Best visit EVER! Mom was so happy. We went on a walk, we had a great talk, and she happily went with the nurse when it was time for bed. So grateful.
I'm still on a high from that visit.
My mom was calm and cheerful most of the time--even though she wasn't quite sure what was happening or where she was. (We passed her room as I was pushing her wheelchair down the hall, and when she saw "Z. Wilson" on the name plate, she laughed at how similar that was to her own name--Zoe Wilson--and said, "Isn't that funny?")
Since I'm recording my favorite moments here on this blog, I want to tell you about a conversation we had on our walk.
Mom was in a pleasant state of mind, and I could feel that she was "there"--enough that I could share some of my deepest concerns with her and get some great advice. In the past couple of years, there have been so many times I've been in a quandary, and I've wished I could just call my mom and ask her what to do.
Most of the time I can't, so when moments like this one pop up, I just start pouring out my heart as quickly as I can.
One of the things that is weighing heavily on my mind is how to best take care of my website (Power of Moms).
We are trying to coordinate our upcoming retreats right now, we're shifting our editorial calendar and communicating our vision with the more than 400 authors on our monthly call-out list, and we're in the middle of publishing two books, building additional online programs, producing our podcasts and radio show, and working on dozens of exciting projects.
Organizing these projects and tasks is something I enjoy, and I do my best to keep everything straight, but even with an amazing co-director and a fantastic board of more than 45 other moms, this is a really big job.
And throughout this process, I want to be a great wife to Eric and a devoted, fun, deliberate mother to Alia, Grace, Ethan, and Spencer.
So I asked my mom what I should do when I feel like I'm not running my website as well as I think it should be run--because family life comes first, and it's often unpredictable, and I simply can't do everything I wish I could do.
She listened to all my concerns, and then she said, "April, the Lord doesn't measure your success based on your website. He measures your success based on how much you love Him."
Her words pierced my heart, and I immediately knew they were true. There was nothing left to say.
I keep thinking about that advice, and yesterday, I went for a run on the beach by my parents' house:
I sat for awhile at the end of the peninsula, reading a few scriptures from my phone, praying hard, and asking the Lord to help me to love Him more fully.
The responsibility still feels very heavy, but I've decided that I'm not going to try to "do it all."
When I love God, and when I live the way He wants me to live, He speaks to me and shows me what to do.
That's not stressful at all.
I think I can do this. (Well, I know I can do this . . . with His help.)