The Power of a Family

Valentine's Day Preparations and a Photo Contest

2012-02-07T21:06:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all your kind comments on Alia's California Retreat wrap-up. I'll be writing more about the Retreat soon, but I can't even express what a huge help Alia is to me. My hands are often full of dishes, laundry, and piles of paperwork, so it's very fortunate that I have an extra set of hands (Grace and Ethan want to start helping too!).

For today, I have a post at The Power of Moms called, "A Valentine's Tradition Your Family Will Never Forget."

It' about our annual "We Love to Be a Family" Day that we're holding again this Saturday. Alia's helping to plan this year's event, but I can't say any more about it because my other children read this blog. (More on that later . . .)

Also, we announced our Photo Contest for the cover of our Power of Moms book today, and we've already received some wonderful entries. I'm seriously giddy about this. Every time I check my email, I see new, beautiful photos depicting deliberate motherhood.

If you're thinking about entering, please do! If your photo isn't picked, there's a great chance we'll still use it on the website. Click here for details on the contest, okay?

One of my favorite parts of the day was when Alia and Grace created their own entries. Here's Alia's:

That melts my heart.

It's time for me to go tuck my children in bed, but I just wanted to record three other favorite moments from the day:

(1) Eating carrots, hummus, and a sweet potato in front of our fireplace with Spencer (those are his favorite foods . . . kind of unique, I know), and having him tell me all about the things on his mind (that's a LOT of information). We read stories, and he gave me a lot of kisses, and I felt so grateful for those sweet moments because usually I'm chasing him up and down the stairs or trying to convince him not to use the backyard as his own private bathroom.

(2) Helping Ethan get ready for school. He broke his arm a couple of weeks ago, so he's been in a cast, and he can't really wash his hand very well, tie his own shoes, or make his lunch. Even though it will be great when his arm is healed, I enjoy having a little extra special time with him.

(3) Sitting around the kitchen table with the X-acto knife, helping my girls to make their cards for Valentine's Day. (They have been super excited about these, and we've been talking about them all week.)

Much love,

April

Our L.A. Retreat . . . Such a Treat!

2012-02-01T15:38:00.000-08:00

Hi! This is Alia, April's daughter. :D My mom is getting the kids ready for bed and getting ready for a webinar with Saren, so I offered to help update her blog! She had a wonderful time at The Power of Moms Retreat this weekend.

Below are LOTS of pictures that she took while she was there, and I will tell you all about them!

My mom didn't take any pictures on Friday during her MOM session, so she'll add one of those later, but it was a great experience, and she really appreciated having Sarah Chapman there to help her!

Friday night, some of the ladies stayed for a really nice dinner that Amy, Susan, and Sarah Chapman prepared . . .

and then they had a delicious dessert. (See how there's a daisy on that cupcake . . . like on The Power of Moms?)

After the games, Allyson played some fun songs on the piano, and my mom felt SO happy to be there.

After a great night's sleep on Friday night, everyone came back to this beautiful house for the Saturday sessions. My mom wanted me to be sure to thank Lisa Palmer for letting The Power of Moms have their retreat at her house. It was absolutely lovely!

This retreat was really special for my mom because her mother, sisters, and sister-in-law were able to come. These are their names (from left to right): Laura, Lisa, Linda, my mom (April), Zoe, Melanie, and Susan.

On Saturday morning, Saren and my mom focused on "Taking Care of the Person Inside the Mom." Allyson (pictured below), provides the "Comfort Food" for all of the moms there by encouraging them to be their very best selves and not to compare themselves to other moms.

This is my mom's friend (and Allyson's sister-in-law) Shauna, who was there with her brand-new baby. So cute!

During the Retreat, they did an exercise called "Thought Replacement Therapy," where moms shared some of the negative thoughts that pop into their heads during the day.

Then they crossed out those phrases and replaced them with better ones. I don't really understand why moms would think these thoughts. Seriously . . . without moms, the world would stop.

It's neat to see all these moms in one room, wanting to make their lives better.

This is Kristi Eyre, Saren's sister-in-law, who just had a new baby!

This is my Grandma Zoe. She was so excited to come to the Retreat.

An author named Beth Aldrich spoke at the Retreat, too. She wrote a book called "Real Moms Love to Eat." My mom liked how she was so positive and encouraged women to take care of their whole selves.

Before lunch, everyone participated in discussion groups out on the lawn. They focused on finding more joy in motherhood.

Don't they look happy?

This is the DELICIOUS lunch--with sandwiches, salad, and cookies from the La Canada Panera.

Here's a picture of Saren presenting Family Systems:

And Susan Chapman talking about Love Languages:

My mom is always sad to leave all her new friends.

This is Allyson Reynolds and Laurie Brooks:

It was Christine James' birthday, and in the middle of the Retreat, the doorbell rang, and it was a delivery person with flowers from Christine's husband. All the moms said, "Awwwwww."

And in the middle of the Retreat, there was a very loud snoring noise. Everyone looked around to see who was fast asleep . . . and it was this cute dog who had laid down right at the front of the room!

When the Retreat was over, my mom and her new friends took lots and lots of pictures. Here are a few:

The moms in the photo above were so sweet and kind to my mother.

The mom in the photo above is named Melanie. Her niece Morgan was one of my best friends when I was two. And this mom below, named Mary Jenkins, is going to record a podcast with my mom really soon.

These are two of my mom's friends from our neighborhood.

And this is Beth Aldrich with my mom:

Isn't this baby darling? He belongs to Sarah Chapman, who helped put on the Retreat.

Here's my mom with Laurie Brooks:

And this is my mom with Suzy and Malea:

This is Daisy and my mom:

These are the presenters and the hostess: Susan, Sarah, Allyson, April, Lisa, Amy, and Saren.

After the Retreat, a few mothers stayed for a Train the Trainer session. They are interested in hosting workshops and Retreats for The Power of Moms. Isn't that exciting?

Then they took more pictures!

My mom got home the next morning and found that we had made a little "house" for our Zhu Zhu Pets. Here is a picture of the King & Queen sitting in their room.

Here are the two grown-ups and the two babies enjoying a "dinner" together.

Finally, we made a little "fish-shaped" swimming pool for them. The only problem was that my little brother (4 yrs old) kept making his little action figure crash into everything. :D

Oh, and here's a picture of many of the women who attended the Retreat. They forgot to take a group picture before everyone had to leave, but this was a part of them.

I hope you enjoyed hearing about the Retreat! My mom will tell you more when she gets a chance. Have a great day!

The Southern California Power of Moms Retreat is COMING!

2012-01-12T12:27:00.000-08:00

Three years ago, I made a vision board to hang on the wall. At the very top of my "Pie in the Sky" list was to put on a Power of Moms Retreat.

And now, due mostly to the incredible work of my Power of Moms partner, Saren, the generosity of Lisa Palmer, who has offered to open her gorgeous home to us for the weekend, and our two amazing Retreat Organizers, Sarah and Susan, we are getting ready to host our 11th Retreat . . . this one right here in California.

April Perry, Susan Chapman, Saren Loosli, and Sarah Chapman -- the last time we were all together -- Dana Point Power of Moms Retreat, September 2010

If I'd never attended a Retreat like this, I would probably be scared to death--thinking things like,

What if the people there don't like me?

What if I don't have anything cute to wear?

What if everyone is talking about how they are perfect moms, and I end up sitting in the corner crying?

I know those thoughts sound silly, but I'm not always rational.

So in case there is a mom out there with similar worries, let me share a little more about what happens at a Power of Moms Retreat.

The purpose behind these Retreats is to gather moms in a comfortable, beautiful, professional setting so we can become stronger, happier, more deliberate mothers.

Every career has training conferences. And whether you work at another job or not, what's more important than raising children? Mothers definitely need and deserve a chance to get away, assess how things are going in their families, and discuss powerful ideas with other mothers. Wouldn't you agree?

When you first arrive at the Retreat, you'll most likely be greeted with a hug (from me, at least . . . I can't stop myself), and then we'll take some time to get to know each other with a game called "Speed Friend-shipping." Every few minutes, we'll switch partners, and after about 15 minutes, we'll all be best friends. Seriously. It happens every time. (No one is crying in the corner.)

Photo by Saren

Then we'll start the sessions, which are basically interactive group discussions. There are a few minutes here and there where you'll listen to one speaker or a panel, but for the most part, the presenters are sharing ideas and then asking for feedback. We're all here to learn from each other.

Photo by Shawni

This picture makes me feel all warm and cozy inside. I LOVE these ladies!

The hardest part about going to a Retreat, for me, is having to leave all my new friends. (Thank goodness we have the website to unite us.)


Photo by Shawni

On Friday (January 27th), I'll be presenting the Mind Organization for Moms seminar, and I'm hopeful that this time I'm going to get some help from Sarah Chapman, who is a pro at implementing the system (and she makes it looks so PRETTY!).

For those of you who don't know me, M.O.M. is my passion. Helping moms manage papers, ideas, goals, projects, and the incessant workload is one of my main purposes in life. The three hours we'll spend together at this session will be magical.

Photo by Shawni

And on Saturday, after we focus on "Taking Care of the Person Inside the Mom," participate in a thought-provoking presentation by Susan Chapman, and hear from Beth Aldrich (author of a book I think you'll love), we'll break for lunch and enjoy some small group discussions--on topics like balance, joy in motherhood, parenting partnerships, and helping children learn to love housework.

These lunch groups are my favorite. It's not like high school, where you have to be "cool" to sit on certain lunch benches. Everyone's invited. Everyone participates. Everyone matters.

Photo by Shawni

After lunch, we'll focus on Family Systems--how to create a family legal system, a family economy, and a strong family culture. Saren is WONDERFUL at this, and her enthusiasm is contagious. Then we finish up with practical ways to move good ideas forward, and we give everyone a few minutes to sit in quiet and digest what they've learned and where they feel is the most important place to start. (The last thing we want is for anyone to leave a Retreat feeling overwhelmed, so we really try to make the transition home as smooth as possible.)

Once the Retreat is over, we talk and talk and talk until we know we need to get home. There are lots of photographs, more hugs, email exchanges, and promises that we'll be in touch. Because, really, how often do you get to meet in a room full of mothers who are as passionate about shaping the future as you are?

It is powerful, beautiful, unique, and life-changing--each and every time.

Click here to read a few letters we've received from participants once they returned home.

If you think there's any way you'd be able to attend, please take some time to review our registration page.

We probably won't be doing another Retreat in California for at least a year, and while we do need to cover the costs involved in making something like this happen, we are very willing to work with you on pricing if you need it.

*We also have a friend who is doing a giveaway (ending tomorrow) for a half-price Retreat ticket. Click here for more information.

I really, really hope to meet you soon.

Much love,
April

It's Not Just You

2012-01-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

I'm over at The Power of Moms today with a post titled "It's Not Just You" (for any mom who feels like she's the only one who isn't totally put together).

And if it makes anyone feel better, I'm still in my sweats right now (un-exercised), surrounded by laundry, contemplating whether or not I'll clean the upstairs bathroom today.

Life is still beautiful.

Family Testimony Journals

2012-01-02T12:02:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things is starting a new year.

Grace made this cute little pop-up card for me that made me smile:

And don't you think the new year is a great time to start thinking about traditions?

At a Power of Moms Retreat, Saren taught us to base family traditions on the qualities we want our children to develop. Since the main goal my husband and I have for our children is to help them draw closer to the Lord, we decided to create a tradition of writing in Family Testimony Journals. This is something we can do during special holidays, birthdays, or meaningful family moments.

I found these nice, leather-bound journals at Target last year for about $10 each, and since they only had two in stock at a time, I went back three months in a row in order to get the six I needed for our family members.

Then last night--and hopefully every New Year's Day from now on--we gathered around the kitchen table and wrote our testimonies of Christ in our journals. (Except Spencer. He had to go to bed early, but he did draw a picture in his journal back in April when we first started writing in these.)

We gave our children the following prompts:

How do you feel about the Lord?
What experiences this past year have helped you to know Christ better?
When have your prayers been answered?
What habits have you developed that strengthen your spirit?
How do you plan to be closer to God in the coming year?

When we finished, we read each other's entries. It was one of the sweetest experiences I've had.

Eric and I work so hard to help our children to know God, and we remind them each day that their testimonies have to come from within. No one can live on borrowed light.

This exercise has also been powerful for us, as the parents, because we can see how our own spirits are growing each year, and we can share that process with our children.

Family living is often chaotic. The workload is heavy, the responsibility is huge, and the rewards aren't always immediate. (Right now, I'm sitting in my pajamas, surrounded by toys, dishes, and little ones who are anxious to get outside.)

But when we take the time to be deliberate--to create traditions that really mean something and build the character and spirit of our children, it all feels worth it.

Do you have any spiritually-strengthening traditions in your family that you would like to share? I'd love to hear them.

Happy New Year's Eve!

2011-12-31T18:13:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to take a moment to send my love to my family and friends (and any blog-readers who I haven't had a chance to meet yet).

Eric and I spent the day organizing boxes in the garage and the attic--while our children practiced barrel-walking, went bike-riding around the neighborhood, and threw water balloons at each other (it was so nice and warm).

I read once on GTD Times that it's less important to set New Year's resolutions, and more important to clear out the clutter in our lives to create space for new projects and opportunities. So I've spent many hours this month turning spaces like this:

Into more organized spaces like this:

One of my posts, "How to De-Junk in a Whirlwind" is up on The Power of Moms right now, along with a recent podcast I recorded with a lovely mother named Tina Marantette.

The main thing that's on my mind, though, is my evaluation of 2011. Simple Mom has 20 great reflective questions posted on her site this week, and it was fun to look through them and consider how our family and The Power of Moms has grown this year.

But the number one question I ask myself each year is, "Have I grown closer to Christ?"

If I've grown closer to Christ . . .

I've been kinder to my family
I've strengthened my marriage
I've used my time wisely
I've gained a greater understanding of who I am
I've served His children with more charity in my heart
I've surrounded myself with people and things that uplift
I've cherished the precious moments around me
I've become less selfish, less obsessed with my flaws, and more willing to unite my will with God's
I've been brave when I wanted to shrink
I've gained a deeper understanding of my absolute dependence on my Creator, and
I've devoted myself to becoming even closer to Him in 2012.

I know I'm lacking in about 10,000 areas, and I know it's going to take a long time to get where I need to be, but as I close up 2011, I feel very grateful for the chance to live, the chance to be a wife and mother, and the chance to grow a little bit closer to the Lord each day.

Have a wonderful New Year!

Love,
April

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-22T18:57:00.000-08:00

My children are out of school for three weeks, and although there is a lot of "life" going on (doctor appointments, the stomach flu, grocery shopping, laundry, home repairs, emails, activities, etc.), I'm doing everything I can to cherish the moments with my children and enjoy this beautiful Christmas season.

My children love buying and wrapping gifts for each other (they've been saving up their money . . . and we're keeping things simple), they join me each morning for scripture study and family exercise, and we spend each day running errands, cleaning, reading, napping (of course!), and doing all we can to make this season a little better for those in need. In spite of some hectic moments, things have been wonderful.

This December is also when Eric and I get to celebrate our 13th anniversary.

I spent three hours making a movie with Alia last night, featuring 13 years of our most memorable family photos set to the music of our favorite family songs. Alia has been scanning photos from our old albums for weeks, and last night after we put everything together, we snuggled on my bed and watched the 10-minute movie--while I tried to hold in the tears. It was our special gift to Eric this Christmas--and a fun "family birthday" gift. I'll post some photos from the movie once I have a bit more computer time.

Tonight Alia and Grace made a cake so we could sing "Happy Birthday" to the Perry Family. They made a card, cleaned up the house, and practiced a little dance for us, too.

It doesn't seem like it's been 13 years since I fell in love with Eric. We've definitely had our share of ups and downs, but I can honestly say I'm married to my best friend.

This is a photo of us from about a month after we started dating:

I know that not everyone has a happy marriage, so I'm always hesitant to write too much about Eric, but I also want to be as clear as I can that we are two very imperfect individuals, and the only reason our marriage is so strong is because we work at it every single day--keeping Christ at the center of everything.

My children have discovered me (I snuck off into a little corner to type this), so I will go get them tucked in bed. I just know I won't be writing on this blog for awhile, so I wanted to say Merry Christmas to my friends and family who read this blog and thank you for your powerful influence in my life.

I hope your Christmas is wonderful!

Love,
April

P.S. We also have a special Christmas gift, including TWO free programs, waiting for you at The Power of Moms (in case you haven't seen it yet!).

Click here to receive your gifts. Enjoy!

Help for a Distracted Mother

2011-12-13T09:13:00.000-08:00

I'm over at Deseret News today with a post called "Help for a Distracted Mother."

Hope you're having a wonderful day!

Love,
April

Candy Cane Airplanes

2011-12-04T16:35:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, our family sat down together and planned our "perfect" Christmas.

One thing we love is making candy cane airplanes. It's a tradition from my dad that I cherished while I was growing up. We made them every year and hung them on our tree.

My dad is almost 80 years old, so this year, we decided we wanted to make candy cane airplanes with the master.

After my nephew's beautiful baptism last Saturday, I took my children to my parents' house for a mini-airplane assembly session. I knew this would be a memorable time, but it turned out to be even more magical than I'd anticipated.

We gathered near the front window and set up our supplies.

My dad is one of the most patient people I have ever met. He worked with the children to get the airplanes just right. We spent about fifteen minutes threading rubber bands through theLifesavers, adding in the sticks of gum for wings, and finally finishing off with the candy canes and hooks.

I think my dad is just so cute.

This is one of my favorite pictures. My mom was singing "Silver Bells" for us, and everyone was so happy and quiet as they listened to the music, made their airplanes, and just enjoyed being together.

There's something beautiful and comforting about joining three generations in a simple Christmas tradition. You can go to Alia's blog to find step-by-step instructions on how to make candy cane airplanes. I love Christmas.

Do you want to share any of your favorite traditions?

Southern California Retreat Location?

2011-11-29T20:41:00.001-08:00

Do you know the perfect Southern California location for a Power of Moms Retreat?

We're holding a Power of Moms Retreat January 28th, and we're still looking for just the right place. If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them!

What are Power of Moms Retreats?

Since June of 2010, The Power of Moms has held 10 Retreats around the country. This page on our website describes the Retreats in greater detail, but our main goal is to gather mothers to a beautiful location and give them an opportunity to strengthen each other, participate in meaningful discussions, and return home armed with ideas and inspiration to help them build great families.

A Day Retreat typically lasts from 9 am to 5 pm on a Saturday, and it includes conference-style presentations (with lots of audience participation), a lovely lunch with powerful discussion groups, and several break-out sessions for small group conversations.

We focus on topics such as taking care of the person inside the mom, establishing family systems, moving good ideas forward, and keeping a healthy perspective on motherhood. Each Retreat has been incredible. Not because we think we're incredible, but because the mothers who attend are deliberate, sharp, wonderful women who want to create strong families. Simply being in a room with so many good women who simply want to grow and learn from each other is powerful.

Here are the details on our location search:

What are we looking for? While we are considering some beautiful hotels and event centers, we would love to find a large home that can seat between 60 and 90 mothers. (We won't be bringing our children, so it will stay very clean!) By holding the Retreat in a home, we are able to keep the costs down and enable more mothers to attend. We are also able to provide more discounted rates for mothers who really want to attend but might not be struggling financially. There is also something beautiful about being in a home atmosphere.

Location: Southern California--within an hour of Disneyland (we won't be going to Disneyland, but that's the general area)

Ideal amenities: Convenient parking, space for lunch discussion groups to be held outside, two restrooms, and the ability to bring in outside catering.

Date and Time: The main Retreat will be Saturday, January 28th from 9 am to 5 pm, but we'll need to set up the night before, and then we'll stay to clean up, so it will probably be more like 8 am to 7 pm. Also, we are planning to do a Friday "Mind Organization for Moms" session during the daytime (either from 9-12 or 1-4), but we can hold that at a separate, smaller location, if needed.

What will The Power of Moms provide? Chair rental (if needed), a catered lunch to be brought in, cleaning costs after the Retreat, plus all the set-up, logistics, etc. Basically, if a homeowner is kind enough to co-sponsor this Retreat, we will take care of all the details and do our best to create as little disruption as possible.

Here are a couple of photos from our Retreats this year:

If you can think of a location that would be right for this event, would you please email april (at) powerofmoms.com and let me know about it?

Thank you so much!

Love,
April

My Stress-Free Christmas Planning Session

2011-11-29T15:00:00.001-08:00

Sometimes Christmas feels like an all-consuming project that sends us racing through malls, jumping from party to party, and being busy-busy-busy as we fill our time with lots of Christmas fluff.
I want something more than that, though.

I don’t want to have to “recover” from Christmas. I don’t want to start the new year eight pounds heavier. I don’t want my children focused only on the electronic gadgets they hope Santa brings. But everything I don’t want will probably become my reality–unless I take the initiative to implement what I do want.

David Allen’s Natural Planning Model (from the book Getting Things Done) seriously saves my sanity on everything from birthday party planning to creating new programs for my website, so this year, I decided to use the five steps of the Natural Planning Model to create a Christmas experience that is both magical and meaningful.

Step One: Defining Purpose and Principles

For this part, I sat down with my children and gave them the following prompts:

What’s the purpose of this season?
What do you want this Christmas to feel like for our family?
Please finish this sentence: “I would be happy with any Christmas celebration, as long as . . .”

Then I took good notes, and the beauty of their responses continues to amaze me.

Step Two: Outcome Visioning

We did this part on a separate day with an informal breakfast discussion, which basically took our ideas from Step One to a deeper level.

My 11-year-old was the scribe: We agreed that we want to be well-rested, reasonably-paced, and organized throughout the holiday, and we’re going to continue exercising and eating well so we’ll be in better health by the time the tree comes down.　

We’re all going to be happy with our Christmas gifts–even if we don’t get the “big” stuff that all the kids at school are talking about. We’ll purchase and wrap our presents by the first week of December, shop together for a beautiful tree that will be trimmed with homemade decorations, and focus the majority of our activities and expenses on making others happy.

Just typing these things out gets me so excited about the holiday season. Certainly, there will be days that won’t go as planned (probably most days), and some of us will be whiny or emotional while others will be frustrated or exhausted, but that’s just life. We can still aim high, can’t we?

On to Step Three: Brainstorming

This step is my favorite because it gives us a place to write all the ideas we’ve been cooking up over the past few months.　

We looked carefully at our notes from the first two steps and then gathered as a family one evening to brainstorm around seven areas of focus. Here they are:

Activities and Outings
Helping Others
Uplifting Media
Christmas Cards
Gifts
Meaningful Traditions
Healthy Food

Then my daughter added an eighth area called, “Unhealthy food.” (She needed a place to include the gingerbread house.)

Photo courtesy of Shawni Pothier

Seeing our areas of focus as clusters on one page helps us to realize that the “all-consuming” holiday planning really is finite. We can create boundaries around our time, we can control our expenditures, and we can make sure our energy is spent on what’s most important.　

In many areas, there’s a clear overlap. Can’t we create meaningful traditions that help others? Can’t healthy Christmas goodies and beautiful music be part of our Christmas-gift giving? Looking at the big picture clarifies everything.

Step Four: Organizing

This part initially feels hard. How am I going to take all these brainstorms and make them manageable?

Simply jump in.

I wrote out all the components and sub-components on little slips of paper.

Then I moved them around and organized them according to priority and sequence.
Here are my three sub-clusters: things to do this week, things to do before December 1st, and things to do in early December.

I noticed that four of these slips contained two-minute tasks, so I quickly accomplished those and then moved onto the next step.

Step Five: Identifying Next Actions

As I was getting all my ideas out onto Post-it Notes, I realized that some things I wrote down were projects, while others were tasks.
　
I created a list of Current Christmas Projects,

and then I created two Next Actions Lists: one for immediate Next Actions–things to accomplish within the next week, and one for important Next Actions–things to accomplish as soon as it’s convenient.

Then I simply put these sheets into my inbox to organize during my next Weekly Review.
I’ll create calendar triggers for the Christmas plans that mean the most to me, and then I’ll just do my best with the rest, knowing that ultimately, spontaneous events might replace those I’ve planned, some of these projects might not seem as important three weeks from now, and what really matters is how this holiday feels.

Your family’s Christmas planning will likely be much different than ours. There’s no one “right” way to do this, but I hope that this exercise using the Natural Planning Model will help you to create a wonderful Christmas for you and the ones you love.

To download your own template like the one in the photos, click here!

My Top Three Home Improvement Projects

2011-11-25T18:30:00.000-08:00

I was looking through my files of current projects the other day, and I came across a folder labeled, "Home Improvement."

Of course, when we think of home improvement, we generally think of things like refinishing the kitchen cabinets, adding new blinds to the bedroom windows, or building a cover over the back patio.

We do have several projects like that waiting in the wings, but there are some more important home improvement projects that I want to accomplish as soon as possible.

(1) I want to speak to my children respectfully--100% of the time.

I've noticed that sometimes my voice sounds pretty frustrated. Sometimes it's because my children are a challenge, but other times it's simply because I'm focused on other worries, and the noise of my family feels like too much.

When I was growing up, my parents never treated me as an annoyance. They were so loving and patient with me, and I never went to bed wondering where I stood with them.

Many times, I would walk into my mom's room and find her kneeling at the side of her bed in prayer. She would immediately stop, look up at me, and hold out her arms so I would come give her a hug and tell her what I needed.

One day I asked, "Mom, what do you tell God when I interrupt your prayer?"

She replied, "I just say that my child needs me, and I'll be right back."

My parents didn't take us to Europe or buy us cars when we turned 16. We didn't have a pool or a game room. And we didn't have a cabin in the mountains or memberships to country clubs.

But none of that mattered. We knew we mattered.

(2) I want to reciprocate the love my children show to me.

Alia and Grace "heart attacked" the office the other night (when I thought they were in bed). They stuck notes on the window,

sprinkled cut-out hearts all over the desk,

and created all kinds of pictures and designs for Eric and I to enjoy.

The following morning at 6:30, I was working on my laptop in my bedroom when they came in and asked excitedly, "Did you SEE it?"

"See what?"

"The OFFICE!"

"Oh no, I haven't been in there yet. I'm just working on a couple of things before I come down to breakfast. I'll check it in a minute."

I should have jumped right up and ran into the office. But I just wanted to finish "one more thing" (I can't even remember what it was now).

They waited by me patiently, and then we did go into the office together, and I "oohed" and "ahhed" over all the darling love notes they wrote, but looking back on it now, my gratitude didn't match the gift. Alia even told me she'd had a dream that I walked into the office, saw their handiwork, and got SO excited.

I'm going to go "heart attack" them back as soon as I finish this post. (Fortunately, I'm realizing where I'm lacking before my children grow up and leave the house.)

Grace also brought me breakfast twice in the past week.

Both times she forgot to make breakfast for herself because she was so excited to serve me--and then later those mornings, she wondered why she was so hungry.

I haven't made her breakfast in bed for months. That's going to change.

My children are so thoughtful. I don't want to overlook their kindnesses and regret the way I spent my time.

So that's Home Improvement Project #2.

(3) I want to laugh more.

Some moms are so good at relaxing and having fun with their families. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being best, I think I'm a 5.

Home Improvement Project #3 is to become a 9+.

It doesn't take that much, really, to smile and laugh during our meals or bedtime. If I spelled out all the things I'm worried about right now, I bet you'd tell me that I have every right to be serious and/or worried instead of light and happy.

But I keep thinking about the words to one of my new favorite songs, "Little Wonders."

Our lives are made in these small hours,
These little wonders, these twists & turns of fate.
Time falls away, but these small hours, these small hours still remain.
Our lives are made in these small hours.

I also think of this image a friend shared on Facebook recently:

I love this, but I don't want to just "hold it together." I want to soar. I want our family to genuinely feel the power that's available to us.

I want my children to think their home is the safest, happiest, most wonderful place to be. Not because the house is incredibly large or gorgeous, but because they know the people who live here are absolutely crazy about them.

It's not a simple job. But it's my job. And that's the most important way that I'm going to improve my home.

What do YOU do to improve your homes?

Happy Fall!

2011-11-24T16:10:00.001-08:00

I think I've slept more in the past four days than in the two previous weeks combined. Sometimes do you just feel exhausted? The Arizona retreat was amazing, and I came back wanting to be a great mom, but of course, that requires me to catch up on sleep.

Here are a few photos from the past week:

Spencer's preschool had a special Friendship Feast in honor of Thanksgiving. These are the kinds of photos I'm going to miss someday:

Grace and I went to the Power of Moms Retreat in Arizona, and I need to do a whole separate post about it, but here's a quick photo of the beautiful home where we got to hold the event (I love our new banner . . . it makes everything feel so official):

And here's a snapshot of one of our panel discussions, led by Saren, with Nichole, Myrna, and Shawni on the panel:

I always joke with our attendees about a common syndrome that many mothers get once they return home. It's called "Post Retreat Let-Down Syndrome." When you come back from a rejuvenating weekend, and your children seem to be arguing a lot, the house seems out-of-control, and you feel like you'll never be on top of things, you just take a deep breath, give yourself a week to recover, and realize that life will look better soon.

Alia wanted to do a photo shoot with all the children, and she got everyone dressed in matching outfits. I was feeling incredibly grumpy that morning, but in an attempt to be the spontaneous, fun mom I've always wanted to be, I took them on a walk down to the park and spent a few minutes enjoying our little patch of fall foliage (most of the trees around here are still green).

I love Spencer's green crocs. He wears them every day.

Ready, set . . .

THIS is how I imagined motherhood:

It's so funny because honestly, life only feels like this about one percent of the time for us. Of course we have beautiful, precious moments throughout each day, and of course we feel an intense amount of love for our children on a continual basis, but the sheer joy in the photo above is what I live for. That's why I'm grateful for cameras.

Grace took this picture on our walk home:

I do love this.

Happy Fall!

Love,
April

How to Be Where You Are

2011-11-06T20:46:00.000-08:00

For years and years of my life, I didn't know how to "be where I was." I know this sounds a little strange, but I'm confident that I'm not the only one who has felt this way.

I'd be snuggling with my husband on the couch, and although I was kind of listening to him tell me about his day, I was also thinking about the groceries I needed to buy, the email I needed to send, and the load of laundry that needed to be transferred to the dryer before it started to smell like mildew.

My mind was also distracted when I was reading stories with my children, eating lunch with friends, working on a writing project, or even trying to go to sleep.

I look back at pictures like this (a 4th of July parade with my little ones), and I know for certain I wasn't cherishing my time with them. It was more like, "Let's get this parade over with so I can go home and make lunch and get everyone down for a nap."

It's incredibly sad to realize that, but I couldn't fully enjoy the present because I was so concerned about all the other things I needed to be doing.

Life isn't like that anymore, and I can't tell you how grateful I am to be able to be where I am.

Alia snapped this picture the other day when Grace and I were doing each others' hair at the same time. I needed my hair blow-dried, and she needed her curlers out, so we worked together. I loved that moment.

This is how our refrigerator looked for the month of October. The "clutter" of pictures used to bother me, but now I can smile and appreciate the love that went into each piece of artwork.

Spencer and I eat a sweet potato on the front porch about once a week, and I can soak up the moments we get to spend out there, one on one.

After school each day, I sit at the table with all four of my children. They talk about what happened that day (yes, sometimes there's quite a bit of tattling), and we make plans for the afternoon (an hour of quiet time is always on the schedule), but even on the toughest days, I feel their love, and I'm grateful that they're so excited to see me.

And I can't help but smile when I see my girls doting over Spencer. I tell you, they have TONS of pictures of him on that camera.

It was Friday, though, that I really started to appreciate this blessing of "being where I am." Spencer and I spent the day with my mom and two of my sisters, Susan and Laura.

We went through an old photo album of my grandmother's, and my mom told us all kinds of stories--about the miraculous healing of my great-grandpa's arm after he fell down the cellar stairs, her storybook days on the farm with Aunt Viva and Uncle Ollie, and how she first learned to make bread.

I sat next to my mom, with my arm around her shoulders, for as long as I could.

We ate sandwiches for lunch while we huddled in the van outside the park, and then Spencer played on the slides until it started to drizzle.

He was so excited to show his Aunt Laura how the umbrella works.

I don't know how many more years I have left with my mom. Hopefully we'll all be around for a long time, but you just never know.

Being able to spend a few hours with people I love means the world to me, and being able to be there while I'm with them means even more.

So what's changed in my life that's enabled me to finally "be there"?

Some incredible people have taught me how to answer these two questions:

(1) What deserves my focus?

and

(2) How do I keep that focus?

In answer to #1, my family members, mentors, and Power of Moms friends have taught me how to prioritize my children and my relationships. They've shown me how to put wider margins into my day, establish firm boundaries around my project time, and create a balanced life (by not getting stuck worrying what everyone else thinks of me).

If you'd like to benefit from these ideas as well, we're doing a free webinar on Margins, Boundaries, and Balance this Wednesday night at 8:30 MT. It's part of our Power of Moms webinar series, and I think you'll love it.

In response to question #2, several excellent books have shown me how to organize my thoughts, tasks, projects, and goals into a trusted system that takes the stress out of my life. I've put everything I've learned into the Mind Organization for Moms program, and we'll be doing a special workshop about this as part of our Phoenix Arizona Retreat on November 18th and 19th. It would be so fun to see you there.

Life seems to get more and more complicated as my children get older (I'm sure I haven't seen anything yet), but choosing and keeping my focus makes life more beautiful than I ever imagined.

Any other thoughts? How do YOU help yourself to be where you are?

"We're Both Being Raised" Webinar

2011-10-27T19:05:00.000-07:00

Six years ago, I started writing about the ideas that strengthen me the most. These are the ideas that draw me closer to God through my mothering and help me to see who He is.

While I have taught several of these principles at religious conferences over the years, the majority have never been published or recorded, and I recently felt impressed to produce a series of spiritual webinars for this blog (and perhaps The Power of Moms).

I don't claim to have all the answers, but if the thoughts I've put together in this webinar can help others to feel how much God loves them and give them the tools to make positive changes in their lives, then it's well worth the investment of time and energy.

Simply fine-tuning this webinar over the past week has been a powerful experience for me. I've felt lifted, comforted, and inspired by the Lord, and I can tell you with 100% surety that He loves all His children.

This webinar is called "We're Both Being Raised."

I'll share five stories with you from my early years as a mother and discuss the patterns that exist between the way we raise our children and the way the Lord raises us.

Click here to watch the webinar, "We're Both Being Raised."

Much love,
April

Creative Activities at Home

2011-10-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

We've been focusing on The Power of Fun this month at The Power of Moms, and I've been trying so hard to be a "fun mom."

Yesterday, Spencer was breathless as he said, "Mom! I want you to walk out in the hall, go down the stairs, through the living room, into the kitchen, out the back door, and go jump on the TRAMPOLINE!!!"

Wanting to be a spontaneous, in-the-moment kind of mom, I said, "Sure! Let's go jump."

Then I heard Spencer mutter under his breath, "But it might break."

We ended up jumping for about 20 minutes (no broken springs, fortunately), and I loved every minute with him, but I've noticed that most of the fun happening in my home is the spontaneous stuff my children do on their own (while I'm busy doing all the "mom stuff").

Life is 100 times cleaner and quieter when my children are "plugged in" to a screen or completely out of the house, but there's a certain level of creativity that's only reached when the electronics are turned off and our schedule is cleared of errands and appointments.

Walt Disney once said, "Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children." I love that.

And sometimes, the best thing I do for my children is give them space to create.
Alia is almost 12, and she makes the most creative snacks for the kids--like these little mice nibbling on some cheese:

When my children visited with their cousins recently, they all dressed up in Halloween costumes and just played the whole afternoon (it wasn't even close to Halloween):

My sister told us about this fun idea--using rain gutters as car tracks. The boys spend hours lining up the tracks and racing the cars across the living room.

And whenever I get out the kitchen food (found at a garage sale for $5), they have such a great time playing restaurant.

This is Grace, taking my order:

I was reading a book on the couch while they were playing, but I had to stop and take a picture of this cute meal. Honestly, I know I'm going to miss these kinds of scenes popping up all around me.

One day, I walked by a little end table in the living room and saw that Grace left me this:

They looked so cute, lined up with big smiles. Then I went in the kitchen and saw Spiderman hanging out on someone's plate of pretzels:

Alia wanted to teach Spencer how to type using the "home" keys. He couldn't see the letters when his fingers were in the right position, so she got out a marker and wrote "A-S-D-F and J-K-L-;" right on his knuckles. It worked!

Family life is a beautiful thing. It's messy and noisy, and there's plenty of whining and tattling going on, but the more I recognize the fun around me, relax our schedule, and give my children opportunities to create more fun, the more I enjoy this whole process of motherhood.

What inspires you to be creative? Do your children participate in any creative projects you think my children would like? (I'd love to hear!)

You can also see what my girls are up to by visiting Alia's Ideas and A Place for Gracie. Have a wonderful day!

The Reason Life is Hard

2011-10-04T01:06:00.000-07:00

My home has been in a bit of an uproar these past couple of weeks. It's been a good uproar because we've been doing some home improvement projects, but I've been trying to mother in a construction zone, and it was much harder than I thought.

However, living with extra dust, noise, and confusion isn't the kind of "hard" I'm talking about today. I'm 100% positive that every person who happens upon this blog has something really hard going on.

Maybe it's something you can't tell anyone else because it's private to you or your marriage. Maybe it's a challenge that's been eating you up inside, and when you wake up in the morning, you instantly feel sick to your stomach. Maybe it's a steady challenge you've had for years, and you can't even imagine life being "normal" for you.

One of the reasons I haven't been a huge fan of "the mommy blog world" is because whenever you're reading about someone's vacation/day at the beach/flute concert/birthday party/family activity, you aren't able to see it in context.

I know of far too many women who get depressed when they see the beauty of another's life, and they wonder why on earth their life isn't that way, too.

Of course, many bloggers do their best to acknowledge the hard stuff and admit their imperfections, but still--there are just some things that no one can blog about, no matter how badly they want the rest of the world to know that they're normal, and so I'd like to offer a little perspective that has been invaluable to me.

Last week, after taking Spencer to preschool, I went to my "special spot" in the house to have my morning devotional to God. I opened my Google Docs to "My Questions," and I looked through my list of 40 or so topics until I found the one that I really, really wanted answered.

This is one of those subjects I can't talk about on my blog. It's the one that I've struggled and struggled with for years. It's that one that strikes me at my center, and I would give anything to have it solved.

As I looked at that question, I saw all the partial-answers I've already received. I have it formatted like this:

Question 17: This is where I write my question.

4/6/05: This is where I write the first part of the answer I received.

1/19/06: And here is where I add a little more insight from the second time I pondered the topic.

11/1/07: And then a little more . . .

Today's Date: This is what the Lord tells me today.

(Maybe you didn't need to know all this, but since it works so well for me, I thought I'd share the details.)

As I wrote the things I felt the Lord wanted to tell me, I learned a little more about why life is hard.

I was going to include a copy of a couple of paragraphs I wrote that morning, but as I read them over again, I realized they're still too personal to post. Here's the essence, though:

I love God, and I am willing to give all I have and all I am to serve Him. Honestly, I'll give Him 100%--no question. But then I thought, "Why does He give me these challenges? Doesn't He already know that I am His?"

That's when the answer came. Yes, He knows I'm His. But He needed my conviction and my devotion to deepen all the way to my core.

It reminds me of my favorite C.S. Lewis quote:

The Christian way is different: harder, and easier. Christ says “Give me All. I don’t want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don’t want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. I don’t want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked—the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.”

Isn't that beautiful? I can't read those words without getting choked up. My mother first shared that with me more than 10 years ago, and I feel its power every time I think of it. The hard times we go through are for our benefit. The Lord is shaping us so we can receive Him. (I think we all know that, but it's so easy to forget!)

When I look at myself, I see my 10 extra pounds, my non-pedicured feet, my graying hair, and my many, many weaknesses. But then I feel Him. And He is Glorious. He is so meek and merciful that He would consider using someone like me--who is nothing--to act in His name. To be a mother. To cherish my children and love them and create a home that is a heaven (well, I'm trying).

I see all the heartaches around me, and I have no idea how to overcome it all, but HE does. He is Wonderful, and my prayer for you today is that you will let Him heal you, love you, and care for you. Because no matter how hard life seems sometimes, He has the power to make it beautiful.

Blessings,

April

How a 17-Year-Old "Planner Girl" Hopes to Empower Mothers

2011-09-22T21:15:00.000-07:00

When I was 17, my planner and I were inseparable. I carried it around my high school, clutching it safely to my left side--always ready to add a drama rehearsal to my calendar or a chemistry assignment my daily checklist. Some people called me the "planner girl," and I considered that a huge compliment.

Twice, I skipped school to attend FranklinCovey seminars, where I sat in the front row and studiously took notes on how to get the most out of my daily planning sessions. Sometimes it felt a little odd to be in large conference rooms with mainly corporate executives, but whenever I could spend time discussing time management, calendaring, vision statements, and goal-setting, I was in my element.

At one of the FranklinCovey seminars, I met Anthony Robbins. I'd listened to his cassette tapes about "Awakening the Giant Within," and I was so excited to take my picture with him. Do I look a little star struck?

Anthony Robbins and April Perry, FranklinCovey Seminar 1996

Fast-forward 16 years: My planner and I are still inseperable, but now that I'm a mother to four young children, life has taken on an entirely new rhythm.

Instead of sleeping in until 11 on Saturdays (yes, I'm embarrassed to admit that, but I did), I'm usually up before 6. Instead of planning dance parties with friends or trying to figure out the best way to boost my college resume, I'm soaking rawhide in the backyard for my daughter's sixth grade project, changing the fifth load of laundry for the day, and trying to figure out who can pick up one child from scouts while another child needs to be at a music practice.

My task lists aren't centered on "me" anymore; it's my husband and family who are my top priorities.

Sometimes I miss the life of that girl in the photo. Motherhood is so much harder than I thought it would be, but when I look at these faces and realize what part I play in giving them a great start in life, I know that there's nothing more important.

While my main mission in life is to care for my family, I also feel like I have a special assignment--to help mothers get organized.

We surveyed over 200 mothers in our Power of Moms Community this week and asked them what is most stressful in their lives. Their answers were achingly similar:

Never getting to do my projects because of the mess
Paperwork! I can't keep up with it
My children! Not enough time in the day
I feel overwhelmed by all the information and papers, and I don't know where to begin to tackle the mountain-load
Piles of stuff everywhere!
Feeling behind in everything
My depression and trying to raise a family
MESS. I can't get ahead. I am maintaining my mess!!!
All the papers that come home from school are overwhelming
Keeping my house clean and making time for fun
All of my different responsibilities--trying to keep them in balance is stressful
More tasks than time
Keeping up with daily tasks; not getting to the things that matter most
Finances and credit card debt
Being sick and still being a mom
My child with special needs
Having too much on my plate; not meeting everyone's expectations

As I read these survey results, my heart could feel the pain that these good mothers are experiencing, and I could totally relate. For many years, I felt so stressed about all of my family responsibilities. I had some difficult (and very painful) health problems, I was up at least twice a night, and I would walk around my house thinking about how everyone and everything needed my attention at the same time.

But then I started reading . . . and reading . . . and applying what I read. And now, while I still have a lot on my plate, I don't have the same stress. I fall asleep easily, my house is in order, I don't have papers on my counter, and I feel like I can really be present with my children (even though tonight I'd completely "had it," and I kind of sent them to bed with a grumpy voice. Just wanted to be honest).

The main way I'm teaching moms to get organized is through the Mind Organization for Moms program we offer at The Power of Moms, but if you'd like to see the "baby steps" version of the program, we've put it into a simple eBook and webinar, and we call it Five Steps to Less Stress.

Click here to register for our free Power of Moms Member Package, where you can download your complimentary copy of the Five Steps to Less Stress eBook.

Click here for the Five Steps to Less Stress Webinar (also totally free).

And if you find this helpful, please pass it on. My main goal is to empower mothers and enable them to really enjoy their families by helping them to organize and prioritize.

You'll be helping to fulfill the dream of a 17-Year-Old Planner Girl.

Love,
April

Our First Couples Retreat

2011-09-15T12:53:00.000-07:00

It's been four days since I returned from the Couples Retreat in Park City, and while our house has been hopping with some home improvement, school projects, preparations for "picture day," and all kinds of messes and squabbles, I've been trying to think of a way to adequately sum up the experience.

Each Power of Moms Retreat I've attended has been magical to me. I love meeting with deliberate mothers. I love sitting in small groups and learning new ideas to make my family stronger. I love having a little break from my daily routine (even though I always return home feeling totally exhausted!).

The real power of this Retreat, however, was seeing moms AND dads coming together to focus on their specific family needs.

Where else do you see couples wrapped in conversation, talking excitedly about what their children and homes need in order to thrive? After watching what was happening around me and feeling the incredible energy, I whispered to my husband, "I've never seen anything like this in my whole life." He nodded in agreement.

Just imagining how these parents are going to go home and apply their ideas hits me at the core. I received an email this morning from a dad who attended the full Retreat, and he said this:

"Words cannot express the gratitude I feel for The Power of Moms. Since my family has been involved with this organization, our focus and priorities have drastically changed."

That made my day.

Here is a photo of Richard and Linda Eyre giving the opening Keynote address. They are fabulous presenters, but more than that, they are fabulous parents. As Saren was introducing them, she said that she could go on and on listing their accomplishments, but the main reason we wanted them to speak was because they walk the talk. After beautifully raising nine children, and being totally deliberate in the process, they have learned a wealth of skills and knowledge that they are now passing on to those of us who are still "in the trenches." (I'm reading their newest book, The Entitlement Trap, right now--and loving it!)

One of the most fun parts of the Retreat, for me, was getting a chance to present with my husband, Eric. (Please pardon the blurry camera . . . I'm going to return it.) We led a morning discussion about Parenting Partnerships--creating a strong relationship from which you can build your family.

We had so much fun working on this that we've decided to start recording more podcasts together (we've got this new idea called "Podcast Date Nights" that we'll be launching soon with our Power of Families website, so stay tuned . . .). If you haven't listened to our first podcast, Expectations in Marriage, it's available at The Power of Moms and in our Power of Moms iTunes feed.

Here's a photo my husband snapped of Saren and her husband, Jared. He is our website designer, and honestly, The Power of Moms would still be sitting inside a bunch of notebooks and Word docs if it weren't for him. Eric and I consider these amazing people as two of our closest friends.

This is Saren, presenting Family Systems with her parents. Saren is the mastermind behind these Retreats. I still get stomachaches before each one, but she is a natural, and I feel privileged to get to work with her each day. Have you seen all the cute videos she's been making for our new Deliberate Mothering series? Priceless.

Tiffany Sowby and her husband, Mike, also did an excellent job sharing some ideas about family traditions and economic principles that have worked in their family. Tiffany was the Retreat Organizer for this Couples Retreat, and she is amazingly sharp. Her blog is one of my favorites.

I had to snap a photo of this cute mom with her little sleeping baby:

And a couple more photos of my new, dear friends:

Mary Croxford and Megan Stewart are two of our Power of Moms Board members (a mother/daughter pair), and it was so fun to meet their husbands!

Koni Smith has been my friend via email for the past couple of years. She answers all of the emails that come through the website, and we were so happy to get to have her at this Retreat.

And here's Linda, Saren, Me, and Tiffany at the close of the Retreat.

If you haven't had the chance to attend a Power of Moms Retreat, I do hope you'll consider coming to one in the future. With our new Empower Program, we're doing everything we can to get the moms who really want and need this experience to have the opportunity. We'll be in New Hampshire this October, Arizona in November, California in January, and Australia in March (I'm getting my passport in a couple of weeks!).

The best part, however, was coming home to my family--and seeing this taped to my desk:

That was from Grace. I love my family.

Love,

April

Happy 4th Birthday to The Power of Moms

2011-09-07T06:37:00.000-07:00

Saren and I haven't been tracking the history of our site very carefully, but I just found an email dated September 2, 2007 called "Power of Moms Launch," so this month, we are wishing The Power of Moms a very happy 4th birthday.

This was my situation at the time of the launch:

eight months pregnant with my fourth child, Spencer (he came 10 days later)
had been working on this website for more than a year with some good friends who served on our initial board
scared to death to launch it because I didn't know if I could keep up with a monthly newsletter
decided I would just go ahead and take the plunge before I delivered my baby (because who knew when I would have arms free to work on the computer while caring for a newborn)
knew somewhere in my heart that this was the first step toward something monumental in my life

Saren and I teamed up just a few months after the site went live (she had a website of her own, which now serves as the basis of our Learning Circles and Retreats), so really, The Power of Moms has two birthdays, but If you're interested, here's what I sent to a small group of my friends at the first launch:

From:"April Perry"

Sent:Sun 9/2/07 12:35 am
Subj:"Power of Moms" Launch

Hello, Fellow Mothers!

I am excited to announce that we have launched the website
http://www.powerofmoms.com/ . This is an interactive website designed to connect
mothers and help them to teach, inspire, and encourage one another. I
would love for you to be a part of it!

We are still in the process of adding more content and features to the
site, but the majority of it is up and running and ready for submissions!
On the site, you will find articles that focus on how moms can look at the
world optimistically (general and religious), journal entries that
highlight special mothering moments, book abstracts to help mothers select
the best books to read, and a forum titled "Moms' Perspectives." We
also have a monthly challenge, a monthly value (linked with Richard and
Linda Eyre's Values Parenting website), and a yearly project.

Please forward this link on to anyone you think might enjoy visiting or
participating. The whole point of the site is to strengthen mothers by
providing a way for us to teach and learn from each other. I consider you
to be outstanding women, and I hope this is a site you will enjoy!

Love,

April

It's now been four whole years. (See my baby?)

Four years of work with women who are like sisters to me. Four years of learning from other mothers who inspire me to be deliberate in how I raise my children. Four years of doing "scary" things every day--and realizing that even though I'm not as smart as I need to be, those who work with us on the site, the community at The Power of Moms (and the Lord, of course) make up for where I lack.

I honestly didn't know where this was going to go (and if I had, I probably wouldn't have been brave enough to send out that initial email), but The Power of Moms has helped me to focus my time on the things that matter most, and if you haven't joined yet (it's free!), we have a great Member Package ready for you (and an exciting Couples Retreat in Park City this weekend).

Such a fun way to celebrate a birthday!

National Entitlement Awareness Day

2011-08-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

Today is National Entitlement Awareness Day, and the Eyres are sponsoring a HUGE Giveaway. Click HERE to learn more . . . and read on to hear how this book has already changed my family life.

A few months ago, one of my children had the chance to attend a professional baseball game with my husband, and that particular child was really excited about getting cotton candy. My husband wanted to make the day extra special, so he bought a nice pink fluff of sugar from the vendor, and our child was all smiles–until the blue cotton candy cart came by.

“DAD! I wanted blue!”

I don’t blame my child for wanting blue cotton candy. I don’t blame children at all for wanting the fun, beautiful, exciting things they see other people enjoying. However, too many parents today (including me, sometimes) aren’t taking the time to sit down and teach their children that they simply can’t have everything they want. Children need to learn to work. They need to feel a sense of ownership for their lives and motivation to do their best.

I've been working with Richard and Linda Eyre these past few months in preparation for the launch of their new book, The Entitlement Trap, and I must say that the principles they teach in their book WORK.

Because I've been studying ways to help my children not feel entitled, I'm more quick to notice "the creep" of the entitlement mentality. Here are some of the changes we've made:

My children did "Summer Goals" and had to work hard each day--learning to type, cleaning, reading, writing, helping their brother, practicing their musical instrument, developing new skills, etc. It's amazing to see how they don't gravitate to a screen as much now that they're excited about other hobbies and activities.
We gave each child a small school shopping budget, but everything else they wanted had to come out of their own pockets. There was absolutely ZERO whining while we were clothes/school shopping (and each child was so grateful for the things they got to buy--even though they didn't get everything they would have typically wanted).
My three-year-old does jobs around the house now in order to earn little check marks on our dry erase board. Ten checks equals a pack of gum, and he is excited to work. The other day, I was taking out the trash, and he said, "Mom, could I help you do that?" A THREE-YEAR-OLD. I was all smiles.

I'm promoting The Entitlement Trap because this is something I truly believe in. There are more problems in the world than I am able to solve, but this is one cause that can help our children, our nation, and our world. It's already helping mine.

Making it Through the Dinner Hour (First Tip of the Day)

2011-08-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

Saren and I have been brainstorming a "Tip of the Day" idea for several months now. We have great new daily articles on The Power of Moms, but many of our readers have asked us to "spoon-feed" them with quick and simple tips.

Every mom out there has tips to share, and we're going to start collecting them on our site. Here's our first one, scheduled to launch as soon as we can get this section together.

My girls were so cute to help me with this, and Ethan took Spencer in the backyard to play when he got a little noisy.

Do you have any ideas for a Tip of the Day?

My "Play-Doh" Post

2011-08-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

I'm over at Deseret News today with a post called "It's Not the Play-Doh I Love."

Today is our LAST day of summer break, so we're off to play for a bit. (Why does school always start as soon as we get into a great summer routine?). It will be nice to have a little more quiet around here, but I've fallen in love with my children all over again, and I am already tearing up at the thought of them advancing to the next grade. This is one of those rites of motherhood I need to learn to savor.

Love,
April

BlogHer 2011 - My First Time!

2011-08-08T00:20:00.000-07:00

This past Friday and Saturday, I took a trip down to San Diego to attend the 7th Annual BlogHer Conference, where 3600+ bloggers gathered for informative sessions, fabulous networking opportunities, delectable food, and a lot of fun. I've been hearing about this conference for years, but only recently have I felt like a part of the blogger crowd (something I never really intended, but which has become a happy stroke of serendipity).

My mind is WHIRLING after all I've experienced, and I'm still playing catch-up from being gone, but I had to take a minute to record what I've learned and share just a tiny bit of the vision I've been privileged to see this weekend.

I'll start with a few photos, share some of the main themes of the conference, and then I'll explain what I'm going to do as a result of this incredible time with BlogHer.

First, the photos.

My point-and-shoot never quite recovered from its recent dunk in the toilet (long story), and my big camera was frustratingly heavy, but here are the images I DID capture:

This is the entry hall at the San Diego Convention Center. Heart beating fast.

Here is the first panel I attended, featuring four talented women, including Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project and Brene Brown at Ordinary Courage. (I need to do a separate blog post on this panel--it was wonderful!)

Me and Gretchen:

The Sails Pavillion where we gathered for mealtime (and even got to watch a flash mob that broke out during lunch).

Friday evening, I joined several energetic, darling women who have been part of the ONE Mom Project, and we watched an advance copy of an ABC news clip that aired later that evening.

It was a joy to meet Morra Aarons-Mele (left) and, of course, spend time with my dear friend (and BlogHer roommate!) Chrysula Winegar (right), whom I've only met once before, but who has become a treasure to me as we've worked on The Power of Moms together. Chrysula is our Director of Social Media and Marketing, and we LOVE her!

I also need to post a photo from my hotel window (it's kind of torture to be in such a beautiful place when you're spending all your time in artificially-lit conference rooms, so I soaked in as much as I could get).

A huge highlight of my trip was meeting Stephanie Nielson, of Nie Nie Dialogues. I've been following her blog for years now, and she absolutely radiates love and beauty. There is so much I want to learn from her, and we're hoping she'll be able to keynote at a Power of Moms Retreat in the near future.

These photos only represent the very tip of the BlogHer iceberg, but hopefully they provided you with the basic idea.

Now I'll move on to the main themes of the conference.

In order to see all the classes and speakers, you can look check the BlogHer website, but these are the underlying themes I sensed there:

(1) Blogging allows each of us to have a voice. BlogHer encourages women, particularly, to share their passions and perspectives, teach what they know, and enable their voices to match their influence.

(2) Blogging fosters powerful conversations. There was a HUGE variety of interests represented at the conference--people blogging about pets, food, social issues, books, fashion, motherhood, politics, travel, entertainment . . . it was quite overwhelming, but what I loved was that there was no "wrong" topic. As each of us write about the topics most dear to our hearts, and as we engage respectfully in conversations with those who are different from us, we develop compassion and understanding, which flows into every other aspect of our lives.

(3) Online communities can unite to create change in the world. I will NEVER underestimate the power of a group of committed individuals. Twitter, Facebook, and blogs might easily be lumped into the category of "mindless wastes of time," but not if they're used well.

(4) Brands are very interested in working with bloggers to promote messages and products and receive feedback from their target markets. I spoke with representatives from some of the largest corporations in the world, and it was powerful to see how solid companies, well-connected bloggers, and some creativity can yield fantastic results.

The people from King's Hawaiian bread were there, for example, with new packaging supporting breast cancer awareness. My children love these rolls, and were so excited that I brought some home.

The Johnson and Johnson company recorded interviews with bloggers on how they are using social media to do social good. You can see mine here if you'd like.

There were also dozens of fun booths set up, like the one by Hot Wheels that featured their new wall-mounted tracks. Brilliant.

(5) Although the Internet is still a relatively new frontier, the tools we have available to us today make it simple to raise our voices online. (Right now I'm on my backyard swing, typing on an iPad while my boys wrestle on the trampoline.) It's not easy to balance all I am doing with the needs of my family, but I've never felt so compelled to do so.

And now, here's what I plan to do as a result of my experience at BlogHer:

(1) Reach out. I don't want to spend my life on the computer, but I do want to invest some time and energy into building relationships with the amazing people out there. Wow, my eyes have opened.

(2) Write as much as I can, as well as I can. I know not everyone wants to read what I write (and that's okay!), but my commitment to families and motherhood can be a blessing to others, and I feel a responsibility to do my part.

(3) Build Power of Moms' offerings. We are in an interesting spot at The Power of Moms because we are both a brand and a blog. Saren and I have huge plans to grow this organization, and while we won't put it before our families, we are doing everything we can to work smart so we can reach these goals and make a difference.

I've written this blog post in bits and snatches, and now all my children are tucked in bed. I missed them terribly while I was gone, but now that I've told them all about BlogHer, they want to come with me as soon as they can. Alia and Grace, especially, are excited about building their blogs, and they want me to teach them everything I've learned. It's darling.

Goodnight!

When Someone Believes in You

2011-07-15T16:23:00.000-07:00

My husband came home for lunch today, and I was telling him all about what Saren and I are doing with The Power of Moms. Our book is coming together (oh, the editing is quite a process, but it IS coming!), our videographer did an amazing job capturing the essence of our April Power of Moms Retreat, which we're now putting into an online multi-media program for the site, our second "Entitlement Trap" webinar is on Tuesday with the Eyres, we've got great podcasts scheduled, our board members are doing amazing things (providing quality content, helping us develop a Power of Moms store, reaching out to bloggers, and running the everyday needs of the site), and we have a Couples' Retreat coming up in September--plus lots of other exciting developments and activities I can't list.

Then we started talking about the "big" stuff--our Australian tour we're planning for March, the PR efforts Saren and I are working on, and our goals to reach the millions of moms who need to be a part of this organization.

That's when I start to shrink.

It all starts to feel so big, and although I want this organization to grow into what it needs to be, I have this innate tendency to want to keep my life small and controlled.

I'm getting outside of that mentality, though, because when someone believes in you, you feel like you can do anything.

My husband is definitely my biggest cheerleader. Earlier this week, I said, "I have a little meeting tonight to discuss PR with one of our new board members."

He challenged me. "A little meeting? There's nothing little about what you're doing here. Are you going to have a powerful meeting where you're going to design an effective program to take The Power of Moms to the world, or are you not?"

I wanted to get angry with him, but he was absolutely right. And so I did (okay, I did my best--I'm still not great at this). With the help of our wonderful board, and all the moms in our community, this organization is going to grow.

Today at lunch, he said, "April, you're shaping the world. Why is it so hard for you to believe in yourself? You and Saren are teaching true principles about the power of motherhood--and you're working with a power that is greater than you. What holds you back?"

I sat on the stairs, put my head in my hands, and said, "I don't feel like a world leader. I feel like the mom who hasn't showered yet today."

"Have you showered yet today?" (Honestly, could he not tell?)

"No," I smiled.

"Well, then, you are the mom who hasn't showered yet today. But most of the time, you do shower, and sometimes you're the mom who's all dressed and ready to go, speaking to women at Retreats, helping them see how powerful they are. Right? Don't underestimate who you are."

How can I not be strong after hearing all that?

And then there's my children. They are my next biggest cheerleaders.

Alia and Grace have been working on their blogs, and they wanted to be sure to have our Power of Moms button on their sidebars.

Click here for Alia's Ideas, and click here for Grace's Place.

They even made me special jewelry to wear to the Power of Moms Retreats:

I feel so blessed to have their support.

And, of course, there's my own mom and dad, my siblings, and Eric's family--plus my website partner Saren and her whole family, who have been extremely supportive and involved from the beginning.

The reason I'm posting all this is because (1) I want to explain that none of this comes easy to me, but I do it because the people I love believe that I can do this. And (2) I want you to know that I believe in YOU. I have absolute confidence that those who want to create strong families, live up to their full potential, and make a difference in the world have the power within them to do it.

And even if you don't feel like you have anyone who encourages you to accomplish what you were made to do, all of us have God. And He believes in every one of His creations.

Dreaming big and going after those dreams is a scary thing. But scary is good. Just join with me as we step outside our comfort zones--and believe.

What I Learned When My House was Quiet

2011-07-10T20:57:00.000-07:00

I feel like a new person after spending the last day and a half really thinking. My brother and sister-in-law were kind enough to take Spencer to their home for a couple of days, and Eric took our older three children to see his side of the family for the weekend, which left me in my house by myself for the first time in 12 years. Our house was so QUIET, but it was a wonderful chance to take a little break.

Although I did miss everyone terribly, I've learned some valuable lessons (which I'll briefly share here since I poured my heart out in the last post, and I don't want to leave you hanging).

(1) Being a mom is very busy. This is another one of those obvious lessons, but until I sat in a quiet house all by myself, I didn't realize how much time I spend talking with and caring for my children. My oldest three aren't home yet, but here's what's happening with my little guy:

Spencer wants to admire each dandelion he picks from the backyard: "See, Mommy! See how this one is all closed up. And this one is tall. And these three go together." He points out that the brown Hot Wheels car is his favorite, and it looks the coolest when it rolls next to the white one. He doesn't like how the reduced-fat string cheese tastes. He gets scared if he plays in his room alone, and he can't figure out how to get his sandals on the right feet. This boy has got a lot to say!

Yesterday morning, right after I picked him up, he sat in my lap and held his cheek against mine. We shared a closeness that I've been missing for several weeks, with all our travel and summer activities. "Mom, I want to be with you for a big long time," he whispered. I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, and the top of his head. Then I told him that I, too, want to be with him for a "big long time."

The talking, kissing and loving is part of what makes motherhood so busy. I haven't valued that enough in the past, so I'm going to start (again).

(2) This time with young children is a gift. One of my questions from the last post was how much a young mom should do. Part of that answer is that I should only do what can be done in the hours I've allotted for "extra" stuff. (I know . . . isn't that obvious, too?) I always try to cram in "one more thing," and that's not the way to live.

Even though it feels like I move too slowly with the work I feel compelled to do, that's good enough. These years are going too fast, and I will just have to trust that the Lord will help me work quickly and effectively in the time I have.

Making time for family scripture study,

cherishing the sweet excitement on their faces when we spend time together,

and watching my children find joy in life's simple pleasures are just three of the things I love about motherhood (among thousands).

It's just a matter of evaluating priorities and figuring out what is most important at this specific time in my life. (Which isn't easy, but thankfully we're focusing on "The Power of Priorities" next month at The Power of Moms.)

(3) Breathing is good. I'm not very good at breathing, in general. I hold my breath way too much. However, this weekend I've made it a point to slow down and breathe between activities. I sat on the couch and read some articles I'd been wanting to get to. I ate my lunch on the porch with Spencer and enjoyed the shade of our tree. Moving at a fast pace, even when my intentions are good, isn't sustainable (or healthy), so I'm going to make sure I breathe deeply and often.

(4) The best way to be helpful is to keep moving and keep listening. I read an article called, "Start Moving" that had the exact advice I needed:

To those of you who are waiting upon the Lord for guidance in your lives--who need help with a major decision or question--I give you this challenge: Prayerfully and carefully use your own intelligence and your own resources to choose a path that seems right to you. Then become anxiously engaged in walking that path. When the time for course correction comes, He will be there to help you and to guide you.

Isn't that beautiful? I'm already on a path that seems right to me, and though I don't feel that I am exactly where I need to be yet, I'm going to pay close attention to opportunities that come to me, and I'm going to listen carefully for further instructions. If I'm consistently asking how I can be helpful each day, I have no doubt that I will achieve that goal.

Time to read stories with Spencer! Thanks for listening, and if you have any other advice or ideas, please share. I appreciate it.

Love,
April

Summer

2011-07-08T15:24:00.000-07:00

This post has been percolating in my mind for quite awhile--mainly because so much is happening that I'm not quite sure how to encapsulate it into one post. Those of my friends and family members who keep track of me through my blog have been emailing me and asking, "Are you okay?" (Because when I go quiet, it's either because I'm really busy or really struggling. In this case, it's both.)

The best way I can think to sum it up is in three sections:

What I've been doing with The Power of Moms
What I've been doing with my family
The two main "life questions" I have, and how I'm trying to figure them out

Here are a few things I've been doing with The Power of Moms:

A fun interview with Sonia at Happy-Go-Baby. Sonia is part of our Mind Organization for Moms community, and she's been working on a darling website with "creative, unique, practical" baby items. I love seeing how this program helps moms move their projects forward. Yay, Sonia!

This recent article at Deseret News: How to Let Go of a Lot of Things a Little Bit (where I tell all about the snags in my carpet, the hole in my ceiling, and the time we taped our car together).

A podcast about balance--recorded on a day I never took a shower, cried to my husband for 15 minutes, and took TWO naps.

Work with our board of moms (who I couldn't live without) as we keep the site running, expand our offerings, network with other bloggers . . .. These ladies are some of my dearest friends. I need to do a whole post explaining how they're changing the world.

A Power of Moms Retreat, which needs a whole post of its own. My new friend Rebecca Walters took some amazing photos there that captured the beauty of the small-group discussion format, and I feel like I made dozens of new friends--women I truly admire and want to be like.

Here's a photo of Saren and me. I am very, very grateful to have her as my friend and business partner.

We also got to hear from Courtney Kendrick, who truly inspired us with some readings about family and motherhood.

LOVE the Retreats! (Have you been to one yet?) We're currently planning a Couples Retreat in September and full "mom" Retreats in October, November, and January--plus an Australia tour in March 2012 (more on that below in section #3--I've never even had a passport, and I'm feeling REALLY excited and REALLY nervous about flying around the world).

Here are a few things I've been doing with my family:

A much-needed vacation to Aspen Grove Family Camp in Utah, where we met up with seven other families who went to school with us in Boston. We also stayed an extra week and visited with my husband's family, Saren's family, my sister Page's family, and some other great friends we haven't seen in years.

The Library Summer Reading Program. We have a darling librarian here named Nancy who makes our trips to the library magical. My children love her and read their stacks of books with gusto.

Housework. Our house is a happening place during the summer. It's hot outside, so we stay indoors a lot, which means there is plenty to do to keep our home feeling "clean enough to be healthy, messy enough to be happy." My children have been organizing, mopping, vacuuming, scrubbing, "picking up," helping with the cooking, playing with Spencer, and just spending lots of time with me (which I acknowledge won't be the case in a few years). We're becoming better friends, and I love it (but I also need a little break once in awhile because the constant action is a little exhausting).

Development. My husband went to Office Depot the other day and found some incredible CD-Roms on the clearance table. Typing software and building-design software were just a dollar each, and my children (8, 9, and 11) LOVE them! We found out that our library has a "Mango Languages" program for free, as well, and it teaches our children to speak Spanish. I've also been working with my children on their "Summer Goals" (also another post I want to write), which has been such a blessing to our family (except that I haven't quite coordinated the goal-tracking sheets yet, so they're more like "Summer Ideas" at this point.

Swimming, jumping on the trampoline, visiting friends, going to the park . . . being kids. I had a good talk with my friend Elizabeth yesterday, who has been a foster mother for years and has lived through circumstances I can't even fathom. Some of the children she works with have been victims of all kinds of abuse. She said, "I feel so good when I can see my children playing and 'being kids' because not every child has that chance." I know it's a blessing for my children to get to enjoy their childhood.

Alia is officially 11 1/2 today, and she is like "Mommy #2." Spencer told his Sunday School Teacher, "Alia takes care of all of us."


Spencer took this photo of Grace in our backyard, and I loved seeing her from his perspective. She is a sweetheart.

My nephew (left) came over for a couple of days, and he and my boys jumped on our trampoline for about 12 hours--sometimes with the hose, sometimes with water balloons, and sometimes just with the giggles. (Spencer wanted to wear his floatee-suit out there.) I love those boys.

And now . . . if you've read down this far, here are the two main "life questions I have, and how I'm trying to figure them out:

(1) How much should a young (I'm 33--that's still young, right?) mother of young children do?

I've always considered myself to be good at prioritizing and "not scheduling too much," but goodness, now that my children are growing up and my website is reaching so many moms worldwide, the options to "do" are overwhelming.

For example, I'm dying to meet Felicity and Naomi, two friends in Australia who are helping to plan our Retreat there in March. Saren and her mom and sister might be going, and I don't necessarily "need" to go, but my husband is encouraging me to do so, and I know I would love the opportunity.

That's one of the bigger decisions I'm weighing, but there are also lots of little ones. I want to take photography classes with Alia and Grace, work on Cub Scouts with my son, and read all our "baby" books to Spencer before he doesn't like them anymore. I have video footage of one of my Mind Organization presentations ready to be uploaded to the site, I'd like to write as a special contributor to CNN, and I'd like to create the five new programs Saren and I have been brainstorming.

I wrote about doing the things that can only be done now back in this post, but lately the lines seem to be blurring as to what needs to be done now and what can wait.

(2) How can I be most helpful?

In my talk with my friend Elizabeth that I mentioned earlier, she told me about her hard, hard life growing up. She wasn't complaining--just sharing her history and explaining why she now takes care of so many children (some adopted, some foster children)--even though she's 65 years old.

Her grandmother was a maid for a family in Florida, and she had to go to work each week, leaving four children under the age of 10 (Elizabeth included) home alone most of the time, and only returning on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. She'd give the children a dollar for bread and syrup, and they would take care of themselves in a house that didn't have a stove, a bathroom, a heater . . . anything. That's just the start of her story.

I hear experiences like that--along with stories about children and families worldwide who are struggling, and they pierce my heart. I can't focus on things like home decor, shades of nail polish, abs of steel, or gourmet cupcakes because there is something deep inside me screaming, "DO something."

I have an education, a home, a husband I love, four healthy children, food to eat, and a platform where I can communicate with thousands of women . . . what am I doing with this life and the opportunities I've been given?

I'm taking today to really think. I'm thinking about my current projects and goals, thinking about the family and future I want to create, and doing my very, very best to hear God. That's the only answer that really brings me confidence: Listen to God.

Our church has temples around the world, where we can go to learn about God's purposes for us. I've heard the temple referred to as the Lord's University, and today I'm going there to talk to Him. It's a beautiful place--quiet and peaceful. I know many religions have beautiful sanctuaries where people can commune with God, and I feel grateful to have our temple in Redlands as a place of Retreat.

When I go there, I feel like I'm "going home." I feel how much God loves us, I receive that sense of calm I desperately need, and I always learn something new about how God works with His children.

Now that I've essentially poured out my heart, I feel timid about pressing the "publish post" button. I keep a separate, private journal because the things that I'm learning are very personal to me. However, I occasionally feel that I should share some of these things on my blog--in case it might be helpful to someone else out there.

Have a wonderful day. I'm off to my Retreat.

Entitlement Webinar (Can't Wait!)

2011-06-20T03:50:00.000-07:00

We just got back from a very nice (and much needed) two-week trip to Family Camp and to visit family and friends. I'll have to post some photos and experiences from that trip soon, but honestly, coming home after a vacation always feels overwhelming to me for at least a week.

It is fabulous to get away from the normal routine for a bit, but the laundry, phone calls, emails, etc. that inevitably pile up need some TLC, so I'm trying to keep things simple and involve my family in recreating the peaceful, orderly environment we so desperately need.

One exciting thing I do have going this week--tomorrow, actually, is our second Power of Moms webinar--this one featuring Saren's parents, Richard and Linda Eyre, and their new book, The Entitlement Trap. (If you'd like to participate, click HERE for the details.)

Since Saren and I have been working closely together for so many years, we feel like sisters, and her parents feel like my extended family. I remember sitting around their kitchen table after our May Park City Retreat, talking about the events of the day and our plans moving forward, and I thought, "How am I so lucky to have these people in my life?" I adore my own parents and siblings, of course, but being able to work with the Eyre family has been nothing short of a blessing.

This webinar we're holding tomorrow night will focus on how to help our children develop a sense of ownership so they don't assume that they are "entitled" to everything they want. I think my children are pretty incredible people, but I want to be sure I'm teaching them well.

When I hear things like, "Our car stereo isn't working, so I think we should get a new car" or "I don't like french toast for dinner" I wonder how I can help my children develop more gratitude for what they have and a greater willingness to help out around the home.

Of course I want them to enjoy childhood (this picture of Grace makes me smile),

but I also need to prepare them for the responsibilities of adulthood.

Since I'm going to be moderating the webinar and the chat feature, I've been thinking about my most pressing "entitlement questions." Here's what I have so far:

What kinds of rewards can I use to motivate my children? I don't want to feel like I'm "paying" them for every little thing.

How much responsibility is too much responsibility for children? How do you find that balance between expecting great things and letting them enjoy their childhood?

How do I help my children to develop a love for giving back?

What are the best ways to show my children that most of the world doesn't have all the comforts that they do?

How can I encourage my children to go above and beyond what is expected of them (and not just settle for "good enough")?

What are the best ways to help my children use their free time in productive ways? Too many hours of computer, video games, TV, etc. often feel like a waste of time (but they still need "down" time).

How can I respond to feelings of entitlement in the moment? Sometimes I recognize it, but I don't know quite what to say (besides, "Arrrrgggggghhhh!").

If you could give me one piece of advice to start creating a stronger culture of ownership and gratitude, what would that be?

I'm getting excited for this webinar! Any other questions you'd like to add?

The Beauty of Doing What Can Only Be Done Now

2011-06-02T10:50:00.000-07:00

Years ago, I sat in my quiet apartment, spoon-feeding Gerber sweet potatoes to my first baby and wishing desperately for a more exciting life. Traveling to Italy, participating in productivity seminars, getting a Masters in Communication from USC--even having some reason to run a carpool sounded much more enticing than the constant work of running our little household and responding to the needs of a very active (and, I must add, darling) baby girl.
Mine is one of the most common stories ever told: I was thrilled to have a baby--then surprised by how hard it was to be a mother. I was committed to doing the best I could, and I loved my family, but in the back of my head, I really wanted something "more." To sum it up, I wanted to reach every single one of my lifetime goals at the same time.
If I could go back in time, I would tell myself about a lesson I learned recently at our local Denny's restaurant. I know--who would expect the children's coloring page to have a profound effect on my life? Well, it did, and I'd like to share it with you (because maybe these ideas will lesson the angst you're feeling about life right now).
This picture below shows two Space Sprockets.

You pop out the colorful templates on the right, and you place them over the blank sprockets on the left. The readied sprocket looks like this:

You simply pick one of the stars on the perimeter and line it up with the North Star on the blank sprocket. Then you color in the parts of the template that match the color of the star. Below, you'll see how the red star is lined up with the North Star. This is when you would hold the sprocket steady and color in those red designs below. Pretty simple, right?

Here's how it looks:

Once all the red spots have been filled, you rotate the sprocket to the next star (in this case, green), and you proceed to color the green areas of the template.

After the third rotation, the image looks like this:

And by the end, it looks like this:

Isn't that a nice-looking meteor? My eight-year-old made his using four colors, so you can see how each part contributed to the final image.

If you get mixed up, there's a little answer key on the back to show you how your picture is supposed to look.

Where on earth am I going with this?

Our lives are metaphorically divided up into a series of colored-star periods. Depending on our unique situations and the speed of our growth, the number of stars varies, but each of us can look back and identify many "times and seasons" of our lives.

It's tempting to want to have/do/be everything all at once, but if we do, our Space Sprocket will end up looking like a haphazard scribble. Does this look anything like a meteor to you?

Instead, each of us gets to identify our "North Star" (a very Stephen Covey-ish principle that I love) and figure out what, exactly, we need to be doing within that season of our lives. This isn't rocket science (no pun intended); it simply requires that we step back, take a deep breath, and ask ourselves, "What do I need and want to do that can only be done now?"

I feel very fortunate to have "kind of" figured that out while I was still spooning out sweet potatoes. Here's what I did:

I sat down one day and wrote, "Before I can be ready for more, what do I need to learn to do well?" I then made a list of about 20 habits and skills I could develop in harmony with my current responsibilities and family situation. And I started working on them.

I used my quiet time to read, think, create "Family Idea Binders," interview mothers I admired, and seriously plan for the future (knowing that there would certainly come a time when we would have two cars, and when my children would go off to school, and when I wouldn't be wiping up a mess every 45 seconds. I am now there).

I cherished my baby (and the babies I've had since then). We have hours and hours of home movies where I captured their sweet expressions, their giggles, their favorite toys, and their delight at experiencing life for the first time. I hugged them, kissed them, and danced with them. Now, my oldest is turning 12 and my youngest is turning 4. Though it pains me to think that 14 years from now, I could be an empty-nester, because I've done my best to color in the "assigned parts" of my Space Sprocket, I know we're all ready to move on.

The end result (which I haven't yet reached, but which I can see taking shape) is that we'll create lives that are beautiful. We'll have lived lives that made sense--that had some order to them. We'll be able to look back and see how we were progressing--even if it felt like our work could have been replaced by an automatic sweet potato-disher-outer.

This type of thinking, in my opinion, is essential to mothers. I hear countless women lamenting the fact that their work as "unappreciated, mundane, and invisible." Of course these mothers won't feel a sense of progress at the end of the day if they see it that way, but what if we looked at our family work a little more closely? What if we stopped trying to color in all the wrong places and focused instead on the meaning of the work we need to be doing right now?

Italy isn't going anywhere, but my children won't always beg for bedtime back tickles. Productivity seminars happen just about every day somewhere in the world, but dinnertime kitchen dancing with my children is probably closer to its end than I know. I'm going to have years to work on a computer and get more education, but I won't always be able to play "House" with my girls. These are the things I need to cherish now.

I still get impatient with my life. I want to see my Vision Board come to fruition, I want to check all the tasks off my "Someday" list, and I want the not-so-fun parts of motherhood to end, but when I start getting all worked up, I think of my Space Sprockets. I ask myself what needs to happen right now, and even though I don't have an Answer Key in front of me, I feel confident that the focused energy I'm devoting to my family right now is central to the beautiful life picture I'm going to create.

QUESTION: What, in your life, can only be done right now?

CHALLENGE: Identify 10 habits and skills that would benefit your whole family if you were to focus on them right now. Then make those habits and skills a central part of your life.

When I Sleep

2011-05-28T07:17:00.000-07:00

I've been a little hesitant to write this blog post (for a variety of reasons), but so many people have been asking me where I find time to work on The Power of Moms while I'm taking care of my family and trying to get in 8 hours of sleep, so I thought I could share some strategies that work for me. (Please add your thoughts in the comments section! I would love to read them.)

I have about 10 minutes before my children will need me downstairs, so I'll make this quick:

My goal is to be present and happy with my family members, get 8 hours of sleep in each 24-hour period, and work efficiently and effectively on meaningful projects when I can.

(1) I don't watch TV (except for an occasional show on Netflix once or twice a week). The average American watches more than 30 hours of TV each week, so if you cut it out, you can get a lot more done (and a lot more sleep).

(2) My bedtimes vary, but here are a few scenarios to get in my eight hours of sleep:

Some nights I go to bed around 10 pm and get up at 4:30 am, then I take an hour and a half nap during the day.

When I have a huge, pressing project, I go to bed at 7:30, get up at 11:30, work until 3:30, go back to bed until 6:30, and then take a one-hour nap that day. I like having four uninterrupted hours to work.

I try not to stay up too late, but maybe once a week, I'll work from 8 pm until midnight, then get up at 6 am, and take a two-hour nap that day.

(3) All my housework is done with my family. I don't cook, clean, do laundry, fold laundry, organize, etc. when my children are sleeping. When they get tucked into bed, I'm either spending time with my husband, sleeping, reading/relaxing, or working.

(4) I do the Mind Organization for Moms program every single day. That way, when 15 minutes pop up, I'm able to focus on the most essential tasks (or forget the tasks for awhile and spend time with my kiddos).

(5) M.O.M. has also helped me fall asleep quickly. When I get into bed, I am asleep within about five minutes.

(6) My situation is a little unique because my husband is actually busier than I am, so his momentum keeps me going. I know that not everyone has a spouse who shares their same drive, so you have to make your schedule work with your spouse's needs. If my husband wants "down time" together, then I take that opportunity. Nothing that happens in my office is more important than him or my children.

(7) I'm excited about what I do (I honestly feel like being a mom and working with Saren and our board on The Power of Moms is the dreamiest of all jobs in the whole entire world). That gets me up in the morning/middle of the night. My work is not something I dread. It's my playtime.

(8) If I'm having a tough week (hormone-wise or stress-wise), then I make early bedtimes a higher priority. This week, I was "recovering" from the Retreat and prepping for some pretty big projects, so I felt more tired than usual. For the past three nights, I've gone to bed at 9:30, gotten up at 5:30, and then taken a 90-minute nap each day.

(9) Whenever I feel grumpy, I simplify my day and get to sleep ASAP.

(10) I probably need to say that my children typically sleep from about 8 pm until 5:45 am. We start the bedtime routine around 6:30 so it's totally quiet by 8. My three "older" children are a huge help with Spencer, so if I'm needing more rest, they're more than happy to get him breakfast, turn on a little cartoon for him, and help keep him quiet for me. My children also do all their own lunch-packing, school prep, etc. I just help brush their hair, have family scripture study with them, and then take them to school. My husband helps out in the mornings a lot, too. We consider ourselves to be on the same team, so we do what we can to make life easier for each other. (This is something I never take for granted because I know it's not the norm.)

Okay, maybe that was more than you wanted to know? Or maybe I didn't answer your most pressing questions? Please let me know what ideas you have or what I left out.

Sleep is a beautiful thing. But so is family. And so is working on exciting projects. My goal is to have the best of all three.

Our May Park City Retreat

2011-05-23T08:59:00.000-07:00

I'm in "catch-up mode" after being away from my home for a few days for our Retreat, but I had to take a moment to post a couple of things I received through my email this morning.

First, our darling photographer, Rebecca Walters, sent us some photos that depict the Retreat experience beautifully:

Aren't those amazing? For some reason, when I try to write about my experiences at our Power of Moms Retreats, I'm at a loss for words. All I can think to say is "Light. Beauty. Inspiration. Nobility. Renewed purpose. Magic." When you get that many mothers in one room, who are truly dedicated to making their homes and families great, there is a unique energy that you have to feel in order to understand.

I need to get back to my little Spencer, so I'll close with this letter we got from one of our sweet attendees:

Saren and April,

I just had to thank you for a wonderful weekend. The retreat was exactly what I needed to fill my bucket. Saturday truly was a feast and I've come away feeling so empowered and, well, really the best way I can describe the change I have already started to feel because of all I've learned is....."Momfidence"! Yes! Momfidence!

I know I'm not perfect and I don't know why I didn't get all these concepts and things before, but somehow in your presentations and stories, I "got it".

I believe last night as I returned home to my children and today as well, I AM trying to be a Deliberate Mother, and I enjoy it!

After Fridays Mind Organization presentation, I found myself a little frustrated that my hubby and I hadn't booked 1 more night in a hotel to really talk about things and have more of a vacation away from it all. Then after Saturdays "feast", something magical happened. I found I couldn't wait to get back to the parking lot where my sweet husband was and then to get home an d see my boys.

Upon arriving home, I found myself relishing every minute with them. The old me would have rushed in the house to see what messes awaited me that I had to get to, swiftly unpacked, etc. I sat on the porch and listened to each of them tell me of their adventures over the weekend and kept looking at all of them and thinking what an enormous blessing and privilege it was to be their mother.

I had the best time on the hour drive home telling my husband all I learned. He was excited--we both are about this fresh new start we feel in our marriage and our parenting. We feel more of a team than ever. He even took me in his arms last night and asked me tenderly what I needed to thrive! I seriously think I've never been so attracted to him, lol.

Well, I know you must be receiving hundreds of e-mails but I did want to thank you for how this retreat has changed my life. I am amazed at how much more patience I have with my children because I have become tuned to my inner voice which has in turn given me more control over my outer voice. I am already seeing more peace, contentment and just deliberate joy, love and strength in our home.

I guess I never fully realized just how much my attitude and how I approached my job as Mom really set the tone and mood and overall effect and feeling in the home. I am doing my best and it is enough and I have Momfidence! Thank you so much. I love you both and appreciate all you are doing to be a resource in my favorite job!

I am so grateful for the chance I have to help with these Retreats. Saren and I try to make it perfectly clear that we are not the ones who deserve the thanking. Anything we're able to do is because of the power of God. We're just filled with appreciation to Him for letting us be a part of this work.

Have a wonderful day!

April

My Future as a Professional Dancer

2011-05-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

I know it must seem a little cryptic as I talk about what's "really" been going on around here, but I promise I'll get to it (this post is a start). To most people, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but for me, it's been monumental.

Basically, I feel like I've finally learned some key components to feeling genuinely happy about life. I didn't even cry during my most difficult days this month (my husband was deeply impressed).

I feel optimistic, excited, comfortable with my weaknesses, yet motivated to be better. I feel a greater desire to draw close to the Lord, and I hear His voice more often. I'm dancing around my house and singing while I work (I haven't noticed myself singing for a couple of months). My relationships with my husband and children are stronger, and I know that even though life isn't easy, it's an incredible experience.

Below, I've included a post that will be published on DeseretNews.com next Tuesday (and The Power of Moms sometime around there, as well). It details my future as a professional dancer (not really . . .. You'll see). This blog is part of my "dance," so sometimes I'll post often, and sometimes I won't, but it's fun to write, and I appreciate you being here with me.

Love,
April

Dance Through Motherhood

Rarely does a story stick with me for 10 years, but this one (told to me by my friend Pam) has: One day, a boy walked into a room where an older man wearing head phones was dancing like crazy. It was almost embarrassing to watch as he waved his arms, bounced his knees, and wiggled his body with incredible enthusiasm. The boy noticed a second set of head phones in the room, and since this man was obviously enjoying himself, the boy put the head phones on his own ears and tried to replicate what the older man was doing.

He shook his arms, bounced his knees, and attempted to wiggle his body exactly like this man, but after a few minutes, the boy got tired (and a little disgusted), threw the head phones onto the ground, and stomped out the door. What was the problem?

He hadn’t turned on the music.

Can you relate?
I often look around and see "perfect" mothers dancing it up, but when I try to recreate their "dance," I end up frustrated and exhausted, just like the boy with the head phones.

If you're like me, you desperately need to dance. There's something inside you that's itching to love your work, love your life, and spend your time doing what you were meant to do.

Does that work with motherhood? Yes it does--and since learning to dance and teaching others to dance is one of my main purposes in life, let's begin.

Part 1: Create your dance floor.

There's a reason why your Senior Prom wasn't held in the midst of a crowded warehouse. You've got to have space to dance. I've spent the past three weeks creating that space in my life, and for me, it involved de-junking my house (and creating a new system to keep it de-junked), spending some serious time doing Mind Organization for Moms, and building reliable (but not unattainable) systems into my life so the everyday routines and responsibilities aren't such a drain on my dancing energy. For more on that, you can join our Mind Organization for Moms community, and I'll tell you all about it.

Part of this dance-floor creation also involved letting go of unrealistic expectations I'd set for myself. Anna Quindlen, in her book Being Perfect, describes it as "carrying a backpack filled with bricks every single day" (p. 11). Let's unite here and unanimously agree to set these bricks down.

I'm not the type of person who ever wants to settle for mediocrity, but honestly, some things aren't worth stressing over (Saren has a great article on that HERE).

Tonight, we've invited a family to our home, and the mother is a concert violinist. My husband arranged for her to bring her violin so she could show our children how she plays it. He also arranged for me to play a duet with her (me on the piano), and he'd like to videotape it for our children.

I have been a mess all morning. I'm not a concert pianist. I've practiced this piece more than 50 times in the past month, but I keep stumbling over the last two pages. I've rehearsed dozens of explanations in my head that I can use when I mess up. I've even considered purposely draining the battery on the video camera so my embarrassment can't be recorded.

But then I realized that it doesn't matter if I don't play as well as I'd like. I'll enjoy the experience, smile when I make a mistake (or 40), and even let my husband videotape the experience so my children can know it's okay not to be perfect.

"The perfect mother (the toughest of all the ideals to imagine!) makes other women feel like failures simply by showing up and showing off" (Quindlen, p.35). We can help each other so much more by showing our imperfections (and how we try to improve them), than by trying to show everyone how perfect we are. And letting go of this desire to be perfect at everything is giving me space to dance.

Part 2: Hear the music.
Head phones aren't necessary to hear the music of motherhood, but an open heart is. Too many voices are out there screaming that women are oppressed by motherhood or that the life of a mom is boring, mundane, and only suitable for the uneducated woman who doesn't know any better. That's simply not true. It's just that the women who feel that way are trying to do the "head phone dance" without hearing the rhythm and melody that compels a woman to live and mother deliberately.

Our goal at The Power of Moms is to broadcast the music. I think of the website as a radio station, playing songs meant to strengthen the hearts and homes of women who want to have an incredible motherhood experience.

Reading and listening to resources from The Power of Moms, inspiring blogs, websites, books, movies, and other places, helps me hear the music every day--because I need it every day. I also connect to God each morning and ask Him to help me hear what I need to hear.

The music isn't that hard to find, but just like a radio, you've got to be tuned in to hear it.

Part 3: Develop your core.
"Someday, sometime, you will be sitting somewhere. A berm over-looking a pond in Vermont. The lip of the Grand Canyon at sunset. A seat on the subway. And something bad will have happened: You will have lost someone you loved, or failed at something at which you badly wanted to succeed.

"And sitting there, you will fall into the center of yourself. You will look for some core to sustain you. And if you have been perfect all your life and have managed to meet all the expectations of your family, your friends, your community, your society, chances are excellent that there will be a black hole where that core ought to be" (Quindlen, p. 47-48).

I meet far too many women who say that the moment their last child starts first grade or leaves for college, they look around their empty house and say, "Now what?" If our cores are not being nurtured from the start, there won't be anything left when we finally have the time to do something with it.

I have to invest some time every day developing the person inside the mom, but that doesn't mean simply imitating what everyone else is doing because "nothing important, or meaningful, or beautiful, or interesting, or great, ever came out of imitations. What is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." (Quindlen, p.15)

I like to write. I like to organize. I like to study and learn and then teach others the ideas that have inspired me. I like the energy that comes from gathering large groups of like-minded people together. I like to help mothers change their thinking. I like to do things that leave others feeling surprised and delighted. That is how I take care of my core.

Anna Quindlen suggests this: "look, every day, at the choices you are making, and when you ask yourself why you are making them, find this answer: Because they are what I want, or wish for. Because they reflect who and what I am."

Certainly, not every part of my life will be fun, but it will have purpose. I clean bathrooms because I want a beautiful home. I get up at 5:37 with my three-year-old because I want him to feel loved and cherished. However, there are a thousand things I simply don't do because they don't reflect who I am. I only post a blog when I have something specific to say--even though daily blogging is a "rule." I don't sign my children up for lots of activities because it leaves me stressed and anxious, and I don't think that's the kind of mom they want to live with.

When we live beautiful lives, reflective of who we are at our cores, we give the world a powerful gift.
Part 4: Dance with everything you've got.
Trying to conform to this image of what is perfect "requires a kind of lockstep. Look at the word; imagine it in your mind's eye, the forced march of the fearful, the physical opposite of the skip and the jump. Doesn't it sound like something to avoid at all costs?" (Quindlen, p. 35).

I've been in this lockstep for too long.

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of articles, books, programs, and breath-taking ideas inside me right now. And as I looked closely at the cause of my recent angst, I could see that the pain of not dancing is driving me insane.

I don't know the "right" way to blog or the "right" way to build a website that's destined to gather and strengthen deliberate mothers all over the world. However, I know that I am much more valuable to myself, my family, and the world when I listen closely to the music and let myself dance.

George Eliot said, "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

I'm starting again today.

QUESTION: What does it mean for you to "dance"?

CHALLENGE: Start today with Step 1 and begin creating space in your life that will enable you to live the deliberate live you've imagined.

Photo courtesy of Franciscus51 at Flickr.com

The FIRST Power of Moms T-Shirts!

2011-05-18T22:22:00.000-07:00

I have honestly been dreaming about wearing a Power of Moms T-shirt for years. We've been working with a friend's company to put together an order, but the details haven't quite worked out yet, and I started to get a little ancy.

So yesterday I bought a couple of white shirts and some iron-on transfer paper and made my own. They're not professionally designed, by any means, but they are mine, and they represent something that's a huge part of my life. Once I finished the ironing, I was so excited that I made a video so you could share in the excitement (but I'm feeling a little silly about this, so I'm not sure how long this post will stay up).

I made this second shirt, too, which I'm equally excited about, but I didn't think it was necessary to record a second video. (And I could edit/rotate the photo, but it's late, and I've got to get ready for the Power of Moms Retreat this weekend . . . yes, I am definitely going to take the t-shirts with me! Would it be distracting if I wore them while I was presenting?)

If you are also dying to wear a t-shirt like this, I put the images up on our website HERE. I'm sure we'll have a wide variety of design options soon, but if you make one of these, you can say that you had one of the VERY FIRST Power of Moms t-shirts. Your children would be so proud. Yay!

Goodnight!

Favorite Organizing Books

2011-05-17T21:45:00.000-07:00

My sister was asking me about my favorite organizing books this week, so I thought I'd put them up here on my blog (and ask for your suggestions, as well). Honestly, I'm dying to write about all the "real" stuff going on in my life (because I'm learning and growing more than ever before, and I'd like to share it), but our Power of Moms Retreat is this weekend, and I have too much to do between now and then, so for now, here are some thoughts on organizing . . .).

I really, really, really like organizing. My life is never as organized as I'd like (because I'd like to have everything perfectly clean and beautiful and orderly at all times), but when you are trying to raise a happy family and you don't want to spend your entire life being a cranky perfectionist, you've got to let some things slide.

My motto is, "Clean enough to be healthy, messy enough to be happy."

That being said, our whole family functions better when things are organized. Here are the books that have helped me attain a level of organization that enables me to "cook on all burners," as my mom would say.

#1: It's Here . . . Somewhere

I read this book more than 10 years ago, and I still think of it every day. It shows you how to take a cluttered house and turn it into a simplified haven in a few weeks' time. I love it.

#2: Getting Things Done

This is an obvious one, since I based my whole Mind Organization for Moms program on it, but really, David Allen does for your mind what book #1 does for your house. That cluttered mess in your brain becomes a simplified haven. Brilliant.

#3 Sink Reflections

I heard about this one years ago, but I didn't read it until last month, and I am kicking myself for waiting so long. It shows you how to create simple household routines that basically keep the house clean without ever having a big "cleaning day." I've been teaching the steps to my children, and they're all pitching in. Now, when we're together on Saturdays, we can spend the day playing because the house is already clean.

The "Fly Lady" has also taught me to take more breaks during the day and spend time doing things that I enjoy. I LOVE this book.

#4 Organizing from the Inside Out and Never Check Email in the Morning

These are two books by one of my heroes, Julie Morgenstern. She has such a pleasant writing style, and she's helped me learn to organize with my family's habits (and not to force my family to develop new habits just so I can organize the way I like).

For example, I used to make the whole family put their laundry in my closet--right into our laundry sorter. Well, one of my children kept leaving piles of clothes behind the children's bathroom door. I kept getting mad and saying, "They belong in the laundry sorter! Why do you keep shoving them behind the door?"

After reading Organizing from the Inside Out, I decided to try something new. I put a narrow hamper behind the children's bathroom door, and now there aren't any piles of clothes on the floor (and my children are in charge of bringing down/sorting their own laundry). Case solved.

Never Check Email in the Morning is a brilliant book, as well. Morgenstern shows you how to make a time map, spend your best energy on the most important, creative projects, and not get distracted by email, Facebook, etc.

So those are my top picks. Anyone else have a great organizing book to add?

Our Day with KSL and "The Book"

2011-05-10T05:17:00.000-07:00

I've spent the past two weeks getting on top of my life. I'll need to do a post later about what that process looked like for me (because it worked, and I'm feeling wonderful now), but I've been thinking, organizing, establishing new routines, creating better habits, and learning to focus the few hours I have to do "extra" stuff each week.

As I pull myself out of that process and back into the real world, I wanted to post a few things about The Power of Moms.

This photo, below, is Amanda Wilkinson, Saren, and me at Amanda's home a few weeks ago. Studio 5, a TV show in Utah, did a spot on Learning Circles (video is at the bottom of the page), and Saren and I had the privilege of being there for the interview and meeting Amanda and her incredible group. It was a "payday" for us to see an actual Learning Circle in progress (that we didn't lead or organize ourselves). They are a strong, dedicated, amazing group of women.

Later that day, we also met with Catherine Arveseth and Allyson Reynolds, dear friends and Power of Moms authors who are helping us do some of the final editing on this book we're dying to get published soon (I've linked to their blogs on my sidebar).

I had only known Catherine through email and her blog, so it was a thrill to meet her in person, and Allyson and I have only met a handful of times, but she's one of my dearest friends, so our lunchtime discussion and book brainstorm session was seriously heaven.

I have about 30 minutes before Spencer wakes up and about 30 things to do, so I'll close with this two-minute clip from Studio 5 that aired yesterday. Although I'm stretched to my limits and working during odd hours of the day and night, I must say that the associations and opportunities that are available to me through this organization are worth every ounce of effort.

Your Name is Safe in Our Home

2011-04-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

I had a friend in college who had a sign posted by the front door that said, "Your name is safe in our home."

That's something I want to put in my house. What a great reminder to me and my family members to speak kindly and gently of others. What a great message to communicate to our guests--that when they leave, we aren't going to gossip about them or laugh at them.

I simply love that idea.

Now I need to figure out the easiest, least expensive, most compact way to put this up. Suggestions?

Creating a Less-"Entitled" World

2011-04-26T10:50:00.000-07:00

I just pre-ordered a book for the first time in my life.

I'm usually really patient with books. I wait until there are used ones on sale through Amazon, I wait until they are available at the library, or I wait until I've read all the other books on my bookshelves before I consider buying any more.

But not this time.

This time, I'm part of a cause.

Richard and Linda Eyre have written a book called The Entitlement Trap, and I can't wait for it to come out this fall because I'm convinced it has the power to change our nation (and beyond).

Something not-so-great is happening to this generation (and the next). People feel entitled to get everything they want and everything for free--right this minute. I don't live that way, and I don't want my children to live that way. But how is this trend going to change if we don't stand up and do something about it?

By getting enough people to pre-order The Entitlement Trap, we can help it to debut on the best-seller's list, which will get people talking about it, encourage more parents to read it, and ultimately, shape the teaching that's going on (or not yet going on) in the homes and families around the world.

Click HERE to learn more about pre-ordering. You can even get a darling Alexander's Amazing Adventures CD for free once you order (my children listen to these every night before bed).

I'm very, very excited about this and hope you'll join me.

Park City Retreat (and a thank you)

2011-04-18T22:00:00.000-07:00

First of all, thank you for all the encouraging comments and emails that were sent in response to my last post. I can see why blogging is such a popular thing--you feel like you can pour out your heart and then be supported by great people (many of whom you've never even met). It means a lot.

I still don't know how this blog is going to work in with everything else, but this week I'm sitting down to do some "hard thinking." I'm ready to focus and streamline my life, and as I sang along to "It's the End of the World as We Know It" today, I felt quite optimistic. THIS is the end of the "try-to-do-too-much" life I've been leading lately. My husband keeps reminding me that the best is yet to come.

So before I go bury my head into my desk upstairs, I wanted to post a few photos from our Park City Power of Moms Retreat. Saren's sister Shawni Pothier sent these to me, and they are just beautiful. (We're doing another Retreat May 20th and 21st, and I'd love to see you there!)

This was the Mind Organization for Moms Seminar we held on Friday. Seriously, I'm speechless when I attempt to describe this experience, so I'll just leave it at this:

And I love this picture because Saren and I each had a "taller" sister there (Shawni on the left is Saren's younger sister, and Page on the right is my older sister). The age difference is about 18 months for both sets.

We also got to meet with part of our Power of Moms Board on Friday night. I love these women.

Top row: Megan Stewart, Rachelle Price, Chrysula Winegar, Lindsay Ruiz, Brianna Monson, Kristine Jones, Chantol Sego,

Bottom row: Mary Croxford, Amber Gillette, Lisa Hawkins, Saren, April, Tiffany Sowby, Mindy Thurston, Alisha Gale, Allyson Reynolds

Here's a "power" pose:

We had a nice dinner together, and it was SO fun to see everyone's faces after months of emailing back and forth.

Although I know it's going to take a lot to grow The Power of Moms, talented women like the ones pictured above are jumping in to help us.

Here's a part of one email we got today with a Trainer application:

I loved the retreat. Thank you so much for all you are doing. I can see that what you are trying to do and the vision you have is VERY BIG. I would be very excited to be a part of it.

And here's another email:

April and Saren,

First of all, thank you so much for a beautifully planned and executed weekend. I can only imagine how many months of planning, logistics, correlation and phone calls it took. And I know there were many sacrifices made behind the scenes to make it possible. So - from one who was touched deeply - thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

Secondly, I am just catching up on my blog reading (haven't been doing as much lately) and just read two similar blog posts from both of you referring to the weight and heaviness of your responsibilites. My heart broke because - in my own way - I can relate. So my question to you - How can I ease your load? What can I help with in the organization that would take some weight/anxiety off your shoulders? Though this is indeed "your baby", there is no need for you to shoulder so much when there are so many willing to help. What can I do to make that possible?

That one left me in tears. A lot of the work has to be done by me or Saren, but there's so much that can be delegated. I just need to make the time to do so. It is incredibly comforting to know that we're not alone in this work.

Thanks to all of you for your support.

Love,
April

One of My Biggest Weaknesses

2011-04-11T12:30:00.000-07:00

Last night I woke up four times with a tight chest--feeling some pretty heavy anxiety. After burying my head into my husband's chest this morning and crying about how I don't want to die, and after he massaged my shoulders and promised to help me through this, I started to do some serious thinking.

One of my biggest weaknesses (I'll just take one at a time here) is that I am over-ambitious. I just get so excited about life, and since I'm good at organizing/managing what's on my plate, I sometimes forget that I only have one plate.

Well, I'm learning now that I can't trick myself into thinking I'm Superwoman. Why I didn't learn this before, I don't know, but at least I'm learning this now.

So until I can get my bearings and figure things out, I'm going to take a little blogging break.

My scripture group met with me this morning, and I can't even explain how much I love these women. They're the closest thing I have to a Learning Circle, and they help bring me back to reality.

They remind me that I can't be all things to all people and that I need to be satisfied with doing my best (which, to me, is like telling a postman to be satisfied just delivering mail to a fifth of his route), but fortunately, no one's bills or packages depend on me, and most of my deadlines are self-imposed.

This morning I also read Lecture 6 of a book called "Lectures on Faith," which taught me that unless I KNOW that I'm living the life God wants me to live, I won't have the faith necessary to handle life's challenges. THAT is my solution.

I'm going to stp back a bit, give my life a hard look, and ask God to show me which projects and activities are most essential. Then I won't deviate. I won't say, "Well, I can squeeze this in," or "but wouldn't it be fun to just . . . ?". I will stick to the plan, listening to the Lord for additional instructions, but otherwise saying no to all those extras that are throwing me over the edge.

I'm not quite sure how this blog fits into the equation yet, so if you see this post up at the top of my blog for several weeks or months, I'm sure you'll understand. There are so many great, inspiring blogs out there that I will continue to benefit from, and maybe I'll be back someday soon to join in the fun.

Much love,
April

Being a Mom in the Midst of Catastrophe

2011-04-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

One of our Power of Moms board members, Melanie Vilburn, is currently living in Japan with her family. I asked her to share her experience from the recent earthquake with me so I could post it here on my blog.

Catastrophes can happen anywhere on the earth, and whether it's earthquakes (like here in Southern California), hurricanes, tornadoes, ice storms, fires, or some other disaster, our families can do some key things to prepare.

Here's what Melanie has to say:

It seemed like a normal afternoon. We live in Japan, so frequent, mild earthquakes are not uncommon. I was up in my room when this one began. As usual, I prayed to know if it was one to worry about or not. Since we moved here in 2006, the answers back have always been, “It’s okay. Don’t worry.” So, as they subside, I’ll calmly go on with my day. However, this time, the answer was different. I was to listen to my husband’s voice. Then, suddenly my husband’s voice called, “Everyone, leave the house NOW!”

I grabbed the baby. The quake grew stronger. I pin-balled down the stairs. By the time I reached the entryway, the earth was rocking and swaying so hard it was all I could do to keep going. The front door was open wide, so I focused outside on my family. Muddy water shot up as tall as me from all around the base of our house. I scrambled through it the best I could. The neighborhood lurched every which direction. Mud started filling the yard everywhere and running down our pathway.

At the street, my husband directed us towards the park. It was just one house away, yet it took such effort to stride there because the ground and our steps were completely out of sync. I looked up and saw the swinging power lines over head and the street lights were jarring to and fro.

At the park, we found a place free of over hanging electrical wires. However, there was a very tall pole with City Hall “announcement speakers” at its top. It towered above the park’s trees. As it wobbled, I nervously kept my eyes on it. Although my 13 year old daughter, Sarah (who we wouldn’t see again until three days later), was down in Tokyo, the rest of us quickly knelt in family prayer.

When I looked over, the ground just a few feet to my right, was splitting apart. The split suddenly ran through one third of the long park. As it widened, it became a two-foot wide gap. Then mud starting pouring out of it. I started scooting away. However, I found there was no where else to go except tighter together. I noticed the ground itself, except for the small circle where we knelt, began rolling in waves. The cement pathway and the street to our left starting cracking and banging and shifting. Two pieces of playground equipment started to slowly sink into the gap. The earthquake kept rolling and kept growing bigger. I think this is about when I started to prayerfully cry and moan, hoping especially the people in the epicenter were alright.

When the massive earthquake stopped, aftershocks started following. Since we live in a sheltered bay, my husband mentioned tidal waves tend to follow as well. So, he quickly ran to get our van. I waited with the kids while he drove over. Thankfully, our vehicle had been pre-packed with 72 hour kits and emergency water.

After he parked, my husband checked his iPhone. Years before, he had worked doing investments with catastrophe reinsurance companies and had bookmarked their website. The website reports earthquakes and other disasters world-wide. Within minutes one can know where they happened and what their magnitudes were. We were shocked. The earthquake’s epicenter had been no where near us. It had been in northern Japan. If it had been this bad here, how much MORE horrible must it have been there? And who would have known it was only the beginning of three major catastrophes that were going to befall Japan.

So, April Perry asked me to write an article up about what people can do to prepare for such big, unexpected emergencies. First, I recommend not living near the coastline. Secondly, don’t live near a nuclear plant. And third, prioritize preparing for emergencies that are possibilities for your area.

The first two suggestions are fairly easy to do something about if you’re renting. If you’re not, you will have to be more creative in your decision making. Property values can go down rapidly after large-scale emergencies. I do suggest living by a grocery store and getting carbon filters for your water supply-double check it, of course, but carbon filters are said to work to clear up radioactive iodine.

Considering the third suggestion, it’s vital to keep in mind some catastrophes are so huge, even if you are prepared, there may be nothing you can do once they happen. However, if you are prepared (to the best of your ability) there will be peace of mind that will accompany you.

Some examples: I see people here that either work for or give donations to organizations that help communities recover after things such as earthquakes. If, for example, you’ve volunteered for or given to reputable organizations, you can know your conscience will not be hurting if a violent earthquake should happen to you. Whereas, someone who knew they could have, but didn’t, will face some regret for those missed opportunities. It’s important to teach your children to volunteer and give to valid organizations too. Help them build “muscle memory” for helping and giving.

There are people who prioritize and store up food, water, and other “essential items.” These tend to vanish from stores after catastrophes. There are websites you can visit that recommend and/or sell, as well as help calculate, what a person’s family-needs are. (See www.beprepared.com) Taste test what you buy before bulk buying it. You’ll also have to research and practice how to cook, store, and cope with what you purchase. That becomes essential “muscle memory” though!

Know, depending on how much is stored, if a family's hope is to glorify God, they’ll be able to serve their communities following huge disasters in wonderful, hope-giving ways. Also, if you had storage before the emergency, you’ll have better peace of mind regarding what others give you if the emergency wipes away what you had.

Basic 72-hour kits fit well under seats in vehicles, along with a couple other “must have items.” It’s also wise to prepare additional 72 hour backpacks to keep in one’s house. They can contain such things as spare clothes, kid games, extra toilet paper, as well as extra portable water filters, just to name a few.

Most importantly, learn how to calm yourself. God can talk to you then.

Lastly, do drills. I CANNOT emphasize “muscle memory” building drills enough. Time them. Find your weak areas through them and then work to make them strong.

And here's Part 2:

After checking the earthquake tracking site, my husband announced our sheltered bay would only have a 2 meter tidal wave at most. He also explained there were three levels of tidal wave alerts. Level one, yellow, is for around 1 meter. It means there’s really not much to worry about, but be careful Level two, orange, is the alert our bay had been given. It means do not go to the beach. Level three, red, is for three meters or more and means evacuate immediately. The bay area where we live is surrounded by a giant 30 ft. wall, so we knew it would be sufficient in handling two meters.

Some countries don’t have sufficient systems in place to sound an alert, yet, for the most part, Japan uses alarm speakers to forewarn its citizens to get to higher ground ASAP! All along the eastern coastline, the website showed red, a level 3 alert. We had no idea what time the tidal wave would hit, yet Chris and I mutually exhaled, “OK, good! At least they’ve got a system to get the alert out, PHEW!” Relieved, our panic subsided so we brought our family back to the house.

When we got there, my husband turned the gas line off. Then it became obvious the foundation was now tilting. Soon after that, we discovered the phone lines weren’t working. Then it became evident the toilets weren’t flushing and the tap water was no longer running. Overhead, helicopters were flying around all over and taking notes of the damage. We also learned a nearby oil refinery had caught on fire.

After that, my memories start to blur. I know during that time my husband and our second and third oldest kids went out to help our neighbors dig mud out from around and under their vehicles. Amidst watching our little ones and doing an inspection of what food storage and water resources we currently had, I kept trying to call our 13 year old who was stranded down in Tokyo. The phone lines were useless though. We found out the train lines were also not working. Many roads and bridges, we’d find out later, were out too. When we finally contacted our daughter later that evening through email, it was such a relief. From there, we somehow arranged for her to stay in Tokyo with some of our friends. Three days later we were so glad she was finally back!

One thing I’d overlooked during the inspection of our emergency storage was that I’d moved our refilled water bottles out to the garden shed the last summer. Just before remembering, and just as I set to the task of making dinner, I, out of habit, thoughtlessly over-squirted a dish with TONS of dish soap and then reached over to turn on the kitchen faucet. As dry air came out of the faucet, I looked down at the beef blood. Suddenly I was so overwhelmed I just needed to bawl. I knew we needed to carefully ration our drinking water for things like dishes and hand washing.

Luckily, my husband was there beside me. He’s been my greatest asset through this. He had been a missionary back during the Kobe Japan Earthquake in 1995. For him this was old hat. I don’t know what I would have done without him! So we prayed together for strength and it was then that I remembered the bottles out in the shed.

Back during an emergency preparedness class, I’d learned to refill large, purified water bottles with tap water just in case of emergencies. Old tap water can be used for washing dishes and hands. It’s also good for rinsing out things like opened cans of tuna. It’s amazing how many things we use water for.

Plain water, itself, isn’t something people here in Japan drink very much of. Mostly they drink green tea or mugicha, a wheat tea. However, Japanese people do tend to leave heated water in their bathtubs for soaking in. It serves a dual purpose, the other being some sort of water resource in emergencies. In fact, that was one of the things all the neighbors were going around making lists of, “Who here has water in their tub?” As Americans we don’t tend to keep our tubs perpetually filled with soap-free water to soak in. I suddenly felt an awful large twang of remorse for not having adopted that tradition here. So...we weren’t able to list that as a resource, yet we were able to hand out purified drinking water, but it’s better to have other options for washing dishes and hands with. So, if you feel awkward perpetually keeping your bathtub full, if you have a shed or a spare cabinet or even a barn, storing up tap water is very wise. It’s also very sanity promoting to store wet wipes, hand sanitizer, and paper ware.

Luckily we also had those bags you can insert into your toilet and the odor-reducing sprinkle kits that go with them. They are not fun to tie and dispose of though and then where can such things be stored? It left visions of our entire community starting to smell like a medieval village. When we found out we would still have trash service three times a week, we were ecstatic! As I’m writing this, though, it’s been 4 weeks since the earthquake and, still, part of our neighborhood, including the school, has its sewer and water out, and gas has only recently returned. Several neighborhoods throughout our town are still in this situation. So, in other words, if you’re going to buy bags and sprinkle kits, get plenty.

We discovered when your family is out digging the neighborhoods free of mud, day after day, dirty clothes start accumulating, as well as thickly caked boots, gloves, and coats. When those days turn into weeks, you can imagine... Our entryway didn’t just turn into a momentary piling place, but a long term mooring place, for all kinds of filthy clothing. It didn’t help that our dryer broke down the morning before the earthquake, we had drying racks set aside though. I had no idea when water would be back on for washing clothes or when we’d be able to replace the dryer. Oh, those poor moored clothes! About a week and a half later cold water finally started to trickle. It took almost another week for the pressure to get strong enough to wash anything though.

Thankfully our electricity was still on through all this, except during rolling blackouts. We were able to use our freezer, fridge, bread cooker, microwave, toaster, blender, and our electric skillet. As a nursing mother, this was a blessing, however I felt heart broken other people were having to go without. If the electricity had been continuously off, it would have been colder, out-of-the-can meals, no fresh vegetables, no fresh fruit, no milk or other dairy products. It was bad enough knowing babies were without mothers up north. School children were having to search through wreckage for food.

It was during this time, crisis number three began to emerge. Due to the tidal wave that hit all along the coast, the Fukushima nuclear plant began a partial melt down. I was surprised. Howcould a three meter sized tidal wave cause such a problem. It was then that we researched and realized how catastrophic and massive the tidal wave had actually been. It ranged from 10 up to possibly even 30 meters tall!

There were more evacuations. News updates using long scientific words (that require a physics and chemistry background to understand) began coming out. All this began to trigger hysteria. Conspiracy theories began to circulate. Headlines, for example, announcing “Another Nuke Blast,” sent people all over the world into a state of panic. A nuclear bomb’s explosion and a nuclear plant’s partial melt down are very different things and I think it was very manipulative journalism. We were not in an official evacuation or “stay in doors” area. However, in deciding what we were going to do, my husband had the physics and chemistry-nerd background to guide us through this calmly. We knew the Japan government as well as the US navy were tracking radiation closely. So, if you’re not having to evacuate, instead of panicking, you can help keep available (or help provide) food and medical resources for those who truly need them during emergencies. And if you’re going to live outside your own country, I recommend learning how to speak the language. That has helped us amazingly in knowing which prefectures radiation-free foods are coming from. Above all, if you or others make mistakes, learn how to be willing and eager to forgive. That’s really what this life is all about anyway.

Thank you so much for your thoughts, Melanie! In our family, we've made water and food storage a priority, and we have 72-hour kits in the front closet in case we need to grab them on the way out (but keeping some supplies in our van is a great idea . . . I need to do that).

It's hard sometimes to make emergency preparedness a priority--especially when there are so many other things that need to be done. However, when I think about how my children would feel if a major catastrophe struck our area and we didn't have the necessary preparations, it breaks my heart. I'm going to work on our car kit, update the clothes in our emergency kits, and do what I can to help my family be prepared.

If anyone has any practical ideas to suggest, I'd love to hear them. Thank you!

Creating Gentlemen

2011-04-09T12:13:00.000-07:00

When I was dating in high school and college, I came to the realization that not every young man knows how to be a gentleman (some do, of course, and I really appreciated that, but many do not).

Fortunately, my dad showed me how a gentleman behaves. He would walk on the "street-side" of the sidewalk, open doors for my mom and his girls, speak kindly and calmly, and show respect for others.

My husband is the same way, and I tell you, it makes all the difference in the world.

Now I have two sons who need to learn these kinds of skills, and I'm realizing that gentlemen don't spontaneously appear. They have to be carefully educated.

So here's a video showing how we're working with three-year-old Spencer:

This little guy melts my heart. He sat there staring through the doors for a couple of minutes, hoping someone would come out and appreciate his door-opening services. I'm thrilled with his love for helping people, but now I need more ideas. What kinds of things can I do to help my sons become gentlemen? Please, please share!

Marriage and Birthday Cakes

2011-04-08T09:17:00.000-07:00

My husband and I had a lot in common when we met and married back in 1998, but we have spent the last 13 years really getting on the same page. There are just so many things you need to figure out when you join your life with another person's--how to juggle responsibilities, how to spend leisure time, how to handle mood swings, how to raise children, how to decorate (or not decorate) the bathroom counter, how to spend money . . . . The list goes on and on.

I have the unique privilege of being married to my best friend, and I know that is a huge blessing. Eric is my number one fan, and I'm his. We know that marriage isn't about two perfect people marrying each other. It's about two very imperfect people trying to help one another become the best they can be.

However, this "becoming" isn't always so easy. Every marriage has ups and downs. Every couple has differences of opinion sometimes. Every couple has to exhibit large amounts of unselfishness in order to create a strong union. It's just part of the package.

I thought today I could share one idea that's helped me keep a bright perspective--even when life has been stressful for our family. It consists of simply focusing on our best moments.

Here's one I think about all the time:

A few months after we married, it was my 21st birthday (yes, I was young bride, but I wouldn't go back and change a thing). I came home from work, and Eric had baked me a birthday cake, on which he tried to write "Happy Birthday April."

We didn't have any frosting, so he mixed powdered sugar and water together and tried to pipe the words onto the cake--except the mixture was a little too runny, so it turned into a gloppy mess. He was apologetic as he showed it to me, but I was ELATED. His effort to make my birthday special was what really mattered. He'd planned a date night out and packed a little picnic, and I was on top of the world.

I keep this picture in a place where I can see it often, and it never ceases to bring a smile to my face.

Whenever we're in the midst of figuring out our "oneness," I think of events like this one, and I remind myself that I am married to a great man. Neither of us is perfect, but together, we are creating the best lives (and the best family) we possibly can.

Seeing Need Points at Work (There IS great hope for the future!)

2011-04-06T12:40:00.000-07:00

We just got back from our Spring Break trip to Utah, and our house is bustling with unpacking, laundry, catch-up, and clean-up. I'll write more about the trip later, when we're not so grumpy from not getting enough sleep over the past couple of days (or maybe I'm the only grumpy one--can't quite tell).

During our drive back (while I was in the back seat relaxing with my older children and holding a grocery sack in my hands in case Spencer got car sick again) I received a darling email from a new friend I've met through The Power of Moms.

Her son Allen gave a speech for a leadership assembly at his school, where they're participating in Steven Covey's "Leader in Me" program. The kids have been reading Sean Covey's book, The 7 Habits of Happy Kids, which is a kid-friendly storybook about Stephen Covey's seven habits, and Allen chose to talk about our Seeing Need Points and how they fit in with Stephen Covey's "Win-Win" principle.

Here's a cute photo of Allen and his mom Kristine:

And, with Allen's permission, here's his fabulous speech:

Hello, I am Allen Jones, and I would like to take the time to talk about habit #4,Think win- win. A win-win situation is when two people or two groups of people benefit from what you do. I would like to share an idea that puts me in this situation.

My mom and dad want my siblings and I to notice when someone needs help. One of my mom’s friend’s thought of an idea called “Seeing need” and we thought it was a good idea so we use it too. When we see a need anywhere that should be done we do it without being asked. Then we go to one of my parents and ask how many points it is worth. For example, I could do the dishes when it’s not my night and get 5 points. We keep track of points on a piece of paper on our refrigerator. I could also stack chairs and organize books at school or church. Putting away groceries or doing a chore without being asked are other ideas. If the job I do is one of my assigned chores, it doesn’t count for points. The most important part of seeing a need is that we are not asked to do it and that we are looking for ways to help others by ourselves.

One of the things we can earn is an extra date night with Mom or Dad, a cooking lesson, a banana split or cupcake decorating party with some friends, and prizes from a prize box that we have at home. I’m really excited about a cooking lesson because I want to learn how to make bread, rice, muffins, and apple pie. Another reward is to be king or queen for a day, which means you can pick all the meals that day and you don’t have to do chores or practice piano. (Put on crown) In fact, I earned enough points yesterday that I chose to be the king of my family today.(Take off crown)

These rewards help to make seeing need fun and exciting but the real reward is the happiness that I feel when I help other people. That is why this is a “win-win” situation. Other people get help and I feel great inside.

This activity has helped me to always be on the look-out for people who need help. There are a lot of needs in the world and as I get older, I hope I will be able to see them and do something about it. I invite you to take this challenge as well. Thank you for your time and have a good day.

Does that not give you hope for the future? I think Allen did a great job, and I was excited to share it. I also love his crown, which Kristine said she purchased HERE.

Seeing Need Points continue to work beautifully in our home. In spite of the squabbling, messes, whining, and all those other aspects of family life that aren't so fun, these points inspire my children to work hard without being asked. This morning Grace trimmed the flowers and swept the porch, Alia bathed and dressed Spencer and then gathered and sorted the laundry, and Ethan cleaned up the kitchen, got Spencer a snack, and picked up all the toys Spencer had dropped on the floor. I still can't get over how well this little system works.

All right, now it's time for ME to go "see need" because my children are getting a little antsy. As The Power of Moms is preparing to publish our new book and put on our Retreats this month and next, I have more work to juggle than ever before (but it's fun work). My quiet times have to be dedicated to these bigger projects, so I try to write blog posts during the quiet minutes when my children are playing in the backyard and I'm working in the kitchen--except sometimes it doesn't work out.

Since I started this post, we've had a ball go over the fence, rust water from a metal step stool drip all over Alia's white shirt, a kaleidoscope break all over the backyard--spreading little beads everywhere, two boys fighting over who gets to pick UP the little beads, Spencer yelling because he can't reach the markers that the other children are coloring with, and lots more little issues that I can't even begin to list.

Life is good, but I think it's nap time.

Love,
April

Everyone Needs Validation

2011-04-01T23:39:00.000-07:00

Last night my sister-in-law showed me this video about validation. When she told me it would last for 16 minutes, I was a little skeptical, but wow--it was well worth the time. My children watched it with me, and it has had such a positive effect on our family.

We went to the movies with Eric's family today, and there was a nice lady from Australia taking the tickets. She seemed a little down (and maybe not in love with her job), and after the movie, Alia went up to her and said, "Thank you for all you do to make the movie theater a nice place to visit." So cute.

Enjoy the video!

Three Ways to Strengthen Motherhood . . . and Change the World

2011-03-23T05:31:00.000-07:00

(This is an article I wrote for our Motherhood Matters Blog yesterday.)

I've had a few experiences over the past week that have kindled a bit of a fire under me:

First, I read this article about a mother who decided to abandon her children to pursue her own goals and help her family learn to be more "independent."

The next day, I had a long talk with a friend who has beautiful, healthy, happy children but is miserably depressed with her life.

I then read this article on CNN about a mom who, along with her boyfriend, beat her 3-year-old for wetting his pants, and then sat watching a movie and eating pizza while he was dying.

Finally, I had a conversation with a fabulous friend in her early 30s who is excited to have children but is concerned that the workload/mommy lifestyle might be harder than she has anticipated — and she's absolutely right. Traveling, enjoying long conversations and spending a substantial amount of time outside don't typically mesh well with motherhood. The realities of this life are a rude awakening for most of us (but, of course, the beauty of it is often a pleasant surprise, as well).

These experiences have led me to ask the following questions:

(1) Why do so many mothers struggle with motherhood?

And, because I don't think sitting around complaining about the state of things is going to do any good,

(2) What can I do to help?

As I pulled into the elementary school parking lot this morning, I explained to my children that the whole reason I work on The Power of Moms is because motherhood IS really hard, but it can be beautiful if you learn how to create a family that "works." My goal is to help moms get the support they need, which strengthens mothers, and thereby changes our societies.

I know I can't single-handedly "save the world," but I thought I could take a few minutes today to share three ideas to strengthen motherhood:

(1) Mothers have to take care of themselves. A few years ago, I wrote an essay called "Mommy is a Person," which emphasizes that mothers need (and deserve) the basics: sleep, exercise, time alone, time to develop talents, etc., but there's a much deeper level of care that I didn't even touch.

If a mother has drug or alcohol addictions, mental or physical health issues, eating disorders, extreme financial stress, or other challenges I can't even begin to list, fixing those problems needs to be a high priority. Those problems don't just go away while we're watching "Dancing With the Stars," and there are many, many organizations out there with resources to help.

We need to face these kinds of issues head on and take care of them. Of course, some mothers are going to feel discouraged and depressed if their house is a wreck, their children are bouncing off the walls until midnight, they never get any time to develop their talents or socialize with their friends, and they're jumping from one catastrophe to the next — without a clear plan for the day. No one expects that kind of life to be enjoyable, but no one is forcing mothers to live that kind of life.

(2) We need to realize (and teach the next generation) that children are not pets. If I buy a dog, and "it just doesn't work out for me," then it's very easy to put that dog up for adoption or sell it on Craigslist. Once I have a child, I am a parent. Without trying to be funny, I'd like to point out that there isn't a "children" category on Craigslist.

This is a serious responsibility, and I don't know if our society just hasn't done a good enough job teaching this, but for some reason, there's this idea out there that parenthood is an opt-in, opt-out kind of thing, like adding caller ID to your home phone service.

Children are precious gifts that we have the opportunity to love and raise. We need to have our eyes wide open before we take on this responsibility. I'm extremely careful to explain to my children both sides of parenting. I let them know that they are my greatest source of happiness, and I love to be with them, but I also let them know that I get tired, and sometimes I want to take a break, and sometimes I need them to help me so I don't go insane.

Mothers, and others in society, need to be VERY clear about what it takes to raise a family. Otherwise, if a mother thinks her life is going to be one Pottery Barn catalog after another, she's going to be running for the hills by day three.

(3) Problems can be solved within the family. Saren recently wrote an excellent post about this exact issue. We don't need to leave our responsibilities to "find ourselves." We just need to be smarter about how we structure our family life.

I know that not everyone has a healthy marriage, enough funds to pay the bills, or support from friends and relatives. But I DO know that mothers have the power to create the kinds of homes they need and want; it's not easy, but it's possible. I've seen it happen in the homes of women whose lives have been harder than I imagined possible, and if they can do it, we can do it.

That's the whole point of what we're doing at The Power of Moms: Retreats, Learning Circles, The Bloom Game, Mind Organization for Moms, daily articles, podcasts and everything else we're in the process of creating. There are tons of smart women out there who can teach us how to love this challenging, demanding, sometimes-chaotic life, and I want to enhance my mothering experience by learning from as many of these ladies as possible.

The bottom line is that families are the basic unit of society. Strong families, strong nations. I know that being a mother is an extremely difficult job. I know how it feels to be stressed, exhausted, discouraged, depressed and inadequate. But I also know that if mothers (and fathers) will band together, pledge never to give up, and do whatever we can to strengthen and support each other, our nation, and all the nations of the world, have a very bright future.

QUESTION: What other ideas do you have for strengthening motherhood?

CHALLENGE: If you're currently struggling with some aspect of raising a family, identify one way you can get the support you need — and then do it.

The New Power of Moms is UP!

2011-03-20T23:34:00.000-07:00

I can't explain how many hours have been spent behind a computer screen (by me, Saren, Jared, Alisha, Lisa, Allyson, and Anna) to get this new website ready to launch.

I owe a HUGE thank you to all the board members at The Power of Moms who make this organization work. They are incredible.

And now that this new site is up, we're hoping to get some regular bedtime hours back in place, and I'm thinking I might actually start keeping up with this blog.

So without further adieu . . . Dun-duh-duh-DA! The new version of The Power of Moms is here (click on the logo below).

You Just Never Know Your Influence

2011-03-15T21:12:00.000-07:00

Today has been a great day, but I must admit that Saren and I are feeling a little tired. We've been working (with our amazing board members) during every spare moment for weeks to plan our April Retreat, coordinate the new book we're publishing, strengthen the foundation of our growing organization, and get our new website ready (you can take a sneak peek at http://new.powerofmoms.com).

I absolutely love working on meaningful projects and associating with the moms at The Power of Moms, but sometimes when I look at the projects around my house that aren't getting done, or reflect on the fact that I have very little "down time," I wonder if I'm being as effective with my time as I ought to be. I try not to let any of this work bleed into my time with my children, so I end up working in the middle of the night, early in the morning, during ten-minute pockets during the day, etc.

Then I see things like this blog post, and I realize that this is so much bigger than me.

A couple of years ago, I wrote an article for the website called "Defying Gravity." I felt like everything in the world was trying to pull me away from accomplishing my dreams, so I decided to start listening to the voice inside that tells me I can become more--in spite of the everyday "gravity," and without having to sacrifice the quality of my family life.

Then Saren and I included that article in our Learning Circles program, and the feedback I've received from that one article--written over the course of a week while I was suffering through some health problems--reminds me that you can never really measure your influence. You never know how something you do is going to help someone else. And you can't anticipate how someone ten times as talented as you are might build on your small little effort.

I see all my flaws very clearly. I know painfully well how much I am lacking, and I know how much work it's going to take to get where I want to be. But at the same time, I have to be satisfied with what I am able to give today.

I think of all the incredible people who inspire me each day, and the majority of them have no clue that they are the ones who keep me going. So today's post is meant to thank the people out there who live deliberate lives, share the beautiful things they're learning, lift those around them, and influence the rest of us who appreciate them more than we can ever say.

Have you ever had an experience where something small that you did influenced others for good? Or a time when another person's life powerfully influenced you?

Beautiful Songs By Jodi Perry and Trisha Perry

2011-03-13T17:55:00.000-07:00

Hi! This is Alia! :-) I am blogging for my mom right now. My mom has been working really hard, and she and Saren are excited to launch the new Power of Moms website this week.

Today we were listening to some wonderful songs that my Aunts composed when they were serving as missionaries. Here's a recent photo, with Jodi on the left and Trisha on the right:

Trisha's song Seguire´ can be heard here (the singers are Trisha, Jodi, and my mom and dad):

Jodi's song Lost No More can be heard here:

In our church, many people spend a year and a half or two years as missionaries, helping teach other people about how much God loves them. My Aunt Trisha went to Houston, Texas on her mission, and one day she was going to attend a baptism, and they wanted to sing a special song for the person being baptized.

Trisha went into a room at the church, and she was able to write an amazing song in under an hour. When she came home from Texas, she played the song for our whole family. Even though it is in Spanish, we all enjoy it (I have even learned to play it on the piano!).

These are the words in Spanish:

Seguire

Aqui estoy entrando por la puerta que El me enseno
Aqui estoy cambiando y dejando que El me limpie
Aqui estoy en este camino estrecho, y en me quedare
Aqui estoy testificando de Su amor, y siempre lo hare

Chorus:
Y seguire adelante con firmeza en Cristo
Y seguire adelante con fulgor de esperanza y amor
Y seguire

Desde hoy prometo seguirle y confiar en El
Desde hoy yo dejo atras los errores, y recibo de Su gran paz
Desde hoy yo hago convenios con El, y a ellos sere yo fiel
Desde hoy soy seguidor de Cristo, y mas como El espero ser

Chorus

For those of you who don't speak Spanish, here is the translation (the best we could do):

Seguire

Here I am, entering through the door that He has shown me.
Here I am, changing and allowing Him to cleanse me.
Here I am, on this narrow path, and on it I will stay.
Here I am, witnessing of His love, and I always will.

Chorus:
And I will continue forward with a steadfastness in Christ.
And I will continue forward with a brightness of hope and love.
And I will continue.

From today, I promise to follow and trust Him.
From today, I leave behind the errors and receive His great peace.
From today, I make covenants with Him, and to them I will be faithful.
From today, I am a follower of Christ, and more like Him I hope to be.

A few years after my Aunt Trisha came home, my Aunt Jodi went on her mission to Baguio, Philippines. She also wrote a song (in English only).

Here are the words to her song:

Lost No More
All we like sheep have gone astray,
Far from the Shepherd's care.
Once lost and scared, so far from home,
With helpless feelings of despair.

Sitting in the darkness, alone and cold.
I say a silent prayer:
Lord, forgive me, I've lost my way,
And I know not where to go.

Chorus:
The Voice of the Shepherd calls to me,
I see Him standing there so lovingly.
He's calling me by name,
In Him I find strength to return,
I AM LOST NO MORE

His arms outstretched, I run to Him and embrace my Shepherd there.
His Gentle voice speaks peace to me, and remind's me He's always there.
Into His fold I go, I'm home, and there I will remain,
My Shepherd called my name,
I am lost no more.

(Chorus)

My Shepherd called my name,
I am lost no more.

I think that they did a great job with their songs. We love you, Trisha and Jodi!

Love, Alia and April

The Ups and Downs of Motherhood

2011-03-03T11:47:00.000-08:00

Today I took Spencer with me to the grocery store, and I was amazed at how much fun it was to be with him.

He hopped on one foot throughout about half of the aisles--with a big smile on his face. Every few seconds he'd yell out, "I'm HOPPING!!!" (This is a new skill.)

He got really excited about these shamrock cookies they had on display, so I just had to give him one, and he marveled at it with huge eyes as he said, "I can eat it? Please?"

Then he wanted to help me bag the fruit, and he loved counting the pears, and then he showed me how he can walk backwards, and then he kissed me at least six times before we'd finished with the produce.

I thought, "Wow. Grocery shopping is so much fun when you have a little guy with you."

And then we got home.

Spencer didn't want to get out of the van, so he started jumping back and forth over all the seats, finally ending up in the driver's seat--which is a train wreck waiting to happen because he shoves things into the CD player (which hasn't worked for 9 months now, thanks to Spencer), and he turns on the windshield wipers, lights, etc. I tried to grab him, and that turned into a 15-minute tantrum where I had to strap him in the stroller to keep him from hurting himself (and me), and then I had to bring in all the groceries while he screamed and kicked and wailed at the top of his lungs. Fortunately, I have patient neighbors.

Once he finally agreed to say, "I'm sorry I was mean Mommy, and I will choose to be nice now," I let him out of the stroller, and he helped me bring in the groceries. Except "bringing in the groceries" means picking something out of a grocery sack and flinging it into the kitchen--yogurt, frozen veggies, sacks of peaches . . . . Yep, we ended up with about 20 peaches (good sale) ALL over the garage floor, and then he wanted to pick them all up HIMSELF while I held the bag for him, and that took about 3 minutes.

But finally, I got him some food, and he calmed down, and it's now naptime.

Isn't motherhood fun?

Survey Results from The Power of Moms

2011-03-02T19:05:00.000-08:00

We did a survey last week and asked our readers why they visit The Power of Moms. Here's what they had to say:

Articles are encouraging and empowering. I don't feel alone in the struggle to be a good mom.

Honest stories about the ups and downs of motherhood.

It gives me a daily reminder to look at motherhood in a positive light.

To be uplifted and encouraged and to see that I'm not the only one going through the issues I'm having as a mother.

Connection to other mothers who are trying to parent on purpose.

Inspiration, Ideas, Motivation

It encompasses everything I hope to use to follow my passion of helping other moms on their journey.

I have just discovered your site so I look forward to exploring it more and more. I have felt on more than one occasion that what I am reading is inspired and what I needed in that moment. I come to your site for ideas on how to take care of the woman within and to be inspired to be a better mother on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. I think what you offer is education, ideas, and support.

Primarily the opportunity to connect with moms in a powerful way. I appreciate the blog posts/articles because it increases my sense of connection with other like minded moms. I also appreciate how diligent the founders are in presenting new, creative and varied ways of linking mothers together.

I love grounding myself in good principles. I find direction when I visit the site. I find comfort and strength in seeing the trials and triumphs of other intentional mothers.

I love that the emphasis is on positive mothering and that it is a deliberate choice. Perfection is not necessary to be a great mother!

This is what I want to be a part of.

It "professionalizes" being a mom. It takes being a mom seriously, the good and the bad. I come because reading the articles makes me feel validated.

I come to the website to read and gather great thoughts and ideas of other moms that help me improve myself and my family life.

I love to learn and find out more about ways that make motherhood an easier task or help me be a better mom.

How inclusive the reach is; it's not just for one "kind" of mom--it's for purposeful moms.

To be a better mum, a more organised mum and one that still has God at the forefront of her life.

Women need to realize that there is a strength from working together. We will find much more power and success for ourselves and our families if we learn from each other. This website offers opportunities for that specific type of learning in real time.

To help me grow in my mothering journey in becoming the type of Mum I want to be. The ideas offered are wonderful at helping me see either that other people do this too / feel this way too, or give me food for thought of ways I can be a better Mum right now, or where I'd like to be heading.

I have a hard job as a mother and I appreciate insights others have and love to hear about what worked or didn't for them so I have new ideas to work with.

I want to be a better Mom. I just need role models and ideas, because the world does not have the Mom that I envision portrayed, and Power of Moms does.

I think it's important for all the moms out there to know that their motherhood is powerful. Mothers can change the world through the way they raise and teach their children. It's nice for us all to know we're not alone.

I come for daily inspiration. I love it. It has changed the way I view mothering and the way I mother.

Uplifting

I don't have like minded moms around so I like coming to the site and feeling like some of my opinions about mothering and my family are validated as other moms feel the same way.

For ways to keep at it as a mom. When on the site I realize am not alone in my endeavors to raise a happy child while keeping my sanity.

Because I like to see that other moms have similar thoughts and daily trials as I do. It helps me to fully enjoy being a mom!

The positive and realistic approach (through your articles-I haven't had a chance to attend one of your retreats) to not just how to be a better mother, but how to be a better person. It is all intertwined-when we try to better ourselves, our family benefits. The same goes for working on being a better mom, it helps us become a better person. It is so easy to feel like I get "lost" in being a mom, without taking time for myself. Your website has the tools to help me balance both.

The tone of the site and voices of the moms who contribute to it

I love the feeling of having unlimited support. It is hard to find friends that have the are inspiring and try to uplift instead of complain. I get that from Power of Moms. I can't wait until I can attend a retreat

Power of Moms is so important because not everyone knows how difficult and important the work of a mother is. To have a place to support each other and to explain to the world the difficulties and the triumphs and the power of positive mothering is life changing and world changing. I also love how the Bloom Game gives me a way to progressively improve in a customized way that doesn't overwhelm me. Mothers are overwhelmed and this site and the game make it more manageable and more supportive. Um, just thanks.

It is good to have moms that support each other.

I love reading articles by other Moms and seeing how we all struggle with similar things and how people seal with their challenges.

I have enjoyed being a Learning Circle leader, and have seen the help and hope Learning Circle material has given to those in my group. I visit the website to get new ideas on how to handle age-old problems we are constantly dealing with as mothers.

I've recently joined because of the Mind Organization that was offered. I've enjoyed my recent visits to your website because of the great articles I read regarding motherhood. I look forward to learning more about becoming the mom I want to be.

I love the articles. I usually identify with the topics presented and almost always laugh out loud while reading them to myself. It makes me feel that I'm not alone in my mothering journey and I appreciate the candor, but always positive spin from the writers. I also appreciate the quality of the writing. That's why I have not applied for entrance into this "writers' club". Almost all of them are articulate and clear all the while keeping the feeling of their pieces light and happy. This is a great boon to my spirits as I prepare to enter the trenches one more day...and hopefully love it as much as they do.

I usually enjoy reading articles that apply to some of my personal challenges. I usually come away with a new idea or just encouragement to keep on going with the challenges I face as a mom and usually feel validated in the sense that I am not alone. I like knowing that my challenges are not just my own but that others have similar challenges and are finding ways to overcome them. It gives me hope.

I come because every time I do....I leave feeling empowered to be a better mom and woman. I love the encouragement, the ideas, and the feeling of unity.

Thanks to everyone for filling out our survey. We appreciate you and love working with you.

Answers to All My Questions

2011-02-24T09:06:00.000-08:00

My heart has been reaching beyond my physical capacities lately. Every time my husband comes home for lunch, I'm telling him about a non-profit venture I want to start, a child at school I feel compelled to take under my wing, or a dear friend who I desperately need to visit.

My husband and I are on the same page as far as how we want to spend our lives. We know our time, energies, and talents weren't meant just for us, and we're willing to do whatever we can to serve God for as many years as we're permitted to stay here (though Eric's determined to cap out at 85, and I keep pushing for 100).

Although our hearts are in the right place, we can't do everything we'd like to do in one lifetime, and right now we have four little children who need us, bills to pay, and lots of responsibilities (you know the drill).

So today I was asking the Lord, "How can I be more helpful?" And the thought came to my mind that I could share how I receive peace, comfort, and knowledge from the True Source.

I can't be everywhere at once, but the Spirit of the Lord can, and that's actually a much better deal because God is the one who knows each of us personally, who has all power, and who knows "how to succor His people in their afflictions."

I don't have a doctorate in Theology, and I don't have "credentials" to teach the things of God, but I know Him. I make it a point to connect with Him on a daily basis, and I hear His voice regularly. I've felt timid about putting the sacred things of my heart on this blog (so there's a lot I won't say), but I hope the ideas that I'll share here from time to time will be helpful.

If you're having a tough time right now with anything in your life (which is highly likely, since all of us have struggles), the first thing you need to know is that you have a Father in Heaven who is aware of you. He created you, He loves you, and He is available to help you receive all the blessings you need.

For today's post, I'm going to describe the process I go through to receive the answers to all my questions. The word "all" isn't an understatement--I'll describe that more later.

The fact is that I am just not smart enough to know how to handle all the challenges and opportunities that come my way. I have a family who deals with "real-life" issues. I'm in the process of building a world-wide organization for mothers that literally has the potential to change the world. I am often placed in circumstances where I become painfully aware of my weaknesses. Sometimes it's enough to send me back to bed before we've even gotten through breakfast.

However, this is where the Lord comes in.

I know that He's willing to teach me everything I need to know, but I have to ask the right questions first. I decided to write down all my questions in a Google Doc. That way, they're password-protected, they're available from any computer, and I can easily record the answers that I receive to those questions. If you'd like to start your first Google Doc, you just create a Google account and follow the simple instructions here.

This is a screen shot of my Google Docs Homepage. Highlighted in the middle are "My Questions."

Okay, so what kinds of questions do I write down? Here are some examples:

How do I get more physical energy so I am not always exhausted by my children?
How can I better learn which questions to ask?
How can I increase the power of my prayers?
How can I be a better example of faith in Jesus Christ?
How can I learn the mysteries of the scriptures and better learn to teach through them?
What is the best way for me to record all I am learning/writing/doing?
How can my husband and I truly become one in all things?
Who, specifically, do I need to bless and love that is within my sphere of influence?
What do I need to do to refine the time that I spend each day?
How can I help my children to know they're "winners" without simply teaching them the goal is to be better than everyone else?
What can I do about __________ (a current problem that is perplexing me)?

The two guidelines I have for my questions are that they have to be about things that are essential in life and they need to be phrased in a way that puts the responsibility on me. (I don't ask things like, "Why ME?")

Right now I have about 40 questions, and what I do is take one question each week or so and study that topic during my morning scripture study. I read scriptures related to that topic, study the words of those who already know the answers to these kinds of things, and then pray to the Lord for inspiration. My church's website has a great search function that brings up all kinds of wonderful material. Then I type the answers below the questions (in green, so the answers can clearly be differentiated from the questions).

Here's the best part:

When I first typed out my questions, they all felt overwhelming. I remember initially looking at my list and thinking, "How can I ever know all this?"

But then something interesting started happening. Each day as I would study and pray, I would receive a little more light. Sometimes I had to study the same question several times before the answer started to make sense. Sometimes the answer would come clearly and powerfully the first time I studied the topic, and I would have tears running down my cheeks as I typed the answers that I felt coming straight to my mind and heart. The point is that I have received answers to every single question.

Now when I add a question to my list, I have full confidence that it will be answered---and that's an amazing feeling. The answers do not always come the way I expect or the way I would like, but they're answered fully enough that I know that God is communicating to me in a way that I can understand and apply.

There are so many wonderful things that each of us can do while we're here. I don't want to waste my time feeling sorry for myself or frustrated with my inadequacies or distracted by things that don't really matter. I want to pay close attention to what's happening around me, I want to ask God for wisdom, and I want to do whatever I can to serve Him.

At The Power of Moms, we end each article with a challenge, and I think I'll do the same here. Take some time this week and write down your questions. Don't hold back--put them all in there. And then start with the hardest--or the easiest--and let God show you that He knows you, loves you, and wants to take very, very good care of you.

All my love,

April

More Fun

2011-02-20T23:23:00.000-08:00

I decided recently that I need a little more fun in my life. Not that taking pictures of office supplies (for the new version of my Mind Organization program) isn't fun,

but in the middle of all this organization, writing, website work, and housework, I've got to enjoy what I have around me.

Part of this means that I need to find the fun in everyday situations--like when I see Storm Troopers napping under a little parasol (with their weapons handy, of course).

Another part of having fun means I need to get outside my house and enjoy time with the people I love most (I'm a good worker, but not such a good relaxer). When we lived in Boston, we'd get bundled up and go ride the subway into the downtown area or visit one of the thousands of museums in the area.

We don't have many museums within an hour's drive, but we do have beaches, so a few weeks ago, we found this great bike shop in Newport and went about selecting some rentals for the day.

We put Spencer on the back of this beach cruiser, and he rode happily for four hours. (We're now in the market for one of these.)

Riding up and down the beach was the most fun we've had in a long time. Grace said, "I couldn't stop smiling the whole day. Everyone must have thought I was weird because I just smiled and smiled and smiled!" (We've lived 35 minutes from here for six years. Why have we never done this before?)

I don't know why I forget to incorporate more fun into my life. Maybe it's because I really do enjoy my work, and I don't notice that I'm not getting enough fresh air and downtime. Maybe it's because I feel guilty when I'm not being "productive." Or maybe it's because I forget that having a good time with your loved ones is being productive.

It also might be because for the past five years, I've had some pretty bad health problems, and I spent many, many Saturdays in bed. This is the first year I have felt really healthy in my entire married life, and I can't even begin to explain the difference.

I've noticed, though, that my life is simply happier when I take the time (and invest a little money) to have fun. (Could there BE a more obvious lesson I needed to learn?)

We went to my favorite restaurant after our bike riding, and I took this picture that strikes me at the heart every time I see it:

These little children (and my husband) are "the main thing" to me. My task list will always be full. There will always be laundry to do and emails to answer and projects to tackle, but these children are growing up way too fast, and I never want them to wonder if they mattered to me more than anything else in the world.

Would you mind sharing some fun, simple ways that you enjoy time together as a family?

Love,

April

Recent Press Coverage of The Power of Moms

2011-02-16T19:26:00.000-08:00

Today we were thrilled to see an article titled "Website Celebrates The Power of Moms" published in a major online newspaper. Here is a copy of the text written by Emily W. Jensen:

Professional development. Meaningful management. Innovative ideas.

This is not a training meeting in a corporation boardroom; this is PowerofMoms.com, a "professional organization for deliberate mothers striving to be the moms and women they really want to be."

Founders Saren Eyre Loosli and April Perry could not find any websites designed to help mothers connect with and learn from one another in an effort to share the joy of motherhood. So they joined forces to produce PowerofMoms.com and now have 20 moms on board, and more than 150 women who have written articles for the website.

"Each one has her own story as to why she wanted to get involved," Perry said. "But the best part is seeing how The Power of Moms is empowering sharp, talented women to contribute to a cause that strengthens families worldwide."

With more than 40,000 visitors last year, PowerofMoms.com continues to grow.

"We attract women who are serious about mothering and who want to grow their own abilities and talents through and during the experience of motherhood," Loosli said. "We've got a very diverse audience of mothers. We've got moms from 134 different countries, including moms who work outside their homes and stay-at-home moms, moms with plenty of money and moms with none, moms with several degrees from fancy universities and moms with valuable degrees from various schools of life experiences, moms with preschoolers through moms with teenagers."

And to help these mothers, PowerofMoms.com offers tabs with tools of "Empowering Opportunities," "Learning Materials" and "Family-Building Resources." Within these, one finds the monthly theme and accompanying articles, the Power of Moms Podcast, book suggestions and instructions for forming a "Learning Circle." According to Loosli, this creates "meaningful mothers groups that meet monthly to discuss great articles on specific aspects of motherhood."

PowerofMoms.com also has resources to "help moms do some self assessment and set and track meaningful goals through our Bloom Program," Loosli said. "And last, but not least, we put on life-changing weekend retreats and workshops to help moms learn from each other and leave armed with tried-and-true ideas to make their motherhood experience what they want it to be and help their families reach their potential."

And they are seeing results. Perry received an e-mail from a single mother "who was seriously depressed about raising her 3-year-old. She was convinced that she was going to mess him up, and she didn't know how to handle her frustrations."

But about six months after beginning to read articles on PowerofMoms.com and starting a Learning Circle support system, this mother e-mailed again to say, "I can do this! I am actually becoming a better mother now!"

In addition to PowerofMoms.com, Loosli and Perry plan to soon launch a new website called "The Power of Families" that will offer parenting programs and resources.
Perry described how she feels "so much joy and purpose as I care for the people I love most" by sharing this with other mothers through PowerofMoms.com.

"Our overall vision is to offer moms around the world the chance to network with other moms who share their same values, motivations, hopes and dreams," Loosli said. "We want to help moms grow through motherhood, not just go through motherhood."

Perry added, "We want mothers to understand that they don't need to feel depressed, lonely or frustrated — they can come join a community that can help them to thrive."

To see the published article, click HERE.

(This blog was actually brought to you by Alia, age 11, while by Mom was putting curlers in my hair.) Have a great day! ;-)

Seven Ways to Keep the Love Alive in Your Marriage

2011-02-16T10:53:00.000-08:00

Here's a little post I put together (with the help of my Facebook friends) for Deseret News:

When my husband and I were dating, it was so easy to be romantic. We'd write little love notes to each other, hold hands while we studied in the library, make dinner together, and enjoy long, uninterrupted conversations while we picnicked under a tree or took long drives through a nearby canyon.

Over the past twelve years, we've grown deeper in love as we built our family, moved nine times, worked through thousands of life challenges, and spent hundreds of Saturday mornings making the family's favorite omelet recipe together.

But now whenever we even get close to gazing into each other's eyes, we hear someone yell, "I need help in the bathroom!" or "What's seven times three?" or "So and so just used a mean voice!"

Creating a marriage that leaves you feeling twitterpated at the end of each day doesn't happen automatically--especially when you have children, but here are seven ideas that have helped me to savor the opportunity I have to live with my Prince Charming (and then I desperately need advice on how to keep romance alive during the teenage years because I have about 23 months until that becomes my reality).

(1) Cut out as many extracurricular activities as possible. This might seem totally unrelated, but running ourselves ragged all day isn't going to leave us in a loving mood. When I feel tempted to sign my children up for seven new classes in our community, I stop and ask, "Would my children prefer to have stellar athletic skills or parents with a strong marriage?" Some moms can handle a busy schedule better than I can, but if something's got to give, it's not going to be my marriage. For more inspiration on this, read the book Momfidence by Paula Spencer.

(2) Take a nap. My husband gets a little smirk on his face when I tell him that I'm taking a nap for him, but it's the honest truth (okay, I'm also taking a nap for me, but it's mostly for him). When I'm well-rested, I have more energy to devote to our marriage--or at least I won't be an emotional wreck by the time the children are tucked in bed. Even a quick nap in a car during a lunch break can do wonders. Read Mommy's Naptime 101 for more ideas.

(3) Protect "Mommy-Daddy-After-Dinner Time." No matter how busy our schedule, I often find there's a 15-minute lull after dinner before the evening's activities begin. This is when mom and dad get to snuggle on the couch and talk about their day while the children sit closely or play quietly. I read this years ago in the book Babywise, and it's stuck with me. Why would we want to create a home that is child-centered? It needs to be family-centered, and that means mom and dad deserve some time together. When my husband and I are able to connect each day--really connect--the entire family benefits.

(4) Early bedtimes for the kids. I know my views on this are a little odd, but hear me out. When children are in bed early, parents have more time together, and you end up with well-rested children. When I had three preschoolers, I'd bathe them at 4 pm, dress them in their pajamas, and then feed them dinner when my husband got home around 5:30 (minimizing messy dinners like spaghetti). Then it was easy to tuck everyone in bed at 6:30 (with a basket full of books and a nightlight clamped to their bed) and have "lights out" by 7. People give me a hard time about this, but seriously, when I'm relaxing on the couch at 7:15, snuggling with my husband, that's a nice feeling. We've pushed back the bedtimes now that our oldest is 11, but I still have a "mommy shut down time" inspired by Parenting with Love and Logic. If my children want to stay up a bit, that's fine, but I'm off duty.

(5) Focus on all the reasons you appreciate each other. I won't pretend that there aren't hundreds of distractions working against us in the romance department, but we can't let them completely take over our lives. Today I need to repair the brakes on our van, reorganize the website content for The Power of Moms, return our library books, host a play group, and complete dozens of other tasks (just like you . . . I know I'm not alone here), but in the midst of all that, I can think about why I love my husband, and I can let him know I love him. A quick text message saying, "Thanks for buying me flowers this week" or "I think you're very handsome" can go a long way. One day he wrote love messages all over our bathroom mirror with dry erase markers, and I loved it.

(6) Dance to love songs as a family while you tidy the house together. I don't know what it is, but as soon as we turn on a song like "The Promise" by When in Rome, we are overflowing with happy feelings. Sometimes when we're doing our evening clean-up, we'll crank up the love songs, and my husband and I will start ballroom dancing and stealing kisses in the kitchen. Our children pretend to be annoyed and often say things like, "Not in front of us!" or "Eww, that's gross," but we know it's good for them to see us in love.

(7) Make your date night a priority. I did an informal poll of my friends as to how they keep romance alive while raising a family, and across the board, date night was a must. Just because we're married doesn't mean the courtship is over. If you can swing it, go on a vacation without the children, but even if a vacation isn't feasible or finances are tight, dating doesn't have to be complicated.

One friend told me about a couple who would go to the market and buy a half gallon of ice cream. Then they would just sit and talk in the car (trying not to talk about the children the whole time). My friend JoEllen told me that her husband Mark will help get the babysitter and then help out with the Saturday jobs so they have the time to date and it won't be a hassle for her. Another friend reminded me that "a babysitter is cheaper than a divorce lawyer."

When my husband was in school, there were lots of families with young children in our apartment complex, but zero teenagers or grandparents who could babysit. We set up a swap where one Friday night a month, we would watch nine children, and then we had three Fridays to go out on dates. Those were some busy years, but I know the reason we're so in love today is because we have consistently made time for each other.

However you decide to do it, growing a great marriage requires creativity, work, and dedication, but when your marriage isfull of love and romance, there's no doubt that it's absolutely worth the effort.

QUESTION: What helps you build your marriage, even when you're juggling the responsibilities of a family? (Those of you with teenagers, especially, please share your thoughts!)

CHALLENGE: Pick one thing you can do this month to make your relationship great.

Photo by Luigi Diamanti courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net. http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images)/view_photog.php?photogid=879