(Thanks so much for all the kindness you have extended to me. I have been deeply touched by you, my dear friends, who have reached out to support me during this time. It means the world to me.)
While I'm spending time with my mom and taking care of my children during Spring Break, I haven't been online very much, but I wanted to post a few photos and at least provide a little update on my sweet mother.
This is my mom's room at the rehabilitation center (Grace and Alia drew pictures to liven up the place a bit):
During my first two visits to see her (before the doctors adjusted her medication), she was asleep most of the time and couldn't carry on a conversation. I just sat next to her while she dozed, and I held her hand. It was still heaven.
Grace took these photos of us and got a close-up here:
The boys play checkers or other games on the iPad during my visits. They've been so good, but I'd love to hear what you would do with two little boys when you're in a small space like this (we pack Hot Wheels, Legos, books, snacks, and coins for the vending machines).
I let Ethan practice his photography the other day while he and Spencer ran around the courtyard:
|Photo of Spencer by Ethan. Love these boys.|
Grace, Alia, and I play songs on the piano to entertain the residents. One day, my mom played "Blue Moon" for my sister, but she hasn't been in a piano-playing mood while I've been there. She did sing with me yesterday, though!
Mostly I just try to give my mom lots of hugs and kisses. For about a week's time, I thought I was losing her, and the pain I felt was so much worse than I imagined it could be. I've been crying way too much, eating too much chocolate, procrastinating projects, and trying to figure out how on earth I am going to keep going once my mom leaves this life.
Yesterday, she had a great day. She was alert, smiling, standing up without assistance, and eating her lunch all on her own (we've been feeding her up to this point).
During a quiet moment in the courtyard, after we'd finished our lunch and the boys had gone inside to play, I told her what a mess I've been.
"Mom, last week I thought I was going to lose you, and I was falling apart. I was crying all the time, and I was so worried. I just don't know what I will ever do without you."
What happened next was a tender mercy from the Lord. It was a beautiful experience that I don't want to forget. It wasn't so much what she said, but it was what I felt as she was speaking. She was totally "there" during our conversation, and I could tell that she understood what I was going through and how much I needed her words of comfort.
She got a little choked up and said, "April, I love you, and you don't need to worry. I will always be with you. Always. If I need to get a message to you, the Lord will help me to do that. And you must remember that there is going to come a day when we will all be together forever."
I sat with her in the sunshine for a few more minutes while we held each other.
Then the boys needed something, so I wheeled her back inside, and we got on with our day.
I don't know how long I will get to have my mom with me (I'm requesting 20 more years), but this woman is my inspiration.
|Grace captured this beautiful photo of my mom.|
I wish each of you could meet her in person, feel her light, hear how she talks about God, and see how she really, really knows Him.
I love her so much.