Sunday, October 10, 2010

Why I LOVE the Love Languages

I mentioned before that Susan Chapman taught an excellent class about Love Languages at our Power of Moms Retreat.

In one sentence, the love languages tell you how your family members feel most loved--through acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, or physical affection.

Three weeks later, here's how these ideas are changing my family:

(1) My little boy is the "gifts" kind of child.  He presents me with fun rocks, gives me dandelions from the backyard...it's really sweet.  I used to say, "Thanks for the rock!" and then throw it back into the pile when he wasn't looking.  Now, since the Retreat, I CHERISH those gifts, and I let them know how much they mean to me.  It's not just about the rock...it's about the love that went into the giving.

(2) My husband shows love by giving us quality time with him, and now I'm learning to do the same.  Before, when he would get home from work, he'd take a short break on the couch (before heading out to meetings for church), and I would flutter around the kitchen, cleaning up from dinner. 

Now, I sit down next to him, talk with him about our days, and do a little snuggling.  Then the children help me clean up after he leaves, and it only takes a few minutes.  The other day, when I sat down near my husband, he said, "You DO know that I like when you sit by me!"

(3) One of my daughters feels love by words of affirmation, and this morning she was feeling a little down.  She asked if she could check her email (which I closely monitor, and I knew she didn't have any emails in there).  I told her to wait just a second, and then I typed up a quick love email, just for her:

Just so you know how much I love you!
 
1- You are funny.  I like how you make me laugh when you do funny dances.
2- You decorate the bulletin board with fun Halloween decorations.
3- You are a helpful sister.  You treat Spencer with such respect.
4- You always want to make the right decision.  You don't say bad words, you don't lie, you don't cheat...you are a good, good girl
5- You like when I tickle your back at night and sing "Baby Mine"
6- You massage my arms and legs when I am tired at the end of the day
7- You help me water my plants so they don't die again!
8- You are not demanding in any way.  You are grateful for the clothes, money, etc. that I give you.
9- You are a good friend.  I never hear you saying anything unkind about your friends.
10-You are smart!  I am always so impressed at the good work you do at school.
 
LOVE YOU!
 
It was heartwarming to watch her read this email.  Seriously, it took only 3 minutes to type, but it transformed her morning. 
Here's to Love Languages!

2 comments:

  1. This is Melissa from the southern cal retreat. The love language lesson was amazing and I've been implementing it more in my family also. I love how its such a simple way to change things in such a good way. It was really wonderful getting to know you and I've been slowly doing the things we learned at the retreat. I bought 1000 dixie cups a couple weeks ago and we still have fun with those. We had our first learning circle last week and only 3 moms showed up but it was awesome. One of the moms that came is a woman I met at the park and she is new to the area and now we are becoming good friends and it all started because I felt like Power of Moms gave me the confidence to speak out and speak up about how amazing motherhood is. Just wanted to share. Thanks for being such a great example. You can always check out my family's blog if you're interested.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is Melissa from the southern cal retreat. The love language lesson was amazing and I've been implementing it more in my family also. I love how its such a simple way to change things in such a good way. It was really wonderful getting to know you and I've been slowly doing the things we learned at the retreat. I bought 1000 dixie cups a couple weeks ago and we still have fun with those. We had our first learning circle last week and only 3 moms showed up but it was awesome. One of the moms that came is a woman I met at the park and she is new to the area and now we are becoming good friends and it all started because I felt like Power of Moms gave me the confidence to speak out and speak up about how amazing motherhood is. Just wanted to share. Thanks for being such a great example. You can always check out my family's blog if you're interested.

    ReplyDelete



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