Never Giving Up

I'm over at The Power of Moms today with a post called "Six Reasons to Never Give Up on Motherhood."


Our house is full of summertime right now . . .. We have piles of books from the library, towels and swimsuits drying in the backyard, lots of dishes in the sink, baskets of laundry waiting to be folded, paint brushes and artwork scattered across the table, and schedules full of spontaneity (and a little structure).

It's a sweet, busy (and sometimes frustrating) time, and I feel like I'm writing and working in bits and snatches. But this post about never giving up is one that burned its way out of me, and I'm hopeful the ideas can be helpful to someone. 

I also hope it can generate some good conversations that can better enable us to learn from each other.  (That's my very favorite thing about The Power of Moms.)

Much love,

April

My Little Brother's Wedding

My "little" brother Ryan got married in the Los Angeles Temple (of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) on Saturday, and Eric and I had the privilege of attending. 

 

We were actually married in the same temple 13 years ago, so it was an extra sweet day.  (Grace took this nice photo from the back of the temple.)

  

My mother, after 53 years of raising eight children, is finally an "empty nester." When I reminded her of that, she said, "But I don't want to be.  I want my children all around me, staying the night, making cookies, going to the park . . . I miss all of you."

I loved spending the day with her.

Here's a photo of Ryan and his wife, Cassie, right after the wedding.  Ryan found the most darling bride.  I'm so excited to have her as my sister-in-law. 

 

 

Weddings in the temple are fairly small (about 50 guests attended this one.)  Many of my friends at the reception wanted to know more about what happens during a temple wedding, so I thought I'd explain a little bit about it here.

In our church, we believe that the temple is literally the House of God.  It is very sacred to us, and those who enter need to be members of the Church in good standing (meaning that our actions reflect the principles we believe).

A temple wedding is actually referred to as a temple "sealing," which means the couple is sealed together for time and all eternity--not to be separated by death.

Ryan and Cassie were sealed in a "sealing room," which looks similar to this:

They knelt across the altar, and a person who holds the authority was able to talk with them for a few minutes about their marriage covenants and then perform the ceremony.  This takes just a few minutes, and the wording of the ceremony is beautiful--pointing us toward the most meaningful, purposeful parts of our lives.

If you'd like to read more about temples, this link is a good one.

Here are the three men in my family: my dad and my brothers Ryan and Robert.

 

We spent some time taking photos after the sealing, and I've included a few of them below.

Here's Cassie and Ryan . . . with my mom and dad and Ryan's seven siblings:

 

The happy couple with my mom and dad:

"Just the 10 of us." 

Almost all of us:

And this is one of my favorite photos EVER.  Growing up with five sisters and two brothers was heaven to me.  It still is.

Here are the grandchildren who were there that day. 

This is me and my sister Page.  She's 18 months older and about 4 inches taller, but sometimes our children (and friends) get us mixed up. 

 

After the sealing, my husband and children and I spent a few minutes in the Visitor's Center across from the temple.  (It's open to the public.)

I've always loved this beautiful Christus:

And they have some new exhibits that help teach the importance of family:

This section focused on serving others:

I was amazed at this photo of a newly-dug well.  Simply incredible.

There was also a lovely "living room" with wonderful, touching videos about family life.

Here is a brief video of one of the other exhibits I loved:

I loved the entire day at the temple and Visitor's Center.  It reminded me of how much God loves His children--all of them.  And I felt so peaceful as I contemplated what it is that God wants me to become.

We teach our children the principles we believe, but we encourage them to sincerely study and learn about others' beliefs, as well.  We know that God does His work through people of all religions, and as we grow in mutual respect for one another, we are more fully able to serve God. 

I have lots more photos from the day, but I'll just post two more.

One of my favorite moments of the day was at the reception, when I looked over and saw Ryan dancing with my mom.  I don't know why it struck me so much, but seeing my sweet, 76-year-old mother dancing with her very last child touched my heart.

I just think about the number of hours she and my dad have spent raising us.  They have honestly devoted most of their lives to our family.  I had to run over and snap this photo:

 

I really love my family.  And I'm so grateful for the time we were able to spend together this past weekend.  (Welcome to the family, Cassie!)

When You Dare to Dream

I'm feeling excited this week . . . particularly for my friend Whitney Johnson, whose thoughtful, remarkable book, "Dare, Dream, Do" has launched online and in bookstores around the nation. 

I was privileged to receive an advance copy of the book (a section of my "Mommy is a Person" post was published in it), and I have been reading a little bit each night.  "Wow" is all I can say.

 

Whitney has been on our Advisory Board at The Power of Moms for the past couple of years, and I learn so much by watching her.  We've only met once,

 

but when I read her blog (Dare to Dream), and as I read the wealth of information in her book, I somehow feel like she really knows me.  

Whitney understands that desire we each have to become our best selves, to try hard things, and to consider that perhaps the "pie in the sky" ideas we've been pushing to the side actually need to happen.

One quote from this book that I love says this:

"God calls you to the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."  -Frederick Buechner

That is exactly how I feel about my work strengthening families.

Another quote included from The Maiden King says, "For thousands of years, a powerful voice was a mark of personhood.  The longer the person stayed in the underworld (plunged to the depths of sorrow, for example), the more powerful the voice."

Sometimes I feel like I've been "in the underworld" for years.  It's a beautiful underworld--full of 2 a.m. feedings, the sweet chatter of babies, and volumes of precious experiences--but now that my youngest is starting kindergarten in the fall, I can see how incredibly challenging it has been.  

So many mothers feel like this.  They have so much to say, so much to write, so much to offer the world.  But they have to hold back for the sake of their families and wait for the right time to tell their stories.  

My planner is full of little notes and ideas that are just waiting to be shared, and as I ponder the quote above, I am excited to think that all the long hours of working, thinking, praying, and waiting have actually strengthened my voice.  And now that my time is opening up a bit more, I'll be able to "emerge as a powerful voice for change in the world" (p.25 Dare, Dream, Do).

All of us can do this.

So thank you, Whitney--for caring so much about the women around you that you would be willing to put together this book of insight, wisdom, and encouragement.  

And honestly, if you haven't yet ordered your copy--this book is well worth the read.

Love,

April

Las Vegas Retreat - And a Worthy Cause

Last weekend, our family took a whirlwind trip to Las Vegas so I could attend our 15th Power of Moms Retreat, which was organized beautifully by Tiffany Sowby and Becky Fife.

We started out with a Friday night Mind Organization for Moms session at Becky's house . . . and after sitting in the car for seven hours (which should have only been 4), I showed up 15 minutes late--with barely enough time to change my shirt, since I'd spilled my lunch all over myself. (Totally typical.)

Everyone was so nice, though, and they didn't even comment on my wrinkled clothes or my "car hair."  That's what I love about Power of Moms friends.

The following morning, we gathered back at Becky's for a full day of training, small group discussions, and delicious food by Rachel's Kitchen.

 

Becky is such a champion for motherhood.  Look at this cute welcome sign she made:

That melted my heart.

I'd only met Becky once before, but she treated me just like a sister.  What a talent it is to make someone you barely knownfeel totally at home.  I have so much to learn from her gracious, warm style.

Tiffany Sowby, Becky, and I led most of the training sessions, and though I didn't take nearly enough pictures, Becky and her niece let me borrow some of theirs for this post.

Our keynote on Saturday morning was Stephanie Waite from the blog, "A Daily Scoop."  I've gotten to know her through her blog over the past several years, and it was such a privilege to get to meet her in person.  

She reminded us to enjoy motherhood now--even when it's a struggle.  And she shared some beautiful analogies about appreciating contrast in our lives--as we would appreciate the light and dark in a piece of art.  It's the hard times that help us enjoy what's truly going right.

Stephanie lost her little girl Camille about four years ago, and the perspective she has regarding motherhood is such a treasure.

Throughout the day, we had lots of group discussions:

 

 

 

 

To see women gathered in small circles, talking energetically about the family-strengthening ideas that mean most to them, is breath-taking. Our first discussion group focused on the joys of motherhood.  What brings the most joy?  What are the "joy suckers"? and How can we bring more joy into our motherhood?

I walked around and listened in a bit, and the feeling in the room was simply beautiful.  These ladies savor the small moments.  They know how hard motherhood is, but they feel the joy, as well.  They've caught the vision.  They're dedicated to their families and will do anything for them.  I feel empowered by their devotion.

And is it not just so fun to see little babies there?  They are our inspiration.

I snapped a quick picture with our new friend Beth before she had to head off.  Her family lives in Illinois, and they just happened to be vacationing in Las Vegas at the same time we were holding our Retreat.  Her husband sent her for a relaxing day away with The Power of Moms and took the children swimming at the hotel.  Oh, I appreciate supportive husbands (mine included).  And Beth had so many great things to add to the conversations.  GREAT to finally meet her!

Last weekend was my first time working this closely with Tiffany, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  She is one of those "solid" mothers . . . funny, kind, smart, and so focused on what really matters.  (She'll be with us in Park City, if you'd like to meet her on Mother's Day weekend!)

This is the one photo I do have of Tiffany, Becky and me.

I want to go through my notes and record all my ah-ha moments from the weekend because I learn so much at each Retreat.  One thing Becky said that really stood out was that professional athletes, no matter how great they are, only "succeed" somewhere between 30 and 50 percent of the time.  (She brought out a life-sized Michael Jordan cut-out to emphasize her point.)

Even if we, as mothers, only do 30% of what we want to do, that is amazing.  We can consider ourselves professionals.  My husband keeps reminding me of that fact whenever I feel like I'm not measuring up.

A huge thank you to everyone who made this Las Vegas Retreat possible.  It's always sad to say goodbye after a Retreat.  My only consolation is that we can meet again soon.

***

And as for the worthy cause I mentioned in the title of this post, my dear friend Chrysula, who is one of the most kind-hearted women I've ever met, is working with the United Nations Foundation on a campaign called "A Shot at Life."

They're raising funds to provide 1,000 immunizations to children by Mother's Day.  This is definitely something I'm willing to support. (Suggested donation amounts start at just $5.)  

I am incredibly grateful for good people in the world.  It is a privilege to get to associate with you.  Thank you for helping me to be a better mother.

Love,

April

Never Meant to Be Alone

I'm feeling incredibly humbled and very grateful this week. My article at The Power of Moms, "Your Children Want YOU," has had more than 310,000 likes on Facebook and about a million views, and it's been difficult to know how to respond.

I've read every single one of the nearly 800 comments, and oh, the love I feel for the mothers of the world.  I smile when I think of their sweet experiences with their families, and my heart aches for those who are struggling.  I have felt the comfort extended by those who have lost (or are losing) their own mothers, and I feel so impressed with how willingly mothers rally around each other with encouragement.

We are all on the same team.  We need each other.

In fact, the main theme of this week, for me, has been that we were never meant to go through this life alone.  Our relationships our central to everything.

The Power of Moms is more than a website to me.  It's where I gather with other women who want to be their very best.   My dear friend Saren and I have been working on this community for nearly five years--with the help of our sweet husbands and a devoted board of more than 30 volunteers who have believed in The Power of Moms from the beginning.  (They jumped in and worked for hours and hours this week to keep things running.)

About half of of our board members are pictured here:


It's these women, in addition to the incredible members of our community, who inspire me to be present and deliberate in my own home.  They refine my vision of who and what I can be.  They are my online family, and any deliberate woman in the world is welcome to join us.  I love this organization.

My heart is also full of appreciation for my husband and children.  They've been my rock this week--reading the comments with me, taking on extra housework so I can respond to the massive influx, and dancing with me in the kitchen when they can see I need a break.  I know I'm lucky to have them.  Very lucky.

And there's one more thing that has become absolutely clear:

God is here for each one of us--even on those days we think no one can possibly understand what burdens we are carrying.

The emotions I've felt this week have consistently taken me to my knees and to the scriptures.  I can't begin to describe the details, but I have come to know with undeniable certainty that our Lord is aware of each of us.  He has a perfect love, immeasurable power, and a beautiful grace that can sustain us when we feel we have nothing left to give.

I already had a great love of the Lord, but I have come to love Him even more this week, and I can't not be a witness of that love.  He never leaves us alone.

Thank you all for your support.  My prayers are with each of you, and I am grateful for these online connections--when our lives can touch--if only for just a moment--and we can inspire each other to remember what, really, is most important.

Much love,
April