los Angeles Power of Moms Retreat--coming up on January 26th.

Are you going to be there?

I would REALLY love to meet you.

Running a website is a privilege, and I love the virtual interactions I get to have with so many mothers around the world, but sometimes we just need to get together in person.

We need to watch each others' eyes light up as we talk about our children.  We need to witness other moms breathing a sigh of relief (just like we do) when they realize they are not alone in this crazy, marvelous journey of motherhood.  We need to hear each other laugh and participate in powerful conversations and really enjoy being in the same room.

So please take a look at the registration page.  And check your calendar.  And think about how fun it would be to get away for a day--and return home a more empowered, happy, enthusiastic mother. 

If you'd like, you can see the report from last year's California Retreat (same location this time, thanks to the Palmer family!).

I promise it will be one of the highlights of your year.

And if you are worried about the cost, email us.  We have a unique payment philosophy, and we'll do our best to enable every mom to get to come to a Retreat . . . if she really wants to be there.

(If you live far away but know someone who lives near Los Angeles, will you help us spread the word?)

These Retreats are life-changing.  I can't wait.

Love,
April

The "Spencer Launch"

One of my favorite moments:

Eric gets home from church meetings, and Spencer says, "Daddy, will you throw me up in the air?"

Eric can't resist.

One of those little things I had to capture and share.

Do you have a special tradition or greeting in your house when someone gets home?

Love,
April

Our Christmas

Before I jump into 2013, I thought I'd take a moment to record a little bit about our family's Christmas.

It's been a wonderful month. We kept the gifts and celebrations very simple this year and did our best to focus on the purpose of the season--remembering the Lord, giving to others, and cherishing our time together as a family.

Eric and I realized that we only have FIVE more Christmases with all of our children at home.  Then Alia will be off to college, and our home is going to be empty before we know it.

We were so grateful that this year we got to visit Eric's side of the family and my sister's family for a few days and play in the snow--which was a totally new experience for my little California kids.  We didn't even own jackets before this trip, and my two boys had never once touched real snow (they are in LOVE with it now). With the help of my mother-in-law, some nice neighbors, and a trip to Target, we got everyone geared up for the freezing weather. 
 

This is our very first Perry Family Snowman.  Yay!

After about a week's worth of travels, we came back to California and had the chance to spend some time with my cute parents (I wrote a little more about this in my Power of Moms post, Your Influence Matters).  I just love them.

And then we stayed home for the next few days and spent a quiet Christmas with our children.

We opened a few gifts, did puzzles, played games, read stories, went on hikes, and just enjoyed being together.

There have been a lot of other little details, decisions, and frustrations going on behind the scenes (I just don't have pictures of those and can't describe them here!), but I'm grateful for the moments of beauty that have been weaved in between.

I think of these precious memories as "tender mercies" from the Lord.

One of my very favorite experiences from this Christmas was reading "The Clown of God" by Tomie dePaola to my children.  Have you heard of it?

My mom read it to me when I was a teenager, and now I read it to my children every year.

Alia snapped this picture with my phone when I was reading to them by our fireplace.

The basic story is that there is a young orphan who learns to juggle as a way to earn his food for each day.  He can juggle all kinds of things--plates, sticks, etc., but his best act is juggling a rainbow of balls (pictured above).  He adds red, orange, yellow, green. . . and finally ends with a large golden ball called "the sun in the heavens."

After traveling for years with a group of actors, he grows very old, and no one wants to see his juggling act anymore.  Depressed, hungry, and worn down, he returns to the place he was born and finds a dry corner of an old church where he falls asleep.

But that night is the "Procession of the Gifts," and he watches as a line of people come into the church to give gifts to the Christ Child.

After everyone leaves, the poor juggler wishes that he had something to give the Child, as well.  Then he remembers a conversation he once had with two monks, who told him that every time he makes someone happy, he is glorifying God.

So the juggler gets out his rainbow of balls and his mat and juggles the very best juggling act of his life.

When he gets to the finale with "the sun in the heavens," he is filled with love for Christ, and before his heart stops and his life comes to a sudden end, he calls out with all his energy, "For you, sweet child, for you!"

That's the part where my mom always got choked up. 

Because that's how she lives.  She does her best every single day to make other people happy and to glorify God . . . even when her work is humble . . . or challenging . . . or frustrating.

And sometimes when I find myself up to my elbows in laundry, handling a difficult situation with one of my children, or struggling to get through a stressful moment, I think of this story, and I say in my mind, For You, Sweet Child, for You!

Eric and I have high hopes of really making a difference to others.  We want to take our children to do service in third-world countries.  We'd love to do more humanitarian work right here in our own area.  We've talked about adopting a child or two someday (my girls are begging for a sister).

Right now I feel pretty maxed out, and caring for our home and four children (and running Power of Moms) is a lot for me. 

But this book, The Clown of God, and the sweet experiences and feelings of this Christmas season have helped me to see that my offering to God--however meager and simple--is accepted by Him, the One who knows each of our hearts.

And these thoughts are what help me "keep Christmas" all year.

Much love,
April

Happy 2013!

We took our children out last night to see the lights around a beautiful historic area of our community.  But before we left, I asked the girls to draw "2-0-1-3" so they could hold up the numbers in a photo (one of our traditions). 

We did a little "practice shot" in our house before we left:

And then we took another photo once we got there, but there were hundreds of people walking through a small section of the sidewalk, and we had to hurry since we were holding up traffic a bit.  Our children were embarrassed that they had to hold the pieces of paper I'd brought along in my purse (I have no idea why).  And Ethan was in a sad mood because we took away his red laser/flashlight pen that he got for Christmas (because he was shining it in his EYE).  See that face?

So we waited for another break in the traffic, and I got this semi-blurry picture of my four sweeties (this time, Ethan agreed to smile so he could have some hot chocolate and gingerbread cake with the rest of us):

 

We try.  We really do.  

Our lives never turn out quite like we plan, but when I cut away all the stress, whining, and mess-making and focus strictly on the beauty, I see something amazing.

I see children who are SO excited to taste the best hot cocoa on the planet.

I see a mom who knows how blessed she is to get to be a mother.

I see the wonder of childhood--sons and daughters staring up at lights and enjoying their time together as a family.  (My husband snapped this photo of us--love this very normal moment.)

And this picture is really dark, but I had to post it.  

Spencer was crying because his legs were tired from all that walking.  Alia offered to carry him to the car, and the moment she picked him up, he made this face (the crying stopped so quickly that we all started laughing):

 

Wishing you all the very best for 2013!  

Love, 

The Perry Family

 

Minimalizing (My FAVORITE Way to Unleash Creativity)

Are you feeling excited about 2013?

Thought I'd record some ideas that have been really helpful to me this week--in case you're looking to clean up your life a bit and make this next year even more wonderful.

I had the chance to interview my dear friend Marilyn a few weeks ago about how she and her family de-cluttered their home over the past year.  (Our conversation will be posted as a podcast on www.powerofmoms.com in the next couple of weeks, so you can hear her tell all about it!)

One of the "secrets" she shared for getting started was to read Minimalist Blogs.  (I was kind of embarrassed to admit that I had never heard of the term "Minimalist Movement," but wow, now I am absolutely thrilled to be a part of it.)

There are tons and tons of blogs out there that teach how to get by with less.  They show you how to get rid of your stuff and focus your life on what's really important. 

I've always loved books like "It's Here . . . Somewhere" and Julie Morgenstern's "S.H.E.D. Your Stuff, Change Your Life." I follow blogs like SimpleMom.net, and I've spent lots of time de-cluttering in the past.  I just didn't know that there was a movement going on that could help me become more deliberate in how I focus my life. 

For example, my daughters are getting ready to paint their rooms, and this photo, featuring beautiful simplicity, inspires us:

From www.houzz.com

I also LOVE this quote that was posted on the GTD Times Facebook page the other day (Are you following them yet?):

"The end of a year and start of the new is a great metaphorical event to use to enhance a critical aspect of your constructive creativity—get rid of everything that you can.

(This is the photo GTD Times posted with the quote.  One of the comments said, "Some nerve -- posting pictures of my apartment without my permission."  That made me smile.)

"Your psyche has a certain quota of open loops and incompletions that it can tolerate, and it will unconsciously block the engagement with new material if it has reached its limit. Release some memory.

"Want more business? Get rid of all the old energy in the business you’ve done. Are there any open loops left with any of your clients? Any agreements or disagreements that have not been completed or resolved? Any agendas and communications that need to be expressed? Clean the slate.

"Want more clothes? Go through your closets and storage areas and cart to your local donation center everything that you haven’t worn in the last 24 months. And anything that doesn’t feel or look just right when you wear it.

"Want to be freer to go where you want to, when you want to, with new transportation? Clean out your glove compartments and trunks of your cars. And for heaven’s sake, get those little things fixed that have been bugging you.

"Do you want more wealth? Unhook from the investments and resources that have been nagging at you to change. (And give more than usual do to someone or something that inspires you to do so.)

"Do you want to feel more useful? Hand off anything that you are under-utilizing to someone who can employ it better.

"Want some new visions for your life and work? Clean up and organize your boxes of old photographs. Want to know what to do with your life when you grow up? Start by cleaning the center drawer of your desk.

"You will have to do all this anyway, sometime. Right now don’t worry about the new. It’s coming toward you at lightning speed, no matter what. Just get the decks clear so you’re really ready to rock ‘n’ roll.

—David Allen

Isn't that fabulous?

So my family and I are doing some major de-cluttering this week.  We're cleaning out our closets, garage, cupboards, drawers, reading baskets, bookshelves, filing cabinets . . . everything.  We're making space in our lives so we can make room for the things that really matter in 2013.  It doesn't have to happen all at once, and I'm sure we'll get better at this over time, but it feels AMAZING.

(If you have any advice--favorite blogs, books, podcasts, videos, etc. that teach how to simplify/minimalize, will you please share them in the comments?  I am eager to learn.)

Much love,
April